What to expect with with aspegers/High Functioning Autism? M

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I self diagnosed my self with aspergers/high functioning autism a few years back. I have nearly all symptoms. Ever since then my life has been different and learning that has made me see my life in a different way. It's been hard knowing my life has been wrong and so different than I was led to believe. By the time I found out my mom had passed away and I was living alone. There was nobody to help me through this.

I grew up mostly good but really rough. I went through a lot of traumatizing stuff.We lived in poverty and we always moved a lot. My dad divorced and left when I was 5. I still see him once and while and are we fairly close. I didn't have many friends and had trouble making them. I only had 2 good friends in high school. Not anymore. Now I hang out with an older couple in their 50s and drink with them.

When I was 19 after my mom died I tried what I thought was cannabis but instead it was spice. That began my addiction for the next few years. This killed the social side of me. It was horrible. Eventually I quit and moved on to alchol and smoke cannabis regularly. The spice had really done a number on me. I believe I have developed a mild form of schitzophriena. I get all the mild symptoms. This has been making my life all sorts of craxy. I also believe to be of high intelligence .130 plus. I believe this helps me fend of the delusions and and weird stuff that happens to me. Now I don't talk much or do much. Just work and video games. I always wanted to fall in love but I doubt that will happen. If it did I don't know if I could handle it or handle kids. The older I get the more I am fine with single life.

Anyways just wanna know what people think. What can I expect in life and will it get easier?

Sorry to hear about your mother and the divorce. My parents divorced when I was 5 also, but we at least had a nice house in the suburbs.

Every Aspie is different, so I think it just depends on which symptoms give you the hardest time. For me personally it is not knowing how to act correctly in social situations.

Also a lot of times anxiety and depression go hand in hand with being an aspie, so if you start seeing yourself slipping into that get some help.

Good luck, it sounds like you have a fighting spirit overcoming what you have had to deal with so far.

“It's been hard knowing my life has been wrong and so different than I was led to believe.”
What makes you think your life has been “wrong”? Yes, a load of s**t has happened, being an Aspie doesn’t help, but, from what you say, it hasn’t caused the s**t. Poverty and moving about is hard for anyone and it truly f***s you up, but it doesn’t make your life “wrong”. Being an Aspie doesn’t make you or your life wrong either. You are different, you are not wrong.
Other people have things you don’t have – social skills, motivation… whatever your spectrum denies you. That’s how it is and no amount of wishing, or medicine, or talking to counsellors is going to make it otherwise. But your spectrum may also give you things that others don’t have. You may be able to understand things with ease that other’s struggle with. You may be able to “see” things that others just don’t see, or don’t recognise. You may have a strong spatial awareness, or some other gift that comes from the unique way your brain works. The tragedy is that many of us don’t find out what these gifts are until it is too late to really make use of them – and worse, some people never find out what they are. You believe you have high intelligence, not much valued in your country, but hay, make it work for you.

Drugs, alcohol, video games help make it bearable, but they don’t lead anywhere, and the first two are poison. The addiction is just another form of s**t that f***s you up. Schizophrenia is poison too, hard to deal with – get help.

What can you expect in life? More of the same unless you change it. Will it get easier? Depends how you change it.

Bald-Accountant is right. Every Aspie is different. It just depends on which symptoms give you the hardest time. But don’t dwell on what’s “wrong”; find out what’s right. Anxiety, depression, schizophrenia? get some help.

Good luck from me to. If I believed in God, I’d pray for you.

OP, it sounds like you are suffering. Yes, things can get better. The only things that have helped me so far are getting properly diagnosed (not just for ASD, but also for my depression/anxiety) and some proper care (meds and therapy). If you are truly in Wyoming, it's a tough place to find support I'm sure. But things can certainly get better. I echo the sentiment that drugs/alcohol only hurt and don't help - I know I self-medicated for years. But it didn't really help.

See if you can find some support groups, and if you can get some access to a caregiver. And at 23, life is pretty damn tough anyway. As you get older, things can get substantially easier as you get more experiences under your belt I think they help one handle what life puts in front of us. best of luck.