Living alone, feeling overwhelmed by household tasks.

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Disclaimer -If this is a improper placement for this I apologize-

But, I live alone - and for the past 6 months my house has been a mess. Small things really, dishes undone, some trash lying around, litter box going longer than it should - mostly easy 5 minute tasks. But I find myself COMPLETELY overwhelmed and unable to cope with these tasks. And I tend to clean everything until it sparkles, then I go through a week long "clean" phase. Then I notice things start to come together and start to congregate and multiply. Boxes, things I brought home in my pocket, receipts, electronics...

My question (and the reason I posted here), is I wanted to learn some coping strategy's from people with experience in this type of matter. I own my own home (condo) .. which I pay a HOA on (I knew I would get overwhelmed enough with indoor tasks). So only indoor issues apply. But, should I place more garbage cans around the house? I was almost thinking just having one set of stainless steel (cup, plate, fork, knife, spoon, bowl, etc) would keep me more organized. I noticed its easier to pull out a new plate than clean the old - this gets me way too often.

But, this may not seem like a big deal but its effecting my life - everything just piles on and I feel extremely stressed about it. Does anyone have any opinions on certain types of cleaning materials, ways to cut down on clutter, perhaps list making techniques (task lists), or something I'm not thinking of. I'm unsure if this is really a NORMAL worry, but I feel very powerless at times towards a lot of obstacles.

This is known as an Executive function problem--considered normal on this planet.

List making works for me, most of them time. I use a calendar to handle monthly chores, like the mortgage. Cross a task out when you are done.

This has been me my entire life, I had a maid come in every week for a while and that helped a lot, but she quit cleaning houses and I can't really afford a maid. A strategy I used to use was to invite my brother over to play video games and then I'd be motivated to clean up before he got there.

My daughter has this problem, as well as my SO. I am the opposite; if the place is a mess, I become unable to function! Here are a few suggestions:

A large calendar on the wall near your phone. Say you make a dentist appointment. Write on the calendar as you stand there.

Set up bill pay with your bank. The website will walk you through it.

Arrange for paperless billing too. Saves on clutter from the mailbox.

Get a file cabinet and folders. If you have papers lying around, make folders for each piece unless it's a candy bar wrapper ( )

Also write on your calendar tasks that you will perform on certain days, and then stick to it. Like laundry on Monday, clean bathroom on Thursday, etc.

Have some large baskets around the place that you can chuck things into when the clutter gets too intense. Then you can sort through them later.

Appoint a place for things and then put them there, even when it is a nuisance.

Use paper plates until you get things more organized. Then maybe the dishes won't get so overwhelming.

Check out books on organizing the home. They can be surprisingly helpful. That's where I learned a lot of things from.

Good luck!

Good advice all. But please notice, keeping up a home is as hard as running a business. Moving and/or setting up a new home is as hard as starting up a new business. I think even people with thoroughly 'normal' executive function and people with thoroughly 'normal' organization skills (and no human being is really 'normal'!) struggle with all this.

No one has refuted that keeping up a home is hard. Because it is. What I shared, took me many years to learn and apply. I have a chronic illness that makes it difficult to keep up with things. That is when I am most aware that it is a full time job. It is the business of living.

Okay, I tend to be perfectionist, too. Now, what if you toy with perfectionism, play with it. In zen-like fashion, what if you give yourself permission to intentionally leave one aspect undone, almost as a joke, and then see how it feels. And, it's perfectly okay to leave it, it's perfectly okay to fix it, either way is fine. Kind of as a playful method to expand your repertoire and expand your set of skills.

That actually sounds quite unbearable, it wouldn't match. And thinking about it I even thought of the most discrete, out of the way, 1 ft by 1 ft square of my carpet possible.

Keep them coming tho, I enjoy the opinions. I've just been having a hard time with this/it effects my sleep patterns. Last night I picked up my entire room/cleaned up all the trash around the house and washed the misc clothes/put away my clothes. Fell asleep - and actually woke up refreshed. Things are still undone but I woke up refreshed for like the first time in 3-4 months.

But the points here are solid - the one about a large calender might make sense, since paper is so unorganized. And actually the thought of leaving part dirty does make sense - because my own striving to keep things perfectly clean might in fact be tiring me out in itself. But I want everything perfectly clean, I want no smells... no strange particles in the air, no trash about the floor - no garbage in the house..

But these are unattainable.

I am the same way. I feel better when my condo is clean but I can never seem to keep it clean. I have thought about having a maid come in but I am uncomfortable with a stranger touching all of my stuff.

Good to see another arizonan bergie.

I feel the same way about a maid. But I wouldn't mind having one to do the hateful tasks, like scrubbing the bathtub and toilet, and cleaning the fridge and oven!

I don't have much of a problem here but I do structure my life somewhat, lists, scheduling tasks etc...

give it a try, good luck, peace j

I am a lot better at cleaning now then I was in my first few apartments. Those probably would have been considered hoarder-level situations. Now, I make rules with myself like if I can't see at least 40% of my living room floor, I need to pick up stuff until I can see 80% of it or if I need to rearrange stuff on my kitchen counters in order to make room to cook something, I fill a bag of garbage. My trashcans and sink rarely get used for their intended purposes.

Calendars... or make it habitual/routine. While in college, I always cooked for myself and made it a habit to also wash the dishes afterwards as well. It gave me time to think about stuff as well in relative quiet.

I have this problem as well and I have kids on top of it so they make more of a mess than I could ever generate so it makes it all even more overwhelming.
My house has never been immaculate but I have managed to keep it clean, especially when my kids got older and would help. Now I have two young kids both with ASD and Im an Aspie, my adult kids now live in the US and Im in France....I also have a auto immune disorder which is fusing my joints and spine so I now can not even clean if I want to.
I have two home aides one comes on Monday and one on Wednesday, they clean and play with my kids, pick them up from school ect. I also feel really uneasy about having someone touching my things but I cant stand living in something that resembles a dumpster either. It seems the dirtier my house gets the higher my anxiety level is.
I think a schedule helps a lot as well, it keeps you focused....Im also a calendar girl, I write everything there and I can not be without it.

I do like the idea of picking a section.

Now, working in the morning and into early afternoon, I have gotten the feeling that I just want to get the hell out of the house, and I've gotten angry with myself about all my self-imposed rules, etc, etc.

So, I remember reading about a writer who liked to leave a sentence unfinished so he could more easily get back into his writing. Mmmm, little bit gives me permission not to be such a hard slave-driver of myself.