Can't Have Conversations

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I'm feeling very lonely for conversation. I don't know exactly how to put this, but I know a lot of things. Not only am I college-educated, but I have always had a very good memory for facts and trivia. Also, I enjoy documentaries, TED talks, etc. I like to learn new things.
You might expect (or maybe you wouldn't) that this would make me a better conversationalist, but it doesn't. My sense is that people consider me a know-it-all or a show-off. Whenever I try to share any information - no matter how tactful or helpful I try to be - people seem to be turned off by me. On Facebook, people ignore any comment I make that contains information. My family members seem equally uninterested.
I am not one of those people who monologue endlessly. I only make comments that are relevant to the topic being discussed. I am rarely argumentative, though I sometimes get the impression that people think I'm trying to argue with them. No one seems to understand the concept of agreeable disagreement.
I feel starved for meaningful, intelligent conversation. Often, the best part of my day is washing dishes while listening to NPR. It makes me melancholy.
Can anyone here relate to this?

You certainly do a pretty good job here.

It'll come. Don't force it.

You're living your life as you see fit.

The conversations will come.

Thank you. WP is really the only place I ever find people discussing topics in which I'm interested.

WP is closer to actual conversations than FB.

You're probably doing something very small wrong in verbal conversations that's putting people off. What you said doesn't sound like a problem to me. I've known lots of know it alls and fact givers and never heard anyone complain about their conversation skills. But maybe I've been hanging around the trivia bars too much.

Small things that could go wrong in conversations could be anything from doing something distracting when people talk, like tapping a finger or foot, which another person could take as disinterest, to looking at the wrong part of a person's face, like at their mouth the entire time. It could be lots of things. Or your facts could not seem to relate to what they're talking about, although it seems obvious to YOU that they relate.

The best way to find out what's going on is to get a third person to observe a conversation that you think is going wrong. If you have a sense that your conversations are falling flat, that's really a great sign. It means that you'll be able to work on it and see the difference when it improves.

This.

Also, speaking from my own personal experience, grasping the emotional and social context of what someone is talking about, and being able to relate and build an experience, one that you share with the person you're talking to, rather then dabbling in abstractions(which I'd rather do) or reflecting deeply about fascinating and profound perspectives/facets of the nuances they're talking about(which I'd also rather do), really really helps.

But in the end... I think, as SocOfAutism hit it on the head. It's probably something very small you're doing, and it may not even be the words coming out of your mouth, but rather, by your tone, body language, or mannerisms that, while they may not be terrible or anything, however may be distracting or throw someone off in a way that they won't know how to react and salvage that interaction with you, and thus killing what could have been great dialogue.

I hope I made sense lol, my grammar is terrible and words don't come easily to me.

Perhaps people are not interested in the topics you are interested in.
Perhaps it is your speaking characteristics, but if others don't respond to your writing either, it is something else about your delivery.
Is your delivery too factual?
Many people find factual things boring.
The same content could be made more interesting to others in an interesting context or through interesting delivery.

My experience has been that any disagreement, agreeable or otherwise, is still considered an argument. It has taken me 42 years to figure this out, but I live in my head. It is my place of solitude. I do a lot of thinking when I'm there and come up with a lot of solutions to the world's problems. Unfortunately, I can't always fully test my "arguments" in my head. Sometimes I venture out into the real world to bounce them off people. They don't usually care for it. Instead of realizing that my topic is unwanted, I tend to press harder for a response. My mistake. It doesn't help that my political and religious beliefs (my 2 favorite topics) are not your typical mainstream platforms. They don't care what kind of irrefutable evidence I present in support of my position. They just want me to keep my mouth shut and go with the flow.

It helps me to dumb down when I socialize. Don't be your best. I just let my flaws hang out like it is all I can do. If you are always correct, you place yourself in an authoritive position and it is no fun for them having a cop in the room. Hold the correct answer for them to figure out or to never get it and enjoy wondering. This is very difficult to hold your tongue when you know the answer. I get so excited when I know the answer and I want to jump up and down saying, "Lookit me, lookit me, lookit me, I know this one!" Don't do it. Play dumb. Make as many mistakes as they do. Suffer the incorrect view of yourself that they need to feel as ease with you. Either that, or hang out with smarter people than yourself. It sounds like you think you are smarter than everybody so there is probably some disrespect seeping out. You need to join rather than look down upon.

I admire people who know they're smarter than everyone around them and can afford to let it show without getting beaten up.

I've done this before, but the older I get the less patience I have for it. There's little satisfaction in playing a character just for the sake of human interaction.



In certain areas and in certain ways, I am smarter (or at least more knowledgeable) than almost everyone I know. I miss the presence of intellectually-stimulating people in my life, which I had in my younger years.

How did you lose it?

You should try post graduate studies, investigation, congress, or that kind of things where you can meet more challenging people.

I can totally relate to this ^
I can't even if I try. It comes off obviously fake.
I played characters for so long I barely know myself now.

A number of ways. A divorce in which several of my friends sided with my charming, abusive ex, who took them all out to dinner while I was too traumatized to socialize. The gradual drifting away of college buddies after graduation. And finally, my decision to be an at-home parent, which has been good for the kids (I think?!) but very isolating for me.

Yes, I've been through that. It helped me to write lists of things I liked and didn't like. The hardest part was giving myself permission to acknowledge my true thoughts and opinions. I'd become too accustomed to being a social chameleon - I didn't know what "color" I actually was, anymore!

Yeah. I hid myself for so long I do it automatically. I often don't even consider what I would actually like.