Being acquainted with trusted NTs
As we become older and wiser, we tend to become acquainted with trusted NTs. Becoming acquainted with trusted NTs familiar with AS/HFA is a plus!
Personally, I have a chance to sit-down and speak with such a trusted NT, and I will post my experiences in this discussion thread. A chance to "break the ice so to speak!"
Has anybody had similar and helpful experiences?
These days the only "trusted NT's" in my life are my niece and my boyfriend's mother, neither of whom I talk to very often.
Many years ago I had a close friend who was about 20 years older than me and probably NT, but who died about four or five years after I met her.
Thinking back about all the other close friends I've ever had, I think some were probably autistic and nearly all of them were probably neurodivergent in one way or another -- although I don't know for sure, because we all grew up in the era before such things were diagnosed.
My boyfriend was diagnosed with Asperger's symdrome back in 2001.
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Yeah: friendships with NT’s or other non-AS folks can be very rewarding, although often also frustrating! (I find semi-regular leadings through Graeco-Roman stoics helps keep my attitude constructive)
Not had lots of them though, and they’ve all been periodic.
My friend in my teens was later diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia: he had a very different way of relating to the world, simultaneously the gentlest human I’ve ever known and potentially also the most violent... we lost contact after he broke down completely and was sectioned. Swings and roundabouts.
In my twenties my main friend had bipolar disorder/manic depression: he was about twice my age, incredibly generous and kind, albeit very harsh in his moral judgements. Encouraged my interest in various things I should never have gotten into, but was also the one who put in the most effort to help me when I was breaking down. Swings and roundabouts again.
And now in my thirties it’s my wife, who is neurotypical and one of the most socially aware, empathic people out there (although she can’t ‘read’ me).
It’s not all sunshine and roses but definitely easier than the former two full-on friendships: I still shutdown regularly, but meltdowns have gradually become much less frequent. And I’ve managed to consistently earn at least some small amount of money: which is a first for me.
Conclusion: having someone in your life who’s prepared to break down and share how NT feels from the inside in clear terms is a great help in coping with the world as it is, if they recognise your capacity for logic and attention to detail and ask help with things they struggle to comprehend that also helps.
Hope you find a way of being with one or more NT’s that is a positive gain for all involved.
Presently, I've become acquainted with my arts-instructor from our local community-college who instructs adults with developmental disabilities e.g., the Autism Spectrum.
My acquaintance with my arts-instructor has offered opportunities (outside of class schedules) to discuss personal goals/concerns that are not arts-related. I've even received recommendations of specific people who might be helpful. At this time, specific action plans are preliminary, yet FINALLY promising!
My acquaintance with my arts-instructor has offered opportunities (outside of class schedules) to discuss personal goals/concerns that are not arts-related. I've even received recommendations of specific people who might be helpful. At this time, specific action plans are preliminary, yet FINALLY promising!
That sounds really positive!
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Teach51
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Forgive me for not being exactly on topic I am approaching this a a non-autistic with aspie/ autistic friends.
My first contact with autism was many years ago when I was hired to teach English to an 11year old boy on the spectrum. He is now 29 and we are firm friends. Through my intense desire to give him the best I could I researched and implemented many tools that I had learned or intuitively thought of. Today I am his closest confidante. Then, some years ago I discovered that a colleague and friend of mine has Aspergers. This is a very close relationship and I consider her to be a very close friend. I actually came to WP when she experienced burnout to see how I could help her.
That's 2.
Then a dating site brought me my aspie lover of 3 years, I have written about him in other threads.
That's 3
Finally I started teaching another young adult also on the spectrum, I have been teaching him for 2.5 years so far.
That's 4
I firmly believe in God and I often wonder why he has brought so many aspies into my heart and life. There is ongoing mutual respect and an effort to validate and comprehend each other. My "intimate" relationship of course is proving the most challenging naturally.
I am learning a different cause and effect response, as a woman with ADD my thought process is erratic and disorganised, though I am sufficiently motivated to be more focussed when teaching. My aspie student keeps me on track because he hates when I switch topics or skip a section of text.
I would like to believe that I am significant in my aspie friends lives, I know that I am well trusted. I think that our common denominator is altruism, free thinking, tolerance and kindness. I say with all modesty Heaven forbid though that I should discuss politics with any of them.
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ASPartOfMe
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My first contact with autism was many years ago when I was hired to teach English to an 11year old boy on the spectrum. He is now 29 and we are firm friends. Through my intense desire to give him the best I could I researched and implemented many tools that I had learned or intuitively thought of. Today I am his closest confidante. Then, some years ago I discovered that a colleague and friend of mine has Aspergers. This is a very close relationship and I consider her to be a very close friend. I actually came to WP when she experienced burnout to see how I could help her.
That's 2.
Then a dating site brought me my aspie lover of 3 years, I have written about him in other threads.
That's 3
Finally I started teaching another young adult also on the spectrum, I have been teaching him for 2.5 years so far.
That's 4
I firmly believe in God and I often wonder why he has brought so many aspies into my heart and life. There is ongoing mutual respect and an effort to validate and comprehend each other. My "intimate" relationship of course is proving the most challenging naturally.
I am learning a different cause and effect response, as a woman with ADD my thought process is erratic and disorganised, though I am sufficiently motivated to be more focussed when teaching. My aspie student keeps me on track because he hates when I switch topics or skip a section of text.
I would like to believe that I am significant in my aspie friends lives, I know that I am well trusted. I think that our common denominator is altruism, free thinking, tolerance and kindness. I say with all modesty Heaven forbid though that I should discuss politics with any of them.
That is a cool story. I am sure you have performed many mitzvah’s for autistic people.
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