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julfran
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10 Mar 2015, 12:03 pm

How do other aspies hold up with their jobs/career?

I've been in the same field for close to 20 years - corporte business writing. I had a really rough stretch from 2008-12 (was downsized from five different jobs within that five year span). I look back and wonder how much of that downsizing may have been a result of being an aspie.

How do others cope? I think I'm in a good place right now (as I've been with the same company for close to 2.5 years), but I feel that my career is at a stand-still with no where to move up the ladder (I'm a 47 yo male).

I'm interested to hear perspectives from other aspies. Thank you.



kraftiekortie
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11 Mar 2015, 6:23 pm

I cope by doing my work, making myself indispensable, so it wouldn't be worth it for them to fire me because I'm weird.

I also, superficially, act "social." I listen to what people say, and I respond (mostly in clichés).

I have, over the years, taken on a "court jester" persona. People accept me, even though they find me vaguely "weird."

I don't disclose that I have an autism spectrum disorder.



jk1
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13 Mar 2015, 2:35 pm

I think my life is being ruined by my autism. I have no chance of moving up the ladder. I'm disliked by most people because "being disliked" is in itself a good reason for more people to dislike me even if they don't know me. That's how my life has always been. As a result I developed a fear of people. I've lost motivation because the "social side" of work (hostility, ostracism etc) makes it impossible for me to function in a workplace. It's frustrating that less intelligent people are in a better position because they are good at jokes and banter.

I have some science and software background but I'm no longer motivated. You need at least some degree of "people skills" to succeed in any field.



Adamantium
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13 Mar 2015, 3:44 pm

jk1 wrote:
I think my life is being ruined by my autism. I have no chance of moving up the ladder. I'm disliked by most people because "being disliked" is in itself a good reason for more people to dislike me even if they don't know me. That's how my life has always been. As a result I developed a fear of people. I've lost motivation because the "social side" of work (hostility, ostracism etc) makes it impossible for me to function in a workplace. It's frustrating that less intelligent people are in a better position because they are good at jokes and banter.

I have some science and software background but I'm no longer motivated. You need at least some degree of "people skills" to succeed in any field.

Are you 15?



Rocket123
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13 Mar 2015, 9:00 pm

jk1 wrote:
I think my life is being ruined by my autism. I have no chance of moving up the ladder. I'm disliked by most people because "being disliked" is in itself a good reason for more people to dislike me even if they don't know me. That's how my life has always been. As a result I developed a fear of people. I've lost motivation because the "social side" of work (hostility, ostracism etc) makes it impossible for me to function in a workplace. It's frustrating that less intelligent people are in a better position because they are good at jokes and banter.

I have some science and software background but I'm no longer motivated. You need at least some degree of "people skills" to succeed in any field.

It's been quite freeing -- at least for me -- that I no longer aspire to "move up the ladder". I just focus on practicing my trade. Certainly, I need to interact with people. Not terribly often. But, when I do, I am 100% professional about it -- which to me means, I am always polite, I only discuss work-related topics with others, I give my honest opinion when asked, I keep my opinions to myself when not asked and I make certain to only commit to things I can do. Where possible, I avoid face-to-face interaction and focus on email (so I can spend time crafting what I want to say using extremely precise language). I don't know my co-workers (other than their name and what they work on at work).

I have no idea what others think of me. I primarily do contract work. So, as long as I am there, I assume they think I am doing a “good enough” job. Of course, I am a perfectionist. So, (from my perspective) I always do much, much better than simply “good enough”.



jk1
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15 Mar 2015, 10:54 pm

^^ I am not 15 years old. That must be one of those bugs that WP currently has. I left my DOB empty as I don't want people from RL to be able to identify me on WP (although very unlikely).

^ I'm not interested in "moving up the ladder" per se. But that's the only way you can make more money, do more interesting tasks etc, at least in this industry. I'm stuck in a boring position where I keep doing the same things every day and feel like a loser. Also unfortunately my boss happens to be a typical social butterfly. He is always exchanging jokes and banter with various people in the company and he only values others like himself. Someone awkward like me is frowned upon. I should probably change my career completely. I'm actually hoping to be made redundant so that I can get some extra money as I leave.

Yes, I think it's a good idea to work where there's no "ladder". "Just do your job and worry about nothing else" kinds of jobs suit autistic people better.



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17 Mar 2015, 9:00 am

I've noticed that a lot of aspies can do well in contract work. Other people in the work environment tend not to push them so hard socially because they're not likely to be around for that long. It can be a blessing if you don't want to be bothered.

