Is a group home setting appropriate?

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My parents are worried about how I will live after high school. They think a group home setting is best.

I dont know how I feel about that idea though. I understand that they want me to be safe and stuff. I feel embarassed about it though. They say I would be with people my age and who are similar. I just want to be like other people in my class who have drivers licenses and are planning on moving out. None of my older siblings thought about this at my age. They both go to college. They live with roommates.

I asked my parents why they think a group home is a good idea and they said its because I have bad days sometimes that make it hard for me to function, I get overwhelmed easily, I dont drive, I dont have the greatest communication skills, I have odd behaviors, and because I have bad math skills that would make budgeting and shopping hard.

I get that. I have a part time job at my aunts used book store. I think I could try and save up money and live with a roommate. But they said its not a good idea. I think they are just scared. I dont know.

If you can live on your own, a group home is not appropriate. Least restrictive setting and all that stuff. Everyone has bad days. Doesn't mean you have to live in a group home.

It might be difficult. You will certainly make mistakes. You will also have successes. You will also, for better or for worse, it will be your life.

Most parents (and I have worked with parents for 20 years now) are too protective and underestimate the abilities of their "disabled" adult children.

Tell your parents to watch Finding Nemo again. Near the beginning, pay attention to what Dory tells Nemo's dad.

I feel like the best situation is for you to have an apartment on your own, or perhaps with a roommate. With your parents one phone call, or one text away in case you need help.

You will need help at first.

I hope you go to college.

I asked my parents and they said no. They would rather have someone to check in on me every day. I am gonna go to college.

Ok. I will get them to. They are so overprotective. They keep saying that they have good reasons. My bad days can actually become really bad though. I have shutdowns. I also have really bad executive functioning. Apparently that is problematic. Sometimes I wish they would treat me like my older siblings. They just let them go out and about without feeling that much worry. They get so worried about me. Im not much different.

It should be remembered that many 18-year-old NEUROTYPICALS are not ready to move out of their parent's house.

Least restrictive setting only applies to the k thru 12 sped setting. And you really don't know what he means by 'bad day'

Yeah, thats what I was thinking too. I always hear least restrictive setting at my IEP meetings. At school that means 2 regular classes and 2 SPED classes for me. Yeah, I have really bad days where I cant really function. I get overstimulated more easily and I get more frustrated than usual. It lasts the whole day. I will also just want to lay down on my bed and watch the fan spin. It is soothing to watch. Its my favorite thing. I went to school feeling this way and I ended up having a nap in my last class. When I go to school feeling frustrated and overstimulated, its difficult for me and my teachers. I dont really know how to cope except for with a lot of stimming and watching relaxing movements such as the fan or the laundry machine. My parents always think its a bit weird to find me sitting by the laundry machine just watching it spin. Then they realize that its a sign I have had or am going to have a bad day. I guess they are scared that my bad days will interfere with my ability to do necessary tasks.

The person who said that doesn't know what she is talking about. I would take stock in what she says. There are places that are not 24 monitoring where you can live semi independently.
What grade are you in?
Are you working with a behaviorist and an occupational therapist who can help with coping skills and sensory diets?

Yeah, maybe a place that is semi independent will work but I would have to call my mom every day so she can make sure I am ok. I am in grade 12. I have an occupational therapist. I mostly focus on making communication easier though. I have extreme difficulties with it still. I get help with coping skills.

Yea, being an adult is really different. Semi independent may work for you. The occupational therapist can help with sensory issues. Maybe cognitive behavioral therapy might help with the melt downs.
All community colleges have disabled student service that can support your needs. It might be worth to talk to your folks about it. Maybe take a tour of the campus.

Yeah, my parents have done that. I do plan on going to college. I think I want to do semi independent. I have a part time job. Idont fully know what that would be like though.

That is a good idea. Take some tours of some homes. See which one you like, some time in the future you might be able to live on your own. Looks like you are on a good path.
What do you plan to take in college?

My parents already have a house in mind. Yeah. I want to do ssomething english related.

I know that "least restrictive setting" is used in schools and I used that term specifically because I knew the OP would understand the concept. For adults, the idea of having each individual be as independent as possible is the still the same goal.

While I don't know what a bad day is for this particular poster, I know lots of people in independent living who have very bad days.

I know parents who have never permitted their autistic adult children to learn, grow and become independent once they become adults. It is extremely sad to watch someone with potential slowing lose functioning and become either like a zombie or develop severe behavior problems, which causes caregivers in group homes to medication them even more.

ALL people living "independently" have some sort of supports whether governmental, community, family and so on. This OP may need supports, especially in the beginning. That doesn't mean he should spend his life in a group home.

Ilikemusic, your life is your own life and you get to make the decisions, unless you have been adjudicated incompetent. You can listen to advice and then make your own decisions. You can always move to a group home if you find independent living unsuited to you. If you decide now to live in a group home, that is okay to. It is your decision.

I see parents who deny support for you following your own dreams to live independently as possible by withdrawing their support as misguided.

But this is just my opinion and you can take it or leave it. You have had other opinions here as well. I wish you the best whatever you choose.

Yes certainly do. Very smug ones.