Starting anew - organising a big life change.

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Hi all,

For the last year I've been working on a plan in my mind to pretty much completely change the circumstances under which I live. I've been working in kitchens for the last 10+ years which has become inappropriate for my sensitivity to sound and propensity towards getting lost in negative thought. In a couple of months I'll be able to claim long service leave.

The plan is as such:

1. Acquire car
2. Quit job and avoid telling everyone how it is on the way out
3. Move to mountain forest location with minimal road noise and enough space that I can set up my recording studio
4. Acquire cat because it's becoming increasingly obvious that human relationships are not going to work for me anytime soon
5. Start working in the Alcohol and Other Drug/mental health sector
6. Wood carving and other sculpture work alongside my other creative pursuits.

I have a friend who I get along with well who has expressed a potential interest in living with me, though ultimately I'd like to live alone.
I've lived by myself in the past but substance abuse issues saw me in a precarious position re: rent etc. Now I'm clean and sober, I keep pining for having my own space in which I don't have to engage with other people unless I want to, don't have to listen to the TV or even have one in the house, don't have to stifle creative impulses because so and so is asleep and singing at 2am isn't socially acceptable etc etc.

I have gone so far as to do the ground research on potential suburbs and list the pros and cons of the move... Basically, the pros are as above and the main drawbacks are cost of living, loneliness and potential for relapse.

I feel that I am stable in my recovery, and my choice of career will keep me involved in the treatment sector, but it's definitely worth keeping these things in mind and not romanticising the concept.
I am lonely as all hell anyway, even with 2 housemates I get home and keep the conversation going for as long as I need to before going straight upstairs to my room. I'm pretty well sorted for social options except for a partner, which, without getting too bleak, doesn't seem to be something that's happening for me. Hopefully in time someone will be kind enough to point out the errors I am making upon meeting a potential love interest.
Cost of living's unfortunate because, well, things aren't getting cheaper. The main things I can do are grow my own vegetables and plan meals. I have been eating a plant-based diet for the last 8 months with every success and no reason to change back, so food can definitely be cheap if I want.

My current lease runs out in March and my long service leave comes up in January... So my current plan is to keep saving and start looking for jobs after NYE and make sure I have the car and enough money to move by March. Admittedly this will require some vigilance on a day to day basis to make sure I'm saving and not buying new instruments but I think it can be done.

There are a lot of intricacies to this plan but I don't see why it can't more or less happen for me. The main issue I see is finding a place that will actually leave me with money left over after rent! I came up with this after a lot of thought into what I could change about my life that could actually see me living without depression. The main two things are being out of the city and away from people and being free to create.

I was hoping to keep this short but as usual, that hasn't happened What I would like to know is-

-Have any of you made similarly radical changes to their lives?
-What were they, how did they turn out?
-Are there any gaping holes in my logic or plans that you can point out?

Thank you!

Make sure you consider the increase in the cost of travel because, knowing from experience, living out in the country means you drive a lot to everywhere. I am 6 miles from the closest grocery store, 5 miles to the nearest gas station. So, make sure you consider the cost of gas when you are planning your expenses.

I am assuming your recording studio is just for recording yourself, not others?

Be aware that landlords may not allow you to have a cat. Cats can scratch up all the door frames, etc. (I know from experience - I've got two of them.)

Oh yeah. Gas (Petrol, as we call it in 'Straya ) is a big concern for me. The price keeps going up but wages aren't increasing to accommodate for it! Proximity to shops would be a big advantage for me. Something to put right at the top of the list of considerations! I really hope it doesn't turn into a deal-breaker as the city's slowly killing me. Every time I go out to the forested area I'd like to move my anxiety is all but gone. If I turn my phone off I find it a lot easier to just forget the crap that's going on elsewhere. I've found a few places in proximity to public transport which could be brilliant.

I sometimes have people over and we jam, but yes, for the most part I've got my drums, guitars, keyboards, microphones etc and record bit-by-bit. I'm not averse to working with others but I need solo projects so I can have complete control over it without feeling like a dick.

When reading your comment about cats, I heard the sound of my childhood pet crrrrrunching the sliding door to the backyard... Definitely something to consider! I was running over possibilities in my head last night and found myself imagining screwing metal plates to screen doors etc. to try and alleviate that problem.
There's also the fact that I'm against letting cats outside to kill wildlife but also am not sure if it's fair to keep one inside all the time... But then again, if I rescue one from certain death perhaps that nullifies it? A bit of a moral/philosophical quandary to consider

Thanks for the reply-- I'll definitely place the cost of transport a lot higher in my planning priorities.

Hi there fellow Aussie sick of city life!

