Excited yet scared to live on my own in my own place.

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Right now, I'm living in a nursing home and I hate it. There's at least 200 mentally ill people living there and they irritate the hell out of me! I can't wait to move out of there! I'm actually that much closer to doing so, really excited, yet scared. I'm afraid that I'm going to get too overwhelmed and stressed out about living on my own, doing everything on my own for the first time in my life. Anyone here feel that way? I'm also excited, though, because I'll have more freedom with no rules to follow and nobody to deal with. So I was wondering, what's it like living on your own? Is it stressful and overwhelming? Is it exciting? Let me know your thoughts.

It's not bad once you get used to it. While it seems like a lot at first, most of the chores (doing the laundry, picking up and taking out trash, etc) are actually small and can be done in under an hour, easy. The problem is letting it pile up until it seems like way too much to even start on.

Thanks, Canary. I guess one reply out of 137 isn't too bad. Anyone else care to reply?

If you have Executive Function Disorder (EFD) as a co-morbid, it can be overwhelming, and in that case you will need some help keeping up with stuff. As to being alone, though, I like that part of it. Unfortunately, I do suffer from EFD, so I do have to have some help, but I have been living alone for about 12 years now, and don't ever want to live with others again. Even when I lived with relatives, I kept mostly to myself, as I have always been a solitary sort of person. Interactions with relatives were always stressful, so once I was on my own most of that problem went away. Unfortunately, my health has gotten worse over the years, which makes it even harder to keep up with stuff than with just my EFD. When I first moved here I set a favorite CD to play quietly all night before going to bed for a couple of weeks, until I was used to being totally alone, but that was the only help I needed in adjusting to being totally alone. Being with other people is stressful for me, as I am a hermit type person, so being alone is great to me, even when my place is a mess because of the EFD and my health issues.

At the beginning it may be overwhelming, but after you set up some kind of structure, organize your space + paying bills + gather all essentials it will feel like pure bliss
I live with my daughter (share the week with her dad, my ex, so I get time alone too) and it's like the most peaceful, lovely little space for us both. We've got small animals and house plants here, the flat is not large, so it's easily manageable (that's very important to me because I couldn't handle a big house with a garden, it would drive me insane).
I'm only renting the place and I wish it could be my own, but I can't afford buying anything (maybe a shed haha).

I think you'll love living on your own. If you're excited, that's a good sign. Sure, there will be tough times, but you'll deal with each thing as it comes along. There are some suggestions I would make, based on my own experience, having moved out several times and now living on my own for some years:

1. See a nutritionist, preferably one who understands Asperger's Syndrome/Autism. Get them to help you craft an eating plan that you can stick to, that will include all the nutrients you need, so you don't develop deficiencies. This is something I wish I'd done because it has cost me my health trying to figure out what to eat/prepare/stock in a way that was sustainable. If you can sort out your food early on, it will save you a TON of bother, as eating is something that needs to be done every day.

2. Importantly, if you're living in a close community (e.g. flats or units), make sure your neighbours know about your autism. It really helps if they are understanding, because misunderstandings between neighbours can make life hell. Make sure they know if you don't like loud noises or certain smells, for example.

3. Get out of the house regularly, if possible, like, say, for a walk or a drive. It really helps clear the cobwebs and ease the feeling of being imprisoned, especially if you have social anxiety.

Personally, I'm not one of those people that fusses too much about cleanliness or vacuuming every week etc. When I notice the house looks dirty, I clean it. When the bins are full, I put them out. I keep a little diary with all my appointments and commitments, which helps keep track of bills etc. So all in all, it's not very hard. The hardest part has been missing friends and family who live far away. I always imagine there will be some grand future day when we'll all be together and life will be gorgeous again, but realistically, that's probably never going to happen. Thank God for the internet.

Anyway, like I said, I think you'll enjoy living on your own. It's very rewarding, especially in those moments when things are going well and you have some time to kick back and be yourself in your own space. Plus, you can walk around the house naked and do all the stupid dances you want! Good luck and let us know how you get on!

People here have given good advice. I am a 51 year old bachelor (born 1966), living on my own for several years now. I have a good job. I bought a 3 bedroom house, and I have several motor vehicles. I don't know your life situation, so the following might not apply to you, but here goes:

1. Go to Target, Wal-Mart, etc. and get a wall clock, a couple of wastebaskets, and perhaps an end table and a lamp for your TV room. The selection these stores have is usually not very wide, but it will give you a sense of ownership - you picked these things out because you like them. It will help you feel "at home". Thrift stores can have some nice things if you don't have a lot of money, but again, selection is limited, so it may take a while to find home furnishings that interest you.

2. I cannot FORCE myself to do things, and dirty dishes and clothing pile up from time to time. So if you get into a routine of cleaning, you can have a cleaner living space than I have.

3. Time management is another problem of mine. For saving time in the kitchen, I recommend simple meals. Stew, chili, etc. will give you enough food for a week (just put the leftover food in the refrigerator). You will also generate fewer dirty dishes than if you had cooked more complicated meals. Also, try to combine tasks - when the washing machine finishes up, it won't be using any more water - so you can take a shower while the dryer is drying your clothes.

4. You say you are currently in a nursing home. Do you need a caregiver to stop by from time to time? If you have the challenges of a physical disability, coordinate with your "support network" so you can have a great life in your new home.

5. I work at night, so certain tasks (physically going to the bank, dentist, auto parts store, etc.) must be done during daytime/business hours and I need to plan them. For groceries, 24-hour supermarkets exist in my town.

6. For paying bills, some sort of filing system can help you pay them on time and subtract them from your checkbook.

PLEASE let us know how things work out for you. We all wish you the best ! !

I live on my own and honestly it's amazing. Sure sometimes apartment living is garbage, but it's essentially about cleaning up around you and maintaining a clean environment so you can go about your life y'know?

It's helpful to have enough clothing so you can wash less frequently. I also recently started using paper plates and cups for less dishes to do. I don't go out much other than work, so my weekends are spent grocery shopping and cleaning and resting. The quiet is wonderful, decorating how I like it is wonderful and I highly recommend a cat! I agree, it's best to keep up with chores, don't let them pile up!

I was thinking this in the car after I posted the previous reply: one of the absolute best things is being in control of the temperature! So awesome to be toasty warm in the coldest of winter and crank the A/C in summer, or have the windows open to freshen the air, without anyone yelling at me for it.

Like someone said, letting the laundry, the mail, the garbage and the dishes pile up is what's the problem and it's easier not to let it pile up than it looks like.

I sometimes just wash 5 dishes and just do the others later. 5 more later, or 10 more, or whatever. Often, after washing 5 dishes, and telling myself that's it, I'm in the mood to do more.

If your place is low traffic you don't need to sweep and wash the floor every day. Garbage: you can wait till it's full unless it stinks.