Preventing meltdowns, or speaking before thinking

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I've recently been diagnosed with Asperger's, just a few weeks ago, and am still coming to terms with what it all means. I've yet to have a detailed report from the assessors, or any guidance about how to deal with my diagnosis and the various problems I face day to day.

I get pretty het up if my shower and daily routines are messed with, and this week, on Monday, the shower stopped working. I texted the landlord and he said he couldn't come until Wednesday to have a look at it. I had a meltdown, lost the plot completely, was crying, shouting and throwing things. Really upset me. My partner is struggling to deal with this, and has anxiety issues of his own to deal with.

Then Wednesday, the landlord said it would have to be Thursday before he came, made a time of 12.30. Now he's postponed til 4, and I got upset and angry again. Upset my partner as I was frustrated and angry. He says I don't think things through before speaking, and I don't, my problem is I don't think in words at all, I think in pictures, feelings, sounds, smells but no running monologue that can say "hang on, a minute, it's ok" before I start getting upset and shouty.

How can I stop, or postpone a meltdown, or pause my upset and anger? How can I train my brain to not react, but think things through logically first? It's getting really tense and anxious in my home, with my partner on edge with his problems, and me with mine. How can I make this work?

It's a challenge. Perhaps you and your partner can work on something to "distract" you when frustration sets in? This can be really hard to pull off "in the heat of the moment," but sometimes refocusing to something else is all that works for me. For instance, I was really depressed today over some moral issues, and I wanted to just lay down and make sad noises, but my husband distracted me by showing me a new video game to help clam me down and recenter. This is often called "redirection" in direct support professional jargon. Sometimes it can help with autism, too.

All I can think of for you right now. Hope it helps you and partner.

cannabis regularly throughout the day helps a bit and of course avoiding those circumstances that make you feel "overwhelmed" either with sensory or otherwise also helps... together, this minimizes meltdown. Also, a lot of cannabis, regularly will make you more sociable and friendly, especially with other cannabis consumers

I think my main problem is that when I do meltdown, it's so quick that it happens before I can think to control it. It's too late to start something to calm me down as it's happened. It's a sudden, frustrated, angry outburst. I can't control it once it starts and I was looking for a way to stop it before it starts, if possible, or a way to calm it as soon as it starts.

Cannabis is not legal in the UK.

Perhaps you can make a list of things/ symptoms that a meltdown is coming on. In this way you will be more aware of the signs. When you see a difficult situation ahead of you, try to remove yourself immediately, like pausing a game. Go in a different room, brainstorm the different outcomes and possible ways to deal with each.

When I get upset it's because I don't see a way out of a situation. So something like this is helpful for me.

Also, I understand and sympathize with your dilemma. My landlord took so long fixing our toilet and shower once, not to mention suggesting a family of 5 poop in a bucket for the time being, that I spoke very angrily toward him and almost got us kicked out. In my opinion, he was dead wrong but I probably could have handled myself better. Also, my partner was pissed that our landlord was yelling at him about me. What a mess.