Balding Prematurely
I thought about it for a while, and this seems to be the best place to post this.
So this isn't quite a new issue in my life, I was told as far back as the age of fourteen that I was beginning to get classic male pattern baldness, but it seems to be getting even more noticeable lately. I'm not even nineteen yet and my hair is already starting to thin and seemingly disappear. The classic patch on the back of my head is getting more and more bare: with only thin, unhealthy looking hair scattered across and around the spot. Additionally the hair near my temples and forehead has gotten much thinner in the past year or so. My hair used to be somewhat thick and curly, but now it's thin and stiff. At one point I thought the hair around my temples was getting significantly lighter, but I soon realized that it was merely my white skin showing though the thinning hair. No one has really pointed it out to me in quite a while, but I feel awkward knowing how it looks. When I was sixteen I was mistaken as a graduate student on more than one occasion, and my hair had more than a little to do with that confusion. I'm not looking forward to seeing how much worse my balding is going to get, but I'm also fairly sure that there is nothing I can do to prevent my the deterioration of my hair. Does anyone have any advice for someone who is already noticeably balding at my age? Am I wrong to think that it's something I should be concerned about? I'm the only one I've met my age that has balding anywhere near as noticeable as my own, so I'm worried about how other people may perceive me.
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And all the ones who seem to fit the best into the chorus never notice there?s a song, and the ones who seem to hear it end up tortured by the chords when they fail to find a way to sing along.
And when you sing the wrong thing it all starts collapsing.
I started going bald in my 20's. I thought it was because I used to straighten my hair, but since my other brothers went bald, I figured it's just male pattern baldness. I generally keep my hair cut short so the baldness isn't so noticed. Nothing else I can do about it. Rogaine is expensive and doesn't work anyway.
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One Day At A Time.
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So: You either accept a future of ceaseless worrying about how your hair-loss affects your public 'image', spend large sums of money on 'cures' that never work (scare-quotes on 'cure' because baldness isn't an illness or a disease, so the concept of 'curing' it is irrelevant), buy a toupee, save up for a hair transplant (which might be rejected and is very pricey anyway), adopt varying strategies of tonsorial concealment which as you age ultimately end up by taking the form of the dreaded comb-over...
...or ...
Get rid.
Yes, you heard. Get rid of it all. Without mercy. Destroy it,
Shaven headedness is now quite a common reaction adopted by balding men, but is still not so widely-practised that it doesn't appear a bit 'edgy' and 'daring', particularly when accompanied by certain styles of dress (n.b., the shaved-head look is not automatically associated with physical aggression (although some such individuals certainly do adopt that style), but -- like the crewcut and suedehead before it -- the shaved head indicates a certain 'f**k you' quality of attitude in the owner, marking them out as individuals to whom hair is an irrelevant frippery at best, and has therefore been actively disposed of).
What's more, shaved heads are widely perceived as sexually-attractive by a large number of men and women, to the extent that I suspect it deserves classification as a specific variety of sexual fetish. So if you're worried about your sex-appeal dwindling as your hair disappears, there is a whole new highly-appreciative social market to which you can adjust yourself!
Do it. Go on, Do it.
Get drunk to pluck up the necessary courage for this bold step.
Give your scalp one last thorough shampooing (you'll never have to waste money on hair-care products again!)
Rip open a fresh multi-pack of Bic "Blue II"s.
Position yourself before the bathroom mirror and begin.
It will feel strange at first, like some peculiar form of self-harm.
But as more and more hair falls away, the process will feel increasingly liberating.
(You might even, if you're a Di Nero fan, give yourself a temporary Mohican and address your reflection by saying: "You talkin' to me?")
Until, finally, you are left with a sink-full of discarded hair and a closely-shaved skull.
Give it a stroke -- it is a strangely-sensuous experience.
Then apply aftershave balm and moisturiser (this skin has probably not seen the light of day since you were a baby, and will be unused to being shaved).
And then go to bed.
When you wake up the next morning, the first thing you will be aware of is how you can perceive the texture of the pillowcase against your temple.
There then follows a period of sober examination of your new cranial appearance, which you will not immediately get used to.
But at some stage -- whether to go to work, or to go out to buy milk and bread -- you will have to expose your new look to the world.
And the rest is merely further stages along the great social adventure of being deliberately and totally bald, which I shall leave to you to explore and enjoy.
My only advice on the subject would be to remember to apply sunblock during the first few summers, until your newly-exposed scalp has become sufficiently weathered, and to invest in a woolly cap for the winter, as the cold can strike very directly through the skull.
Have fun and good luck.
I am a little late to this one but I have to agree with CharityFunDay.
I really started losing my hair at 17. I found it very stressful even though, like you, no one really mentioned it. I just knew it. I finally gave up fighting it at around 20 or so.
Cut it off.
The maintenance is so much less, you will be amazed at how much time you save. And if that is your picture then I think you could definitely pull it off. Glasses help, IMO, as well as facial hair if you can make it work.
Free yourself from the worry.
Cheers!
