Things Other People Used to Take Care of

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If you're living independently, what's the hardest part about living independently for you right now, today? I mean: What's the biggest issue you're actively dealing with that would have been somebody else's responsibility if you weren't now independent?

I've been living independently for over a year now, and my biggest active problem with living independently right now is that there has been a slowly growing crack forming in the ceiling of my apartment's bathroom, which I sometimes catch actually dripping water, for a few months now. I HAVE to report it soon for health and safety reasons, but I've been putting it off because I have to report it either in person or (worse!) over the phone.

This is what I call a "big little problem": A big problem with a small-and-obvious-looking solution, the solution in my case being to JUST TELL SOMEONE.

My biggest problem is when Ive miscalculated my money and am short for my rent or have a big bill that I cant afford.

Having said that like you I dont like reporting things to my landlord but will have to soon as I have
one broken cooker
one broken front door
all external windows and doors rotten
broken kitchen cupboards
a leak in the roof which is causing damp in the kitchen.
rotten floor in the bathroom where the bath is leaking

and the more it builds up the less I want to contact them as they will be really cross and I might have to pay for all the rotten wood to be redone.

You could send an email or write a letter and leave it at the office?

For me it was washing the pots and pans. I love to cook but ABHOR washing the damn things. I finish my meals and a little cloud of doom and gloom comes over my head for I know I must scrub the cooking implements. /sigh.

I used to make my mum do all the phonecalls for me and take me to appointments, but weve fallen out in recent years and she wont so I just try not to make phonecalls now and try to avoid appointments. I got my ex to help me quite a bit and come with me to things but I will have to discipline myself not to ask him as its inappropriate and unfair now we are exes.

Cleaning/organizing.

It's one of the most stressful things in this world to me and almost always end in hysterics.

I hate dealing with my taxes and similarly official stuff. I manage to do it but it feels like a burden to me, even though mine are actually quite simple. But it's not the task in itself that I find difficult - it's just having to do it. I hate bureacracy and being made to do things even when I know how to do them. So yep, taxes are the biggest drag for me.

I too procrastinate about reporting repairs need -- because my apartment managers make such a song and dance about it. It's a lot of disruption and that pushes my "don't like change and disruption" buttons. I often wind up fixing something myself at my own expense, if it's minor and not complicated.

I hate washing dishes. I don't have a dishwasher -- but that's okay as even when I did have one in my last apartment, I never used it anyway -- I prefer to hand wash. But even though it's preferable, I still hate doing it.

.

finding time to clean and do my laundry. I hate laundry!

My landlord lives quite far from my apartment so if something does go wrong I always have to call him but 99% of the time I have to leave a message. And if I do get a hold of him he normally can't come over until the next day or so, even if it's an emergency. And I've had to ask him maybe a million times about the doorsteps, which were rotted and starting to fall apart, before he finally had them replaced. However my father is quite good at fixing things so all I usually have to do is call my parents at work and he usually comes over during lunch to repair whatever is wrong.

Calling the landlord when there's a problem with my apartment terrifies me, I instantly begin sweating profusely and my heart starts racing, then I'm even less "feeling able" to make that intimidating phone call.
I'm a fear-based creature and am always scared of "making" someone (esp. a person with power over my life circumstances) displeased/angry with me (by contacting them to say I need help).

It's not so hard to get ahold of my counselors bc. sometimes I have good news to share with them-
but when it comes to the landlord, the very nature of our roles (as landlord & tenant)
means I don't call up merely to say "things are fine, no worries, your presence is *not* required, have a nice day.".

Well, I went from living with my mother to living with my husband and have never lived alone, but I can tell you the one thing I really miss about being young and living at home with my mother. It's when I get sick, nobody really takes care of me now, the way my mother and grandmother used to. I know it's silly, but I like to be fussed over. I'd like somebody to come ask me what I might want to eat and then make it and bring it to me. I'd like somebody to change my bed while I'm in the bathroom. I'd like somebody to come in to check on how I'm doing and ask if I want something to drink. Thats the way I take care of everybody else here when they get sick. You'd think they would have a clue, wouldn't you? When I get sick they just leave me alone. If I want something, I have to ask for it. They get it for me, but I don't want to have to ask for it when I'm sick, I want to be checked on. They wake me up to ask me where the oil is, or if that cheese is for anything particular or can they use it, or how much vinager to put in the washing machine with the towel that the cat peed on. Then when I do get up and I'm somewhat better, and I venture out of my room into the rest of the house, it's trashed. It's there waiting on me to clean up.

I miss being able to be sick in peace lol.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com