Adult Seeking Help For First Time: What Happens Next?

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MisterJosephK
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23 Nov 2014, 4:37 pm

I posted this on the main forum, but it quickly got lost in the shuffle and someone messaged me to repost it here, so if you've read it elsewhere, sorry for the repost (I deleted the other one).

Anyway...

I am a 41 year old who was diagnosed AS five years ago. The diagnosis wasn't something I'd sought out; it was happenstance that led to it. I was working in a high school, and would attend ARD meetings on a regular basis. After two or three ARDs and numerous meetings with the specialists about students I was working with, I was taken aside. In a friendly way, I was asked if I had ever been diagnosed as being on the spectrum. I really didn't even know what Aspergers was, so I said no, and thought nothing of it. She said she could arrange a meeting with the district's tester to pursue this diagnosis further. I put it under my hat, and went about life. A few weeks later, I started a new semester in graduate school, and a few weeks later, the professor shocked me by asking me the exact same thing. He said my mannerisms in class and in general were reminiscent of his son--and as my professor's specialty was working with special needs students, he highly recommended I be tested. I thought to myself, "why? I'm 36 years old, and I'm doing okay with my life so far," and I asked him about what the benefits would be. He said there might come a time that, although my life was good now, it could go off the rails, and that I should be prepared with a knowledge on how to cope. So, I met with the tester, spent a half a day going over various personality tests and extensive interviewing, and they confirmed that, yes, I placed on the spectrum.

Against all advice, I did nothing with this knowledge. I had this belief that I could cope with life. Yet in hindsight, I should have realized that I have had this problem before, of regressing, of becoming extremely inwardly focused, not working, stagnating for long periods of time. The only difference between those times and this time was that it no longer seemed like "lazyitis," but there was a potential root cause to be addressed.

A year and a half later, life fell apart in a major way...and I haven't coped well with it. Out of work, no money, having to move in with my dad, no friends, and few to no job opportunities coming my way. I regressed into depression, shutdowns, and a life that I know is unsustainable. I'd take temp jobs here and there, but nothing really fulfilling to me. Only last year did I happen upon affordable insurance for medical care.

About a month ago, I realized that this is unacceptable. I need help. I need to consult with people whose jobs are specifically focused on my needs. Yeah, a month ago I made that decision. It wasn't until last weekend that I decided I'd call for help. I slept not one bit. The idea of making this call filled me with terror and fear. I had the information I needed to contact a specialist in spectrum disorders.
Monday morning, I sat by the phone for three hours, mind racing, picking up the phone and changing my mind.

But I did it. I picked up the phone. I called. Was assured the clinic would be happy to help me. Yet I'm still extremely apprehensive.

So my question to you is: what happens now?

Adult-diagnosed AS people, please tell me what I should expect? I'd be appreciative of your feedback; I'm needing something to help allay my nerves between now and my appointment in two weeks.



ASPartOfMe
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24 Nov 2014, 5:37 am

It varies a lot depending on your location so if you could give us a general idea of where you live it would be helpful.

No matter where you are located, coming to Wrong Planet will be helpful and whatever specific issues you are having there is somebody elsewhere that has experienced them here.
I was told by my boss in the late 1990's that I was "a little bit autistic" and did not do anything about it. Unfortunately I did not get two people in rapid secession telling me this as it was generally unknown back then.


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DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


mc2004
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30 Nov 2014, 4:02 pm

I am 37 and self-diagnosed about two years ago, when my wife and I found out that two of our four sons had been diagnosed with AS. We are very conscientious parents, so their diagnosis led to a large amount of reading and research about symptoms, complications, presentations and coping strategies. I felt like instead of learning how to parent my AS children, I was reading a description of myself.

Like you, I have done almost nothing with the information. It is helpful to know, because I believe it will allow me to build strategies based on what I now know is my "operating system" that affects every single thing about me. Your friend was right, there will be a time when your life goes off the rails. This year has been that for me. I posted a thread in the "making friends" forum yesterday about my struggles with relationships and especially my marriage that I can point directly back to issues caused by my AS (poor executive function, inability to see things from others' perspectives, etc.) - a lot of chaos has developed in my life because of things I do that seem "normal" and make sense to me, but that aren't okay to the rest of the world.

What's next? I have no idea. I clicked on this thread to find out. :lol: Personally, I am in marriage counseling and psychiatry for depression, but I am also reaching out to yet another local therapist who I happen to know is a specialist in ASD - he runs a "parents of autistic children" support group at our church. I've never been one of those who is hooked on therapy, but it seems appropriate right now given the circumstances I am in. I find that most therapists do not know how to do anything with AS, so I strongly suggest that if you choose that route you find one who does. Others are our age or better and will not understand. I am also forcing myself into more social situations where there is an expectation to show up and interact (men's groups at church, etc.) in an effort to make friends and re-introduce myself to what society expects as "normal".

Best of luck, I'll be watching this thread for insight and hopefully will be able to contribute also. :idea:



em_tsuj
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30 Nov 2014, 8:26 pm

You will be eligible for help from the government, including Voc. Rehab. and possibly disability. This can bring some piece of mind financially. I have gotten Voc. Rehab. help, and I might need disability in the future. Internally, I have a lot more self-acceptance and hope from knowing that I have AS and how it affects me.