Most discouraging thing to me about getting older

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It's not the fact of having relatively few years ahead of me. It's not even about me, really.

Perhaps it's because as I've gotten older, my understanding of people has improved. And the more understanding I acquire, the less potential I see for basic decency in the world. Everybody who seems, superficially, to be kind and giving turns out to be a self-serving c**t. TBH I sometimes feel more respect for the blatantly evil such as Joaquín Guzmán because somebody like him never pretended to be other than a criminal. At least he was good at it. In contrast you have John Fitzgerald Kennedy who, when I was a kid, was almost worshipped yet it turns out his public image was a complete falsehood and he used women so cynically that he made the reviled Bill Clinton appear to be a paragon of family values in comparison.

Nowadays we seem to have awakened when it comes to acknowledging the "sins" of our past yet people just seem increasingly angry. I don't see any reason to expect the world to get better in any meaningful way, except by recovering from a massive military conflict or climate disaster, then in the far future all will have been forgotten and we begin again. Although death is indeed scary, at least the prospect of my upcoming demise doesn't give me any FOMO.

Don't worry though, I'm not actually depressed. Living in the moment still seems the best plan.

The world is rapidly going down hill but one good thing about getting older & having fewer years left means I won't be around to see the world at it's worst