My dad is showering strangers with money

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My dad is extremely tight fisted. He hates spending money and extracting a single pound from him has to be done with great cunning and planning. I mean that in the most literal sense too, shoppping money, bills, school fees, he complains and goes into a rage whenever he has to spend out money. He is also exacting about how much he has "loaned" to my mum. You get the idea.

We recently discovered that he's given 2500 away in total to different friends who have asked him for loans. He doesnt protect himself in any way and he doesnt charge interest. He has no plan of action to ensure that he gets the money back.

I dont live with my family but this situation is quite serious. My family are having financial difficulties and my dad has given away 2.5k of money that could have changed their lives. I dont understand and dont know what to do

I am guessing, but both behaviors although seemingly contradictory are could be Aspie traits. Tight fistedness/Rigidness in routines is a way of making sense of a world that seems overwhelming. Our lack of understanding of others motives can lead to a person being very loyal and trusting of people who do befriend us to the point of naiveté. Guessing by your age on your description he is in his 40's or 50's. That age would be very young for dementia although not impossible,a person in that age group could have a stroke both which could cause radical changes in personality. So called "higher functioning" autism would not have likely been have detected when he was growing up. There is a genetic component to Aspergers.

My mom does this.

She is very ungenerous with me and to a lesser extent my brother. She has even taken money from me and my brother - when we could least afford it.

But she's given a car to someone (one she inherited but didn't want), subsidised someone else's rent, etc etc. I think it's because they're then 'beholden' to her and it makes them 'like' her. Whereas with us, she doesn't feel she needs to. She can buy friends, but doesn't feel she needs to 'buy' us. I don't know. It's the only explanation I can think of.

I don't think you can tackle this really. You can't make him stop - with a few exceptions. My mom can afford to do what she does, but it sounds like that's not the case for your family and I'm very concerned about your mother's financial well-being. Also my mother is a narcissist who would deny any inappropriate activity - even though she's stolen money from me.

Unless you get a court ordered power-of-attorney he's going to be the master of his own finances. And unless your mother is willing to make a claim of financial abuse (which it what it sounds like) and split assets through marital dissolution, I really don't know what else you can do.

You and your mother CAN go to a legal clinic - there often free ones - there's one near me for example and seek advice. I would also see about going to citizen's advice bureau (I think you're in the UK?) You can also seek to host a family intervention where you talk plainly and openly about his behaviour, but it may not make much difference.