Doing basic tasks

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Does anyone have trouble completing certain normal daily tasks? Like self care and things like grocery shopping. I can do these things but it is difficult and I am not sure why. I want to do these things but its like someone put an wall or river in my way and I have to figure out a way over or around it. That takes a lot of energy so most of the time I will not do the task until I can find the energy or have enough incentive. Like having nothing to eat before I do it.

I been blaming this problem on my depression but I have these problems even when I am not. I then blame myself for lack of motivation and being lazy. But I feel there is something else going on.

As a disclaimer I have not been diagnosed with ASD. I have a appointment in two weeks to get evaluated for it. Just want some input to see if anyone understands what I am saying. My therapist doesn't get it when I try telling her.

The tasks take energy. But I maintain a certain rhythm for my tasks. For example vacuuming on fridays or Saterdays, bathroom cleaning on saturday or sunday, every two weeks cleaning the floor, etc. When I deviate from that rhythm it becomes much more difficult.

I also use an advanced tasklist to keep track of my tasks. For example cleaning the windows does not have to be done weekly, but every few months. So that is on that list. Also other actions like my financial administration are on that list. Marking things done on the list gives a certain satisfaction.

Structuring the tasks made it a lot easier from me, somehow the structure generates energy. Sometimes I let go of the structure and then the house becomes messy and things start to take a lot more time consuming.

This sounds like an "executive function" problem. You know how to grocery shop, but it's hard to start and finish unless motivation becomes dire. Not only is starting and completing hard, but decision making (which bread to buy?) can be a problem.

Many of us have issues like this.

Executive dsyfunction. I think this is the most challenging and disabling part of Asperger's for me, far worse than the social deficits or sensory related issues. I struggle to understand it, I and I still don't even know exactly what aspects I struggle with or why, and as a result I have had little success in overcoming this problem.

Yes, I have this problem :-/

Problems with executive function are not unique to autism. Various types of head injury and neurological diseases can also cause issues with this, and I think it is also seen in ADHD. I'm only mentioning this because a couple folks have said they are not diagnosed or probable autistics. Your problem with this is still real. And strategies that work for those other causes may help you, too. Things like lists, alarms and alerts on your cell phone, and enlisting a helper can be just as valid for anybody with exec function problems.

As an Aspie, my greatest challenges are tying my shoes and anything that has to do with a motor skill. It is a great struggle just for me to be able to take the time to properly get the shoelaces in a tight position. I have an easier time trying to have sex wth a partner than attempting to tie shoelaces. Brushing my teeth without going overboard on the toothpaste and having it land all over the sink is another basic task that I just seem to have a hard time with. I'm worse at flossing my own teeth and keeping my nails trimmed properly. I have to drive by my own mother's house and have her cut my nails for me, especially my toenails.

If you know how to do the task but can't do it, it seems to be a problem in motivation.
Some people with ADHD have extreme difficulty with this.
They know exactly how to do something, but they can't bring themselves to do, because they don't have enough motivation to act.

Alternatively, other people have motivation to act, but don't know how to do the task, as they can't plan the steps in their minds, or hold enough information in working memory required for the task, or keep track of changes during the steps to do the task without incident.

But your description seems more like motivational problem, like you have to climb to the top of a huge hill to do a simple task on the other side, but it takes too much energy to go to the top of the hill, so the task is not done.

I'm not too sure about the use of the term "motivation," btbnnyr. The problem seems to me to be a problem with initiation of an action. That's a more specific cognitive issue, and it avoids the value-judgment that sometimes accompanies the term "motivation." As in "you're just not motivated, if you wanted it enough you could do it."

I have this same issue on a regular basis. I echo the comments about keeping lists and having a pattern - both work for me. I also find that an intervening activity sometimes helps me get "unstuck." For example, say I am returning emails and then want to switch to writing something, but am running into a barrier. I might take out my cell phone and spend a few minutes reading news headlines that have nothing to do with what I was working on. When I put the phone away, the writing task is suddenly much easier to start. I find that some activities are particularly useful as "transitions." On a bad day I might find myself scanning the same headlines for a second or third time trying to keep myself moving.

Sometimes I reach the point where everything is difficult and nothing works. This tends to happen later in the day, and usually means that I am better off quitting and cocooning until bedtime.

I have major problems with executive functioning, but they can be different from what those with ADHD tend to experience.

I do have problems with motivation/initiation. Not because I am lazy, but often because I don't feel like doing something, or as if I am able to do something, for some specific reason.

Reasons (in order of frequency):

1. Fear: if I am anxious about doing something, I will put it off until I can deal with the anxiety.
2. Indecision: I have to be sure how I will do something and whether or not I should do it before I can bring myself to do anything about it. This is more difficult than you would think, because there are so many things that I feel I have to consider to come to a decision, regardless of whether it's practical to consider them or not.
3. Obsessions: I get preoccupied and can't bring myself to stop what I'm doing.
4. Just generally not feeling like putting in the effort: Yes, this one is usually just laziness. It's also often a result of being in a terrible mood.