Ever had Psych talk you about Social Mask?

Post Reply New Topic

My old doctor said I frightened people because I would lower my "social Mask" too quickly when I met someone.

I wanted to say " But I don't wear a mask" but I tried to go along and think it thru. Now I've discovered aspergers. Theres where my social mask ISNT.

Ever been talked to or are you familiar with this term?

yes, I am really interested in understanding how to use social masks effectively. I think what the mask is a personality character, say you might speak to someone in your local store differently to someone who is a friend of the family perhaps? or someone of different age to you, depends on things like age of person you're talking with, location, circumstance of conversation

I actually used this to my advantage when I was a music journalist. When I'd interview a band, I'd usually have about an hour with them, so I had to drop the mask thing quickly - and get them to do the same - if I wanted to get some really good stuff out of the interview. But then, I think most musicians aren't NT anyhow, so they're far more ready to do things so-called "normal" people might find uncomfortable.

Actually anyone I've been close to is someone I've lowered my social mask around quickly and they've accepted that. I think it's boring to talk to people when you know they're being superficial and I won't spend a lot of time getting to know someone like that.

Maybe that's why I always score on the lower end of the Aspie tests online - I actually like parties and social events, and say so in my responses. But that's because usually I'll find the one or two people in the crowd who are equally bored by superficiality and immediately get embroiled in a deep conversation that leaves out everyone else in the room. And, uh, from what I've gathered, that is not typical behavior.
-J.

I never had a psych talk to me about that but I knew the spanish teacher at my school whom I got acquianted well enough with who mentioned that. She said most people in highschool have a mask which is very true or just life in general. Ive seen 1st hand the mask a person will put on. One of my friends will exchange a social interaction with the mask on and afterward he'll tell me what he really thought and what was really going on. The mask I now thinking back to an essay prompt I had to write is part of social graces, manners, and tactfulness well often. To be acceptable within society. With AS we dont get how to put that social mask so often were just ourselves. The thing with me, is that I have social anxiety and AS coexiting within me. So I its hard for me gauge what I should do and what I shouldnt do. Often I'll do many things Im not suppose to do and I wont do things that Im suppose to do. For the longest time, quietness and shyness was my social mask and often times it still is. But the hestitency with talking had faded tremendously. So without my social anxiety, the bluntness of my AS is left with my interactions. Other then shyness, I dont know how to put on a social mask. So when Im not being quiet and hestitent, Im being blunt, sometimes rude, often saying things I shouldnt be saying. But the more that people tell me to stop and watch what I say, I'll revert back to my shyness. So its a really difficult thing for me. Truthfully Im a very reflective, conscience person but me communicating freely often involves my aspie traits which are hard for me to currently control.

Yep. I learned of social masks in middle school... from an ex-priest no less (talk about an example!) that taught 'ethics' class.


I think the closest analogy to social masks is the behavior of dogs. That is, if you ever had a dog in your family you will notice that the dog will behave one way towards you and a completely different way towards someone else in your family.

the good old 'I know I can get away with this if I wag my tail to this human but on that other human I need to use puppy eyes' behavioral switch.

Humans do the same thing. Social masks just mean that you behave differently depending on the person you're talking to. Its putting up an act to keep your 'character' consistent in the eyes of each different person.

People with AS usually stick to just 1 mask or have none at all... the 'naive' or 'innocent' tag comes along with it.

I treat young children the same way I treat adults but with some slight changes to my vocabulary.. so you could say I use a social mask when speaking to a child. But it is a very 'light' mask.. I will discuss issues or carry small conversations with a child the same way I do with adults (and fail just as miserably in conversation too). Kids like me more than other adults because I dont 'baby talk' them (my little cousin's own words actually) or treat them like they didn't know a thing about the world. I treat them like adults.

When I'm speaking with another adult though, I have no mask really. Me is me and thats what it is and its what they get to see. I've had people in the office try to 'catch' me behaving differently to someone else.. like a pretty girl or a superior .. as if I would kiss-ass them to get benefits or something (the concept of that is insulting really). But they don't because I treat the office jerk in the same nice way I treat the coolest co-worker.

I've long associated social masks with soap operas. Seems to me that people need to play their own little dramas on the 'bigger' soap opera of life... we're like the invisible supporting actors that just have one liners per episode

Yeah, I learned about social masks in therapy too.

Echo MsJ (except liking parties... lights and noises are offputting), and Dantac.

I had a social brick wall myself for a while. So it is pretty much either all or nothing with me. Thankfully I it is now nothing Much more exciting, especially what MsJ says about finding people who also lack a social mask. They're the most interesting people to talk to.

We all wear masks. We just have to be careful how people see it.

Not sure I follow the example. Normally I'm rather quiet and thoughtful. But when I'm around people in a social setting, I put on a mask of being humorous and out going. Drives The Missus up the wall. But I don't 'lower my mask' to interact with people.