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Summer_Twilight
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31 Mar 2020, 8:13 am

Hi:
I got an email last night from my mom which she had sent to my work email address and I don't know how she had gotten ahold of it as made it perfectly I don't want a relationship with her because she is unhealthy to be around. I fact, I had blocked her on my personal email account next to just about every other contact and just last night, my work email. Why? She is especially unpleasant due to having an untreated mental illness and is extremely unpredictable and extremely abusive.

1. She seems to enjoy dogging other people so she can get a rise out of them and drive them over the edge so she can always play the victim. Most of the time it's, "I didn't do anything wrong."
2. If she makes a bad choice and someone confronts her, she always makes excuses for behavior
3. She is always criticizing people for things - take me for instance. One time, I sent her a few pictures of me when I was a lot slimmer and she goes, "That's a nice picture one of your sisters and I agree that you're still too skinny
4.No matter what I have achieved, my mom always seemed to compare me to one of my sisters and her accomplishments she had made which are very unrealistic.
5. She has also been in trouble with the law for stalking someone before which I warned my dad about long before she got into trouble with the law
6. If you call her out she will turn it back and you and often say, "You're a liar."
7. She doesn't seem like she is that interested in me or anything I have achieved. She only contacts me whenever she wants something from me.
8. She has a history of mooching from other people and manipulating them for money


Anyway, I was so mad that last night that I lost sleep because she had the nerve to email me and I am pretty sure it was to ask me for something.

How can I handle this if she contacts me again?



Fnord
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31 Mar 2020, 8:20 am

I'm sorry you're going through this. My dad was like your mom (except for the stalking part). He was bipolar and an alcoholic. You have my sympathy in this.

Every email app should have a way to divert unwanted messages to a "junk mail" folder. I'm guessing your employer uses MS Outlook. It should take only a few mouse clicks to consign her messages to oblivion forever.

Again, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It isn't your fault, and you do not deserve it. Good luck.



Summer_Twilight
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31 Mar 2020, 8:38 am

I believe that based on her behaviors and the stories she has told us, she has schizophrenia, has a narcissistic personality disorder, and as well as characteristics that border with sociopathy.

As far as I know, she isn't an alcoholic but she is a religious fanatic and behaves like your average street preacher and talks about negative things associated with the bible.



Marknis
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31 Mar 2020, 9:13 am

I am sorry you got treated like this. It sounds like she still thinks you are a kid and you should tell her you are not unless it just makes her angrier.

I can’t see your avatar anymore. What happened to it?



Summer_Twilight
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31 Mar 2020, 10:02 am

Yes, she does but I have not had a full conversation with her in the last 10 years and I haven't really let her contact me. In fact, it's very seldom that I ever hear from her, which is once in a blue moon like she did last night. The last time she called me was just 1 year and a half ago out of a blue claiming she was worried about me after some bad weather came through my city. However, she really just wanted some information about me regarding her sister/ my aunt who she was having trouble reaching. Other than that, I have not seen her in 15 years and I would like to keep it that way.

I was doing the long-distance relationship in the beginning with her along with the rest of my immediate family. However, there were some things that bothered me
1. She would whine about me not calling her more often so when it boiled down to it, she only had 5 minutes to talk as other things were more important. My other family members did that to me as well.
2. Mom never appreciated anything I did. Rather it was, "I never achieved that and either did your sister."
3. She also seemed to make fun of me a lot over things I did. One time, I told her what denomination I belong to and she compared me to their family do. "Yeah, so is our dog," and she started laughing about it. She also made fun of me for having a crush on a celebrity. "Oh you still like that crazy person?" Yet, she praised my sister for liking some boy bands.
4. She kept dwelling on all the negative things in the bible and what happened to disobedient people.
5. She was also never supportive of anything I was doing with my life for instance I was getting ready to go to a university and it was,"Oh you're gonna do that huh?"

I finally got fed up with her drama, disrespect, and abuse that she and the rest of my immediate family put me through. Like the rest of my family, she doesn't get it. She and that sister who she favors both demonize me all the time and try to tell people that I am the one who is mentally ill. They also put guilt trips on me for not talking to them by accusing me of victimizing myself.



HighLlama
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04 May 2020, 4:58 am

Sorry you have to deal with that. My mom is very similar: no respect for boundaries, has never made a mistake in her life, constantly abusing people verbally. Fnord had good advice about blocking emails or sending them to spam. If you have no choice but to talk with her, being very boring and neutral may help. People like her either tend to think everything is great or horrible. If you don't give them whatever emotional reaction they want, they will hopefully seek it elsewhere.