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Self-diagnosed with 32/50. Where should I start?

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nocturnal
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23 Jul 2018, 5:10 pm

Hello all,

I'm 42, male, high functioning and recently diagnosed. I scored 32/50 on a self-assessment. I work now in management after 20 years as a software engineer. I'm engaged to the love of my life. She scored 4/50 on the same assessment.

Where should I begin in terms of understanding Aspergers and ADHD (inattentive)?
And where should I begin in terms of identifying social skill gaps and developing my social skills?
What books should I read?

Thanks!



ASPartOfMe
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23 Jul 2018, 5:56 pm

I would start by exploring the website of Dr. Tony Attwood
What is Asperger's Syndrome?

He has a number of youtube videos and a book "The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome"


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Fnord
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23 Jul 2018, 6:55 pm

nocturnal wrote:
Self-diagnosed with 32/50. Where should I start?
Start with a REAL assessment by an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional...


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bellapines
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09 Aug 2018, 11:48 am

I'm 42, female, very high functioning (if I do say so myself). I work in management, after only a few years as a software engineer, I guess i get bored faster than you. And I'm not mirroring, it just so happens to be the case :?

The questions are pretty broad. Understanding aspergers is really about understanding how your brain functions and what works for you (and what most definitely doesn't work for you). Then applying it to your work and home life. For example;

At work, I know that I can't make snap decisions. I need to absorb a lot of information, a LOT of information, let is settle and wait for patterns to emerge. That's a typical aspie trait. I also know that I can't interact too much and that when I hit my limit (which I can now recognize), I need to isolate myself.

At home, I need to be attentive to my NT husband, but balance it off against alone time. It took us 20 years to find the right balance.

So before you dive straight in and worry about developing social skills, look to your history, how you've behaved and get to know yourself in a whole new light. Then you can start building your playbook and practice skills like 'acting NT' and 'avoiding social situations without offending anyone'!

Websites and books are fine, but forums and talking to other aspies are better. For example, until recently I didn't realize that I had anhedonia...


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 174 of 200
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The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R) 195.0


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09 Aug 2018, 12:05 pm

I'd suggest talking to your fiance about it. Should you get an assessment? Or not? It could be a significant amount of money, roughly $1500, that you may be able to put to better use.

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/279 ... ander-back
HOW KATE UPTON SAVED JUSTIN VERLANDER'S CAREER