I wasn't ready to become an adult

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I was pushed into adulthood only because I sat around and aged physically but mentally I was behind. I never learned any advanced social skills such as dating, I didn't have a career plan in mind (I was constantly told that God had a "plan for me" but that is BS), and I didn't have a solid friendship network. I am 30 now but I am still behind.

I relate except I'm 36 & I haven't been told the God has a plan for me thing. I have other mental & physical disabilities besides Aspergers thou. My parents(especially my mom) pushed for me to be independent but that wasn't really in the cards. I'm more independent now that I've been living with my girlfriend but some of that is cuz of the area we live. I cant drive & my parents lived in a rural area with no public transportation & no stores or anything within a decent walking distance. It was also on a major highway with no sidewalks & steep ditches so it really wasn't safe for me to go walking for the sake of walking either which meant less exercise except when I was working.

I'm still not. I'm a 34 year old child and if anything I'm regressing. I'll be in diapers again before my parents at this rate.

I struggled been an adult and i'm 34 years old.

My parents never taught me how to do household tasks and when I worked they maintained my finances and I was given pocket money after my bills were paid again like a child.

I did learn to drive but again my petrol and other bills were maintained and I just kept on going.

Only changed when me and my partner decided to move in to a new house and my parents pushed for me to stay at home for as long as possible and just visit him as he was going for a house regardless.

My partner on the other hand was drilled as a child to adapt and mask his real father brutalised him for his aspie traits and he also at the time was put forward for conditioning to further hide his aspie traits. His mum also taught him to be as self sufficent as possible from a young a age as possible.

This made him very capable but where I embrace my aspie personality he acts very ashamed to be and even the slight trait he shows by accident he punishes himself for it.

I asked him if he wanted to have the conditioning he went though deprogrammed from him so he could be more aspie like but he refuses.

I was "kicked out" of my parents' house at the age of 18, started college a week later, and have been "adulting" ever since. It took me a long time to mature, but now I'm ready to retire, and my kids and my grandkids are all doing very well.

I can't ask for more than that.

I grew up too early, no choice, didn't have a safe environment.
If anyone taught me the basics for adulthood I dont remember it happening.
Growing up earlier doesn't mean that I was ready for adult life, bizarrely I was sheltered from the real world with a strict catholic upbringing.
Comparative to my own age group in general, I'm not at their level of competence, but when I look at my autistic peers I am just normal .

I'm still not ready. But I was pushed out at 18 right after I graduated from high school with no direction and no plan. I've been winging it ever since. I had a goal to finish college, which I did (although at a different rate than "normal"). I live life like people my age are supposed to do, but I hate most of the "adult" stuff I have to do. I think most adults feel this way about working and paying bills though, not just autistic ones. I feel like I just have more anxiety, panic, confusion, and existential crises than normal.

This thread reminds me of the Dennis Leary song, Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up but I don't think growing up is this bad for most of us

There’s a backstory between Fnord and Marknis.....

Your account, Amity, is not in the least bit “rude and condescending.” You have prevailed despite the odds.