Welcome to Wrong Planet.
The initial confusion about where to go next, and the "life review" are very common experiences that most of us who were diagnosed later in life go through (I was diagnosed nearly four years ago, aged 45.) The looking back isn't too bad a thing, I don't think, it's good to clear out of all those weird events we went through earlier in life that we just couldn't explain, and finally put them to rest. As you settle in, I can almost guarantee you that you'll start having the "aha" moments that you're looking for, I still have them from time to time even now. The best thing, I think, is not to go looking too hard for them, but let them happen naturally; it can be very surprising sometimes which conversations lead to them, and you don't want to miss out on any because you were too busy looking in the wrong place - to use Donald Rumsfeld's (in)famous words, the "unknown unknowns" that I've stumbled upon have often been the ones that I've found most profound.
_________________
When you are fighting an invisible monster, first throw a bucket of paint over it.