Social interaction & Friendship

Post Reply New Topic

Hey everyone,

I'm feeling pretty highly strung tonight and the need to get stuff out off my head seems crucial yet forming sentences/paragraphs are struggle. so i'm gonna list things in bullet points. that are relevant to me and friendships/social interactions and please feel free to way in with your opinions stories ect

1. After having a conversation or prolonged social interaction with someone/few people. i go over the conversation in my head and try to analyse what was said, vocal tone and body language. I think i kinda try and sort of whether the interaction was positive or negative. if after thinking about it find a lot of negative things that have happened, i start to obsess and then in a defensive way, i go back over it all again and start picking it apart and then i get really anxious to the point i start saying not so nice things about the person. After this had all taken place, i can talk about the conversation/interaction for days or even weeks until i get it out of my system.

2. When interacting with one particular friend, they always feel the need to contradict whatever i have said, i get really frustrated and anxious over this to the point yet again the scenario plays continuously over in my head until days later.

3. When i pull away from social interaction and have a time out on my own to recharge or if i simply leave the room, when i hear people talking, i think they are discussing me and my behaviour or criticising me. to the point yet again my anxiety goes through the roof and all sorts of things run through my head.

4. After a while of over thinking and analysing the interactions, i get really upset and even start to resent those who i call my friends. i get such mixed emotions about it all that i then feel extremely guilty.

5. I try to avoid confrontation/drama at any point with others, i'm often taking advantage off and can not say no, which yet again after a period of time i notice that people are using me, and a seethe over it, until i drive myself crazy and end up with a melt down.

6. seriously worried that there is going to be one day i'm going to be pushes over the edge with all this and really let everything out verbally at someone and end up hurting them.

gah i'm now exhausted completely and i need to lie down

We've all been there to some degree, I'm sure. The easy answer is, "don't over analyze and don't obsess so much." Of course easy answers solve nothing. You could talk to them about it at some other time. Say, "Hey, remember the other day when you said... what did you mean by that?" If they're decent people, they might explain that it was a meaningless ribbing or a failed attempt at humor. Removed from the emotion of the incident, you can make your feelings known without reaching a boiling point and exploding. If it turns out they were being jerks at your expense, then maybe they're not worth hanging out with.

Practice saying the word no. Try it out a few times. Realize that people will carry on, and nothing will come crashing down upon you when you say it. You might even feel better, because you won't have the spinning anxiety from not saying it when you should have.