Understanding my aunt's power of attorney

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Hi:
My aunt had passed away three months ago after having a massive stroke over Christmas and spending the last two weeks of her life going in and out of a coma. Anyway, she was well organized and had made some major arrangements with her power of attorney. On Sunday, I finally met with this power of attorney because she put me in the will since my aunt became like a surrogate mother to. Though I have pretty much stepped back and let this executor handle things. Because she is power of attorney, she used her controlling personality which turned me off.

1. Though I was allowed to take "Anything I wanted" certain things like my aunt's purse was off limits due to certain valuables that needed to be accountable.
2. I wanted to help promote the estate sale and it was "No you will not, that's my job."
3. I also could not take this one thing sitting on my aunt's table that neither the power of attorney or I knew what it was. "No you will not take that until I know what it is."
4. I also wanted to go through the house first and pick up what I wanted and she was controlling about that too.
"No, let's do this in layers."
5. Though she was also a friend of my aunt's she refused to pick me up and give me a ride to my aunt's house that's off the bus line. (I know she is not obligated) I also would have been on her way from where she lives to my aunt's

That said, are there any thoughts?

First, it's not that she "is" power of attorney, it's that she "has" power of attorney.

Second, this power of attorney gives her, for all legal intents and purposes, full authority over the disposition of any and all properties that once belonged to the deceased.

Third, unless there is a will that specifically states the you inherit certain items, it is all up to the executor. She may even decide to sell everything and distribute the proceeds as she sees fit.

I hated being executor ... so much paperwork ... so many questions ... so many relatives wanting their "fair share" of the estate ...

I am able to take things from her house because I am written in her will and I was allowed to take anything that I wanted other than her purse and anything that the executor in addition to specific things. As for her will, how do I go about getting ahold of the copy through the courts?

I think a lot of Aspies would melt down under the pressure of being an executor of a will if there were a lot of relatives around demanding their share.

The items that you were not allowed to take may have been (or may have contained) items that had been bequeathed to someone else.First, request a copy from the executor. If she won't comply, then you need to petition the court for a copy and/or a formal reading of the will. For that, you will need to either ask the Clerk of the Court or hire a lawyer to do that for you.

I made sure to have my lawyer read the will to only those mentioned in the will, and all at the same time. Anyone who wanted to request a copy or challenge the will was referred to the Court Clerk.

Once the will was read, there was very little challenge, and eventually the estate was dissolved.

I nearly did, even with my lawyer doing most of the actual work.

I don't know why the deceased picked me, since we didn't really get along, even though we had respect for each other.

What is really a mess is when your live in partner dies without a will. You may have no legal rights, even if you have been living together for decades.

My aunt originally had another close friend who she met in during grad school years ago who was the original executor but then they fell out over political and religious viewpoints. Then this woman, who did business with my aunt started developing a relationship with her executor but it sounds like they were not close. It's a shame because I liked her other friend better because she is very kind and has a way of explaining things in a gentle manner.

That seems to happen a lot.

Although in one case, the deceased was a disfellowshipped Jehovah's Witness, and her family refused to acknowledge that she had ever been alive, much less related to them. Then they found out that she had died a multi-millionaire, and suddenly she was their "dearest and sweetest" sister/daughter/niece/cousin, and they harassed her unmarried partner for their "fair share" of the estate. The partner presented in court documentation that proved the family had disowned, disinherited and disfellowshipped the deceased before her death, and the judge decided the case in full favor of the partner.

It's rare, but it can happen.

My aunt didn't want my parents to get any whiff of her assests

Maybe she was trying to keep things at a professional level.

She is a retired lawyer and we don't know each other. Again, I wish that my aunt had not fallen out with her other friend from her college days, who was the original power of attorney.

Go along with the executor's instructions and don't expect her to befriend you, like you, or let you help with things. This is a business relationship, not a social one.

Bea, the thing with the power of attorney is that she started forming a friendship with my aunt but they were not super close although they did travel together. I didn't say I wanted to be immediate buddies with this woman or for her to like me, I said I miss her original power of attorney who I became friends with. In terms of liking goes, I don't like this power of attorney because perhaps we have different personalities and ideas on things.