I haven't completed my "radical changes to my life" but I'm kind of in the middle of it right now. I left Melbourne and moved to a town of 10,000. At the moment I'm bored and frustrated, because I don't have a job and am waiting on some things to occur so I can take some further steps. I can keep you posted on how it goes if you like because for now I'm in limbo.

In the meantime I'll say that I LOVE being out in the country, it is so much better than the city. Rent is really cheap out here so with a decent job it is easy to live alone (or you could come live with me and teach me how to grow my own food!! )

I moved out here last year with a job to go to, but returned to Melbourne for a "better" job with the organisation that didn't work out. Because I loved it here so much I came back a few months ago, but without a job. I didn't realise just how scarce jobs are in a small town, so be aware of that I guess.

Cats: I was surprised to learn that at the RSCPA here they generally only euthanase the animals that are too sick or too dangerous, all the others eventually find homes. So you wouldn't be saving one from certain death in that case, but to solve your ethical dilemma - install a cat run in the backyard!

Oh, and outside vs. inside cats...

Cats will kill mice/wildlife. In the country, wildlife (mice and squirrels) can easily get inside your house. Your cat will just kill them inside instead of outside.

However, if you declaw your cat, it will neither kill wildlife nor will it scratch up the doors and furniture. Some people say this is unethical, but I think it is OK if your cat is an indoors-only cat. Cats need their claws to fend off attackers if they go outside.

I like the idea of a cat run in the backyard; I heard of someone who built what I guess is a kind of greenhouse-like enclosure or conservatory type of area, maybe a bit more open at the roof I suppose, where her cats could be "outside" but confined to a safe place and not running wild.

About the idea of indoor cats -- this is a controversial topic because anytime it's discussed somewhere online, that I've seen, there are people vehemently protesting that it's "cruel," while others from usually another part of the country or even the world will have an understanding that it's not.

I used to live in a a city in the US whose animal rescue and adoption shelters actually REQUIRED you to promise you will keep your adopted cat indoors as a "house cat" or apartment cat. My local branch of The Humane Society actually made me sign a form to that effect. They neuter and spay all their incoming animals before adopting them out, and they want cats to be indoor cats for safety, longevity, to avoid being a burden to local wildlife or in fact getting injured, attacked or killed themselves. We had urban coyotes, rabies, etc.

One of my vets even got angry with me for NOT making my first ever cat an exclusively indoor cat for his own safety. He was repeatedly getting beaten up by local outdoor and feral cats, was costing us a fortune in infected abcesses from the fights, and was even getting bullied by blue jays. He finally went missing for two weeks and was found bedraggled, mangy and in visible depression, so we finally made him be an indoor cat. He got healthy and happy, lived a long life, had a playmate cat, lots of toys and excercise things to climb on, and I've never looked back. I would never have an outdoor cat again now.

As long as you give them toys and actively play with the cat with its toys, give them climbing trees and scratching posts, and neuter or spay as early as vet advice allows, you will have no problem with scratching or spraying or a need to go outside and kill things.

I've successfully had three long lived indoor cats serially, and they are happy as clams. It's not true that a cat is always going to live a miserable life if kept indoors. Cats in city apartments all over the world live indoor lives successfully.

Someone is probably going to come along and angrily attack me for this philosophy -- it happens online with this topic all the time. It's like a discussion about religion -- it always gets heated and goes downhill.

So all I'm going to say is, where I lived, not only the rescue/adoption centers but even VETS urged us to have our cats be "indoor cats."

If a vet has no qualms with the lifestyle and my nearest Humane Society wouldn't release a cat for adoption if the person says they plan to let it outside -- then that's good enough for me to know that this is NOT a harmful practice or a bad way for a cat to live.

Just saying. You'll be fine keeping your kitty inside. Try to start young -- an older animal used to the outdoors may have more problems with the change. Provide the cat with all it could need and it will have a happy life.

Sorry for the delayed reply all

I'll certainly keep those considerations in mind when deciding whether to get a cat. In theory YES, I'd love one, but there are so many considerations to be made, the least of which being that I'm supposed to be a vegan I consider keeping a cat inside a bit cruel, but letting it out to kill things the same... Not to mention feeding a carnivore vegan cat food!! I guess if I were living in the hills I could find someone who breeds reptiles or something for mice and at least not support big pet food companies. A cat run in the backyard is a super-cute idea

Tamarin: If I came out to teach you how to grow food we'd both starve That's something I'd be learning as I went along!
Definitely let me know how things progress!! One thing that I'm completely lost on is how people manage to move around without a job to fall back on. Like... How the hell does one live by themselves without stable income?? I want in on that racket!! I have a friend who, when I met her, was teaching yoga like 3 times a week and had a huge 2 bedroom unit all to herself. I haven't asked her how she did it 'cus it seems a bit rude to do so, but I am intrigued. I think that I have thought myself into a box a little, and am starting to come up against a wall of 'THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.'