The kind of people that excel as supervisors are busybodies and "motivators." The people above them want that type of person in a leadership role, because it's usually effective in getting the other people to work.

That's called "organizational psychology." lol

I left a career in middle management because I couldn't stand organizational practices. The aspies I worked with never got as much as they deserved and always did much more work than the others.



Rocket123
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17 Mar 2015, 11:40 am

SocOfAutism wrote:
I've noticed that a lot of aspies can do well in contract work. Other people in the work environment tend not to push them so hard socially because they're not likely to be around for that long. It can be a blessing if you don't want to be bothered.

I have been doing contract work -- off and on -- for 6 years now. It's definitely been a blessing (for me) as:
1. I can focus on just doing the work. I do have to interact with others. But, when doing so, it's always about the work. And, I do not mind interacting with others when it's about a focused topic that is work-related.
2. I do not feel that others are taking advantage of me. I get paid by the hour. If they need me to do a task, and the task is something I feel competent in, I will do that task. If they need me to work a bit more, that's OK (as I am getting paid).
3. I do not get involved in the political/social aspects of the workplace. I have no interests or understanding of why things happen.

The only downside is finding new work. Fortunately, most of my contracts have been longer term. Which is a good thing as I am awful at “networking”.



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20 Apr 2015, 8:57 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I cope by doing my work, making myself indispensable, so it wouldn't be worth it for them to fire me because I'm weird.

How do you make yourself indispensable? I've seen that advice before, but I have no idea how people go about doing that in practice.


jk1 wrote:
I think my life is being ruined by my autism. I have no chance of moving up the ladder. I'm disliked by most people because "being disliked" is in itself a good reason for more people to dislike me even if they don't know me. That's how my life has always been. As a result I developed a fear of people. I've lost motivation because the "social side" of work (hostility, ostracism etc) makes it impossible for me to function in a workplace. It's frustrating that less intelligent people are in a better position because they are good at jokes and banter.

I have some science and software background but I'm no longer motivated. You need at least some degree of "people skills" to succeed in any field.

jk1, I think it's far more accurate to say that NTs are ruining your life. The problem isn't that we have a disorder, it's how our different way of being makes them treat us.
And while that doesn't help us, that's still a big difference in my book.
There is a lot of truth to what Tony Attwood says. We don't suffer from Asperger's, we suffer from other people (read: NTs).


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20 Apr 2015, 9:50 am

I can't see myself doing contract work. Don't you need good social and executive functioning skills to gain and keep clients and keep your business organized and running? You just can't mess up the large amount paperwork for the government. If you do well enough that you can afford to hire someone to help you with the paperwork you need real excellent people reading skills so you don't hire someone who will rip you off.

I understand the appeal of contract work and how bad large cooperate organizations are but I am baffled by the widespread idea that contract work is a panacea for Autistics.


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20 Apr 2015, 10:46 am

Skilpadde wrote:
How do you make yourself indispensable? I've seen that advice before, but I have no idea how people go about doing that in practice.


The easiest way is to learn how to write well. Good writers are invaluable--managers and leaders are always looking for people who can come up with just the right words to say. And, if you are the shy aspie type who doesn't mind being in the background and letting others get the credit, so much the better. And, the more ideas you can give away, the better.

The hardest way is to take on those tough jobs nobody else wants to do, but if you happen to be a gifted aspie, or have some weird or unusual talent, it might not be so hard. But, you have to be careful. You don't want to work too hard, or get all the really bad jobs. In some jobs, the other employees will find a way to get rid of you if you raise the bar.



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20 Apr 2015, 11:19 am

Thanks for the advice, BTDT! I appreciate it


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LillyDale
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20 Apr 2015, 3:51 pm

There is something to the notion of being the "contract" person in a workplace, or a similar situation.

I worked some contract jobs many years ago and I did appreciate that I was the odd person out and nobody cared what I was up to. It is just that the contract person isn't part of the office in the eyes of all the NT people so they usually don't bother to get to know the contract person. It also means people don't pry into your personal life, invite you to every birthday cake break in the building etc. So in a way those kinds of work situations were much more easy to deal with than people insisting they needed to interact with me and poke into my personal life.

My current work is done almost completely online (no face to face or phones). It does help that most of the people I work with are already a bit geeky or scientifically inclined so interactions are usually easy to deal with.

