Having no friends

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Detachment, dropping "friends": if I put "friends" in quotation marks it is because I really have no real friends. Ffriendship, as I
define it now, is the desire,or better need, to protect someone,possibly being reciprocated. When I came to this new city where I live now, leaving the city where I had a job and some "friends", I verified that all the "friends" I purportedly had, had their bond with me depending on the very tiny fraction of power I had, given my position of detaining a job (teacher). With my abandoning the job, all "friends" disappeared. I do not fault them,I fault only myself. And it is not really a fault.
More later, if possible.




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That's an interesting definition of friendship.

I'm not sure how I'd define it, because I want to protect people but I'm not sure whether that depends on our being friends or not, because I don't know how to tell if someone is a 'friend'.

Sorry to hear that those people didn't stick around. I guess maybe you're better off without them if that's how they treat you. Are there any ways you could make some friends?

I can tell you that I have friends through my job and they demonstrated that they were "friends indeed" helping me in a time of crisis with no hope of gain to themselves.

Nevertheless, I suck at friendship. I don't have confidence that people like me, even when they have demonstrated this and I find making arrangements to meet and then meeting very hard work and exhausting to the point that I can't really do it if I have to focus in on work or family troubles...

And I find that unless I make the sort of gestures that do not come naturally to me, people think I don't like them and this causes us to drift apart. It's all my own fault, but it is hard work to maintain relationships.

have to agree with Adamantium. Having friends is so exhausting. I've tried it several times and I just end up feeling so awkward and out of place. I just begin to make up excuses and the friendships dissolve.

I find small talk and socialization both physically and mentally draining that the benefit gained doesn't out way the toll it takes.

Even my wife, who I consider my only true friend, I find myself feeling a lack of confidence at times and just want to get away. Thankfully she is a talker so I don't have to carry much of the conversation