Open-ended question on.....this WP fourm.

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Anybody reassess the sentiment, dynamics, etc. etc. of the 'In-Depth Adult Life Discussion' lately?

Why does this forum seem undervalued?

Not sure. I think people tend to use the members only discussion and random forum more.

That's a good question. I'm not really sure why people don't use this particular subforum more.

I'm actually trying to figure something out and was thinking of posting it once I had a bit more understanding of what I want to say/how to say it. I was thinking l&d would be likely the most fitting and appropriate place for it, but I don't know if I want to post in there...it seems a bit too much for me on the whole. I'd prefer to have a more mature conversation going about this topic than the ones I see in l&d. No disrespect to that subforum as I think it serves a good purpose and all, but I'd get annoyed if my thread turned bickery and everything there seems to turn bickery.

I understand why people would use places like members only or random. It seems like a safe catch all if you aren't sure where something should be. I imagine a lot of people aren't sure exactly what should go here as the title is somewhat vague. But yeah, I think in depth adult conversations could be really beneficial here for a lot of people. It likely could for me anyhow.

I'm not sure what the typical 'vibe' here is, to be honest. I tend to just check out new threads and browse that way v/s by category.

Thank-you for your response.

What's concerning is not receiving any responses- despite hundereds of views.

I'm sometimes left to 'REPLY' or even 'QUOTE' my own discussion-thread just to encourage (or nudge) a response from one the hundereds of WP members who viewed the discussion-thread (usually to no avail). Go figure!

Success has a funny way of being punished or scorned on this site. Sub-forums would probably benefit greatly from success stories, as they may give insight to successful strategies. But around here, success is oft treated with derision or contempt. Responses like "just cos you can doesn't mean anyone else can!" or "oh good for you, showoff!", or "you're an exception!" or other such heckling frequently find their way into such discussions.

I can't imagine too many people would want to share stories of success, knowing that someone is bound to try to suck the joy out of it, or otherwise take a hammer to their achievement.

Take away the success stories, and all you have left is questions, guesses, and commiseration. Which would likely lead to the undervaluing of certain sub-forums, since it's more likely to be full of "yeah, me too" than any actual answers or suggestions.

Almost 10 years here and I know for the most part if I post stories about autistics getting abused or murdered or a study saying bad things are "associated with autism" it will get a lot of responses. If I post stories about autistics accomplishing things it will get one or two responses. That has never changed. My guess is that people with poor self-esteem feel worse
about themselves when encountering stories of autistics having success. I don't post those stories to belittle people by saying to them if they can do it, so can you, stop being lazy. They are not the people featured in the stories. It is to say being autistic does automatically doom one to failure.

^ It might be more like success stories are less interesting/exciting/sensational than stories about murder and abuse. People like sensationalism.

They would also like reading my diary.

Despite success being undervalued, such stories must be published in WP sub-forums, and discussion-threads where such stories will be maintained, and readily found by people who are............receptive to such stories.

I had created a discussion-thread in the 'Social Skills and Making Friends Forum' - 'Doubts, Bad-Expreinces, Etc. Yet.....(RE-EDIT)' discussing how negative stories too easily become a 'self fulfilling prophecy of sorts' with viscious feedback cycles. In short, 'we can be our own worst enemy.'

I've not been here as long, but I recognize the pattern of "hey now, stop doing better than me, it makes me look bad!" that people sometimes engage in. It is not a unique or isolated phenomenon. Anyone who desires an ability or trait may potentially be envious of others who possess the ability that they don't.

If the individual has convinced themselves that they "can't" do it, as a means of alleviating their frustration for not being able to do it, then the existence of others in the same situation who CAN do it, tends to unravel their belief / justification for not being able to do it themselves.



Likewise, I only post videos like that to illustrate that not everything is a foregone conclusion. Unfortunately, whether due to jealousy, insecurity, poor self-esteem, or whatever, regardless of the intention of the poster, some people only see posts like that as an unreasonable expectation, a demand for the impossible.

If you suggest that they could maybe improve, they respond with "look, I can't instantly become perfect in every way, ok?!", as though that's what you've asked of them. If you suggest they could spend a little more time and effort, they respond with "look, I'm not going to spend every waking minute of the rest of my life doing that one thing and literally nothing else!", as though that's what you've suggested.

Even if you don't place any expectation on them, they'll gladly do it for you, and give you the credit for it. Strawman of Absolution. Make a reasonable thing sound utterly unreasonable, to then rally against the "unjust" nature of it.

FOLLOW-UP: Yes, I understand the gist of this discussion thread via disc. thread responses - yet, at the same-time, I understand that the disc. thread can too easily become too cumbersome, and confusing to follow!

The WP Forums less active than the 'General Autism Discussion Forum' are the favorable options.

I always got confused between this subforum and the adult discussion subforum, probably because both say the word "adult" in. A few years ago I posted a rather adult sort of thread topic here thinking it was the adult forum and it got moved to the adult forum.

There are not many members of this website who can contribute their part of an "in-depth conversation" without resorting to personal attacks when their claims are criticized, debunked, or disagreed with.

The 'General Autism Discussion Forum' is often too fast-paced for in-depth discussions.

This sub-forum does seem to be oriented towards people who at least believe they are somehow managing in life and there seem to be fewer such people on WP.

I feel like this is a more SFW adult section versus the adult one.

And here I was thinking that one of the better parts of ASD is having a completely valid excuse to not care about that kind of BS. Especially when it's online where you probalby won't ever be in the same room as the writer.