I miss when I was a kid

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I miss school even though I hated it. But now I have so many more responsibilities. I dont know if I can manage my money. I'm not good at saving it.

I have learning disabilities and it makes keeping a job hard. I have had a few jobs. I live in a group home. I'm probably never gonna live fully independently.

I feel so much anxiety lately. I miss my parents. I feel like my mental health is going down the drain. I know I'm not doing well at my job.

I just wish I could sleep all day these days. I feel like I'm failing at being an adult. I know I have limitations but I dont like being held back.

I like the era when i was a kid. Not sure i'd wanna actually BE a kid again.

I do miss some things about being a kid, such as the forgiveness curb for small mistakes.

Being an adult has perks too. So much freedom to do. I can't wait until I am an old biddy.

I want to be a kid again, because you could socialise without alcohol or drugs being involved.

I didn't like school and I especially hated high school but lately I've been wishing I could go back to being a teenager at school but with the brain I have now. When I was a teenage I done stupid things like push nice girls away and stick to the bitchy girls, just for the sake of sticking to the familiar people even though I knew they didn't want me around. Then by the time I realised this and tried to make new friends, it was too late - we had about a couple of years until we left school so everyone had found their cliques and groups by then and weren't too welcoming.

Also Christmasses and birthdays are fun when you're a kid. The Christmas season was so magical and exciting, and I got so many toys each year. Birthdays were cool too because you get to play party games. As an adult birthdays must only be celebrated with alcohol, and the drunker you get the more your birthday is ''well spent'' (even though you wouldn't remember half of it).

Also the 1990s was a great time to be a kid because we weren't yet overcome by technology but technology still existed as a luxury and we still had the freedom to think for ourselves instead of staring at an iphone or a tablet all the time. Now I see children as young as 2 that know how to use an iphone more than I do. When I was 2 I played with toys and the only phone I had was a plastic toy phone on wheels that sung out tunes when you pressed the buttons. When I was a bit older I had one of those pretend phones full of sweets.

I hated being a kid. Couldn’t wait to grow up.

I hated it too, but I tend to look back at it and see it as a missed opportunity. Sure there were uncontrollable external factors at play, but there's always an element of how you respond to those factors that determine how good a time you can have.

In my case, I'd say that element was large, and I made it worse than it needed to be. Or just not as good as it could have been. People often say that 'Youth is wasted on the young' and to a large extent I think that's right. When I was young I had zero perspective on what being young meant. All I could see is the freedom that adulthood appeared to promise. I didn't see the freedom I had. And adulthood doesn't feel as free as I though it would. It rarely feels free at all.

So I can very much relate to Joe90's feeling, that to go back and do it over, with the benefit of a more mature intellectual and emotional centre would be very tempting.

I also miss playing with toys. As an adult it isn't the same. I don't have the same imagination I did as a kid, even though I get mesmerized by the bright colours of toys (who doesn't?) Blue, red, yellow and green are my favourite colours on toys, so bright and attractive (although I like all colours).

For my 4th birthday I got a toy kitchen and it was really cool. It had an oven, a fridge, a sink, a hob, a telephone, a clock, fold-out tables, and all the pots and pans that belonged to it, all in different bright colours. When I got to about 9 or 10 I was too tall for it but I still used it to play a funny chef game where I was a clumsy chef having accidents in the kitchen, like a comedy type thing. It was great. I miss those days.

I don't miss being a kid and it's era.
I hate the state of when I was utterly ignorant, dependent and overreactive.

I hate my own parents' ignorance and overreactions even more in that particular age.
Just as I do hate that era when both my parents are more trapped out of sheer lack of knowledge.

They only know how to work hard. And nothing beyond that. It is frustrating.
The only real communications and learning I had received then are actually with other children.

Sure it was a happy time to be with them all them nostalgia... I was even the sort who wins more than losing at anything.
The range of imagination that I had, the flexibility and speed that I had... Surely I missed those.
Even school is an utterly easy life.

Yet deep down, I always wanted something more... And I still do to this day.

Something more liberating, being allowed to freely roam and grow further than just be in a little world full of joyous simple playtimes.

Whatever it was, it is beyond words.
Beyond the fancies coming from the medias I've even yet to understand.

... But then at that very time, no one truly taught me right, let alone getting closer to wherever that was.
I kept getting it wrong and further away, and something just felt wrong in the process and no one's guiding me.

Now I'm working to undo the damages of the damnable things that possessed my head.
It's been years and still trying to figure it out.

Had I been taught right from the start, it'll saved me a lot of trouble and heartache in life.
It was a very frustrating time -- always feeling something out of reach, because there is no access and no means towards whatever that was.

Ever heard of this?

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