Jobs that require lots of solitude can be hard to fill with NT people who get bored or lonely. If the work itself is something you can enjoy doing the solitude factor can be something in your favor.



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21 Apr 2015, 7:00 am

Skilpadde wrote:
jk1 wrote:
I think my life is being ruined by my autism. I have no chance of moving up the ladder. I'm disliked by most people because "being disliked" is in itself a good reason for more people to dislike me even if they don't know me. That's how my life has always been. As a result I developed a fear of people. I've lost motivation because the "social side" of work (hostility, ostracism etc) makes it impossible for me to function in a workplace. It's frustrating tha t less intelligent people are in a better position because they are good at jokes and banter.

I have some science and software background but I'm no longer motivated. You need at least some degree of "people skills" to succeed in any field.

jk1, I think it's far more accurate to say that NTs are ruining your life. The problem isn't that we have a disorder, it's how our different way of being makes them treat us.
And while that doesn't help us, that's still a big difference in my book.
There is a lot of truth to what Tony Attwood says. We don't suffer from Asperger's, we suffer from other people (read: NTs).

Thank you, Skilpadde, for reminding me of that. Yes, that's very true. It's my bad habit of blaming myself for what is not my fault. For the last few years I've been aware that I've always been a good person. But many years of being treated badly by many people for being weird/serious has got me so used to feeling like a bad person that I sometimes can't help falsely feeling guilty about unfair treatment that I sometimes receive. I really have to stop that.



elysian1969
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22 Apr 2015, 2:02 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I cope by doing my work, making myself indispensable, so it wouldn't be worth it for them to fire me because I'm weird.

I also, superficially, act "social." I listen to what people say, and I respond (mostly in clichés).

I have, over the years, taken on a "court jester" persona. People accept me, even though they find me vaguely "weird."

I don't disclose that I have an autism spectrum disorder.


Right on. I've been at the same place for 15 years, and have been in various automotive positions for the past 25+ years. I hate playing politics, but I do enjoy the technical aspects of things automotive which most people don't- so I'm the one they track down when they want to know if part X is available for vehicle Y, and so forth. I can tell you all kinds of boring stuff like what oil viscosity numbers and tire sizes mean. But somebody has to...

Make yourself as indispensable as you possibly can, endear yourself to the high honchos, and many, many eccentricities and quirks will be tolerated.

I have never, ever told a co-worker that I have an ASD. They do not need to know. They just know I have a twisted sense of humor and a vast store of obscure knowledge.
:heart: :skull:


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03 Jun 2015, 10:50 pm

There are a lot ways to go about dealing with workplace environment. It is finding what works best for you and your situation.

1. First and foremost be yourself.
2. Be confidant, kind, and understanding.
3. Be assertive but not aggressive.
4. Foster cooperation and relationship building.
5. Pay attention to and adhere to the social contract.

I've only had three jobs and a lot of volunteer experience. I warm up slowly to people and am distrustful of others. So being around people all the time at work is difficult. I'm quiet and tend to work on my own. However, once I get comfortable, I am myself. I did really well as a volunteer. I was comfortable and could be myself. Disclosing my autism and other disorders depends on the situation. It has to be relevant to performing my duties or the social moral of employees like stopping bullying. I also base it on how the person would likely react.

My three jobs were student jobs at my university. My employers knew I was a hard worker based on my grades and references. My first job was a supplemental instruction leader. You are rehired every fall/spring semester. I was hired for four semesters. It made me realize that despite my issues, I was a good employee. I was valued.

As a supplemental instruction leader I went to class with 22-24 freshman, acted as a role model student, and facilitated supplemental instruction sessions. The environment was laid back; you could goof off. My relationship with one of my supervisors was good but difficult. We got along but she would treat me like a child at times. I have a close relationship with my other supervisor. I really opened up to her; I told her stuff I rarely tell people. She became a mentor. As a book floor employee, I shelved books, hung shelf tags, helped customers among other duties. My supervisor was great but the rest were unpleasant and sticklers for the rules. I focused on my job and getting through the day. The environment didn't allow for relaxation and goofing off. One of the book floor leads was mean and unpleasant. When I left, I got the impression that it had been tough love. As a tutor, I did really well; the environment was laid back. You could goof off and do your homework when not tutoring. I thrived and will miss it greatly.

I feel like I was protected to some extent by the fact my jobs were student jobs. I didn't experience a lot of the workplace discrimination, bullying, etc. At the same time, to have such a great experience for my first few jobs is great. So many people don't get that experience, especially those on the spectrum.


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