Executive Function Issues

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My executive function has gone down the drain this past year. I have always have problems but now with a new house, son in Kindergarten, health problems and so on I am an absolute mess. I do not get much done at all and everything just exhausts me. I have to keep up house, manage my health, manage my hobbies and keep on top of my son's kindergarten homework. I feel like I am just chasing my tail. I have no idea where to start, how to prioritize, how much time to spend on anything. I just have no clue. I don't know how to handle it. I had an adult diagnosis so I never had any of the supports that other people may have had. I do not know where to seek help with this. Do any of you have any suggestions?

Many of us keep lists. I think the older Aspies such as myself still rely on hand written lists. Younger ones may use Apps.

I'm not very good in the "executive functioning" arena myself.

If your kid had all-day Kindergarten, it might be easier for you. That would give you time for a nap and to get the housework done. I know kids make messes, and they're sometimes hard to clean up.

Probably, keeping some sort of list, with target times, would help.

I keep lists as well but sometimes I even forget I made a list. It's not even so much as keeping the list but it's time management. Prioritization is also a problem as well. I also have a HUGE problem with estimating how long a task will take as I grossly underestimate.

If time is an issue, learning to do stuff "good enough" is a big help. For instance, you could easily spend twice as much time doing a really good job vacuuming the floor compared to "good enough." And, halfway between the times you vacuum, you really can't tell the difference between the two jobs...

Hi Hi

Sorry to hear that! I also have kids and was having some major problems. I was so happy to find Flylady . Google it! She has lists and everything and I've picked up a lot of cool ideas. (Warning though, if you do everything she says/read her entire website there will be burnout -she also likes to sell you things...) What I gathered from her were

Write a list for morning and evening routine. With flylady you start with one thing that you do for a week, clean the sink, and then add another for the next week until you are doing everything on your list. If you don't do this it's overwhelming so it's very important to go easy on yourself. In fact it's essential!

e.g. Full list of stuff that you can build up
morning
get up
coffee
make breakfast
clear breakfast
take meds
do washing up
have shower
Check calender
etc etc

Put the list/task for the week up where you can see it and always do in same order. At some stage you know when you've finished one thing what comes next hopefully. Also plan and time down time, or as close as you can get with a little kid! Maybe cartoon time.

As said before try not to get things perfect. How she does this is by using timers. When you need to clear the kitchen set the timer for 10 minutes. Or if you need to tidy a specific area. That way you don't get distracted into doing something else. -like I am now lol!- 10 minutes is better than nothing even if it's not ideal.

I also find it useful to set specific times for everything kids bedtime, dinner etc and always try to keep to it.

The problem comes when you have one off events, like around Christmas. In which case I often sit down and write what time I expect everything to happen and in what order. What time to leave house etc What I need... before I do it. Also an if......then....... on the schedule is useful.

Hope that helps! Goodluck

How about training the kid to help you keep track of stuff that needs to be done?

I was wondering if the issues were getting worse because of lack of sleep? When my kids weren't sleeping... Extra stress could also be a factor maybe.

You can put the list up somewhere visible if you have trouble remembering it, like on the refridgerator, mirror, or door.

You can time yourself doing a chore if you need that information for time management. Create a routine so that you do the same chore/errand at the same time on the same day, then you won't have to manage your time much. Just schedule 1 or 2 chores per day to start off with if you don't know how else to start. Then you can change things around if that doesn't work.

I don't have much advice but I really sympathise. I'm in the same boat exactly. I think having a full time job on top of it led to some burn out which made executive function, sensory integration and tolerance AND social skills and endurance muuuuch worse.

I resigned and it is a little better but I think having a little kid just equals mild to heavy burnout no matter what you do.

Everyone is different but I have a thing that seems to help me with exhaustion at least. I wear big bug eye polarised sunglasses even indoors and a very good pair of ear phones with rainstorm white noise while I work. This helps me A LOT. But my husband thinkw that I really look like I'm from the wrong planet. Ha ha.

I don't have severe sensory issues but having a little kid around just makes integration and gating that much worse. I need to block some of it out. I don't ever have it so loud that I can't hear him. That might be dangerous. Just loud enough to mute things a bit. Your senses are probably different but I think this is something to look into.