As a bit of an update on this: I did shave my head. I started it near the beginning of the month and I've been shaving every two or three days since. I'm not very good at shaving the back of my head yet, so I constantly have some unsightly razor burn all over the back. I'm getting better at reducing the razor burn, though, and tomorrow will be the first day I shave with a Head Blade product, which I'm hoping will help deliver a smoother shave anyway. The first time I shaved I wasn't sure of how I felt about the look, but it has grown on me. Personally I think the shaved head looks best when balanced with some facial hair, at least in my case, and it is a lot easier to deal with despite the razor burn. Overall I'm pretty satisfied with my decision to shave my head, though I do notice that I get strange looks even more frequently. I'd like to attribute those looks more to the razor burn and cuts than just the fact that my head is shaved.
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And all the ones who seem to fit the best into the chorus never notice there?s a song, and the ones who seem to hear it end up tortured by the chords when they fail to find a way to sing along.
And when you sing the wrong thing it all starts collapsing.
Opi
Velociraptor
Joined: 23 Aug 2013
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 401
Location: East coast at the moment
shaved heads can be very, very sexy. my ex used to shave his for the same reason and i loved running my hands over his head.
i had a friend whose husband was completely bald just on top. he was very comfortable with himself and sometimes he would wear a toupee and sometimes he wouldn't. he treated it like an accessory. he's the only guy i've ever met who had hair loss and wasn't insecure about it and that was very, very sexy as well. he was about 30.
i dated a guy back in my early 20's who was 21 or 22 and was almost completely bald. i haven't seen it a lot in youngsters but i don't think it's a question of a health concern, although you might want to get some blood work and make sure all your vitamins and minerals and so forth are within healthy limits.
also my best friend (female) in junior high was completely salt and pepper before she was 15. similar insecurities raised. funny i just realized we never talked about coloring it. simply didn't occur to me and maybe her parents wouldn't let her. back in the 70's coloring your hair especially at home wasn't as common as it is today.
i went almost completely silver in my 30's (you can't tell from the picture because my bangs are a little darker than the rest of my head) and choose not to color it because i don't like the chemicals. i know that has nothing to do with your question, i'm just rambling
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@AGhostWrite:
"... constantly have some unsightly razor burn all over the back. ¨
I use an electrical razor with a plastic snooze on it set to 2mm or so - it prefends the blades actually touching my skin so I would get skin problems.
"... The first time I shaved I wasn't sure of how I felt about the look, but it has grown on me. "
yeah, takes some time to get used to it, but it gave me a 'clear & clean' feeling and it's easy to maintain yourself
".... though I do notice that I get strange looks even more frequently. ..."
I only got somewhat skinny on the forehead in my late 20s, maybe early but accepted.
Being yough and having a skinny head is somewhat uncommon - not all shave their heads at such early age for the same reason.
.. if you feel people are wondering about you, then maybe you haven't given them enough clues to get their minds settled. Take care of dressing, go 'shopping' during quite hours and tell the lady you'r just wondering around (not buying) and ask 'how to dress´, you'll get a pretty nice impression how people perceiving you after a few shops
I started balding in my early 20's. You've done the right thing shaving it. I'm glad I did.
For maintenance, I use a standard rotary electric shaver. ( the type with the three circular blades). Keep it clean and the blades will last a year.
I also have a cheap set of Wahl Hair Clippers, for when I forget to shave for a few days. This reduces the length back own to something manageable with the shaver.
Once you're using the shaver every day or two, your head will get used to it and you won't get irritation etc.
And think of all the money you'll save on haircuts, shampoo etc.
My hair started balding a couple years ago, and has continued. Widow's Peak, I believe I've got.
Runs on my father's side, and there's nothing I can do about it. I may be the dead ringer to my "lovely" father, but I'm glad I didn't inherit any "quirks" of his brain.
It seems like I've got more hair on my face than I do on my head at the moment
Before it started to thin, I was able to straighten it (not always) and it looked cool.
Now, I have some sort of lovely comb-over going on whilst it gets as long as it'll ever get.
My urban environment, conditions and stress hardly help. To be fair, I'd rather have my hair go completely, then go grey like my brothers (who is also on the spectrum).
I'm almost 24 and I'm getting there. I let my hair grow out and I do what I can to cut it evenly, if I go buzz cut, it REALLY shows.
It's going to go. You can't stop it. You can slow it by reducing the stress in your life. It sucks, it really does, but it's something that just happens to men unfortunately.
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If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.
Welcome to the club!
Yeah, mine started going at nineteen. I was into metal in the eighties and had grown my hair long.
At some point I caught site of my bold spot in the mirror and got a bit of a shock, lol. In the barbers I pointed to a picture of sting and said "like that!". The barber laughed and said "I can cut your hair, but I can't make you look like sting!". Am 40 now and have been cropping it short with clippers for years.
I did try and do some stuff with my hair before I was too bald, then at about 25 I kissed goodbye to the remnants of my green mohican. Probably not a bad thing I was irritated at the time though.
I have however managed to maintain my individuality with a signiture beard; a sort of moustache, goaty and sideburns that all meet up. Much to my dismay beards have been "trendy" of late, but I'm not giving up my beard for anyone! :p
It's alright, your hair will all grow back, just in different places... My hairline started receded and I started balding right around 14 as well. And now that I'm a crusty old Irishman who doesn't even have gray hair on top of his head anymore, I do miss having a full head of hair and a crimson beard, but oh well. It's really not as uncommon as you'd think, and you don't have to have a full head of hair to look robust and attractive. I can tell you from personal experience that some women even find bald men sexy.
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There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance.
Nahj ul-Balāgha by Ali bin Abu-Talib
And none of those women find a comb over sexy, so just let it go
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If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.