Adjusting to Adult Life: Success Stories?

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Has anyone struggled with trouble with becoming a responsible, independent, happy adult .. and then some time later, eventually overcame their struggle and felt pretty good about where they are in life? If so, please post your story here. I would like to hear it.

I've posted my story before but no one cares to hear that Aspies can survive on their own. There's a number of us that do. Nominalist is probably one of the most successful on here.

Why do you say no one cares to hear that Aspies can survive on their own??

I am in my early thirties and have been completely supporting myself, without a diagnosis or any assistance for Asperger's, for about ten years. I have two university degrees, both of which were very difficult to complete. I have also had both work problems and social difficulties because of having Aspie traits. So I have been relatively successful, but it has been a very stressful process. I take massive amounts of medication and alternative medicine to deal with the stress. I've only recently started to consider how to make my life easier by creating accommodations for AS rather than trying to do whatever the other people around me are doing.

Come to the ex dino cafe in the introductory thread. It is a great place of aspies who have survived. All of them are 40 to 60 ish and all have only found out about aspergers recently.

I am the token NT.

And we love our token NT!

I am one of the successful ones, or so I'm told. I went to college and got my Early Childhood Education diploma and had a successful career in the childcare field for 22 years. I'm now working part-time at a job I love and doing an on-line diploma program to start a new career, all while raising my 4 kids on my own. Three of them are on the Autistic spectrum.

Do I have insecurities that I may not be doing a decent job? Yes. Can the stress cause me to want to hide in my shell, rock back and forth and never come out? Quite often but I've learned to take care of myself and not give in to the stress. I believe quite a bit of that comes with age, but it can be done.

Hummm, yeah the Cafe. Well no age is checked and it can get to be a bit of a free for all with the directions of conversation, so just kind of jumping in is the way to do it.

But successes, yeah had some and had some that weren't as good as far as outcome. Pretty sure I've bored more then a few with my better success. It had to do with Archaeology and it didn't come around as far as money goes till late in life. It was an obsession and I just followed it, like I really didn't have much of a choice.

I would say, in retrospect, that my life has been a pretty successful. I still don't think that I have fulfilled my full potential, but overall I have survived pretty well.

My teenage years through to early twenties were probably the most difficult times. I found it hard to fit in at school and university, and, looking back, I had the potential to do better. However, perhaps I did the best I could with AS - at the end of the day, I came away with a large number of qualifications, which have served me well since.

When it came to work I started off in quite lowly positions, when my associates from university were becoming accountants and high fliers in television. It has allowed me to build up my skills set over the years though and at a pace that suits me. I'm now a middle-manager in a university and have quite a lot of responsibility.

It's not always been easy - I've had jobs that were awful and nearly broke me. Even now I can struggle to make things work and I happily admit that retirement is the major goal in my life. I just keep on going though and do the best I can in the jobs I have. At the end of the day, I saw it as something I had to do and got on with it as far as I could.

I must have something of an ambitious streak (not that I ever thought I had until I was pondering this post) as I have always sought to find something better within my abilities (usually I don't step far out of my comfort zone). Perhaps it helped that I also know when to quit a job before it gets too much (though I always have something else in place before I do).

Relationship-wise I hadn't any real relationships until I was in my late twenties. Then it was very sudden and I went from very single to very married to a very patient NT woman in the course of 3 months. I now have a couple of very good kids.

So on the whole I think that though my life developing slowly was very frustrating at the time, it was the best way for me. It is important that I try not to allow myself to get totally discouraged when things go or appear to be going wrong. I think that that philosphy formed after looking back and seeing that most of the things I expected to have horrible outcomes never did - and even the few that did, I survived the knock and I'm still going, albeit a little bruised from time-to-time.

Last edited by Cernunnos on 04 Feb 2008, 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well.... and now for something completely different....

I'd say by "da rules" I've succeeded. Married, house, kids, dogs, cats, assistant vice president at a bank. It took a long time and learning about Asperger's a few years ago, and learning what my triggers were made all the difference...

My biggest problems were mostly with executive functioning - particularly on the job, having my learning curve up to snuff. I think the trick was finding something that worked well with my own parameters off the start - my next job I think it will at least be a lot easier to hit the ground running since I've gotten a real taste of the business world and particularly how many of the different types of accounting work in practice as opposed to just in the books.

Not popular in high school, but I did shoot the breeze with some nice people. I had one good friend then who is still my friend. One of five stars who are dominant in any sky. Eked out an associate's degree in computer programming. Worked in IT as a computer operator for 1.5 years and as a COBOL programmer for 24 years, picking up Easytrieve, CICS and DB2 along the way. Tried to help where I could along the way and sometimes I even got it right. Currently looking for a job after a short sabbatical and prospects are very good.

Viska,

Nannarob is right, go to the Dino-Aspie Cafe on the "Getting To Know You" forum. There's some really great people there who are successful, and have figured out how to work with Asperger's in a positive way.

That said, difficulties arise. There's no such thing as stasis, and there are going to be times that life will throw you a curveball, and you have to find ways to knock that sucker out of the park. Sometimes, you have to head on up to bat for several games.

My bio could be described as checkered-I have a BS, I'm working for a doctorate, and right now, I've had to put that on hold in dealing with an illness. I've taught classes in art and writing, and I was a mental health advocate. I worked for twenty four years, most of that in the medical field. I have friends who have stuck with me, and friends who were just passing through. I have helped raise my nieces and nephew (in fact, he's coming to live with me), and I gramma by proxy to my oldest niece's children.

If life is a quilt, mine is getting worn in places. I'm trying to mend it with the skills I've learned from professionals and friends, so it's getting quite colorful and odd, which fits me.

And I do my own taxes!

Sometimes, I am made of awesome.

Metta, Rjaye.

Well, socially, things could be a bit better, but I am learning to accept that there are some things that probably won't change. As long as people leave me alone and don't pick on me I guess that is progress.

Careerwise, I work in a growing pharmaceutical research firm, and I am known as a go-to person in my department. I own my own house, I have my own car, I am independent, and I am paying my own bills. I also am involved in a couple of service/career organizations. I guess it never occurred to me that I "can't" do anything because of my "problem". I have flown a plane (not well, but I have done it), traveled by myself, acted in a couple of plays and sang in a choir.

Well, since I only realized a few days ago what Asperger's Syndrome was, and that I had a mild case of it, I had no idea it was supposed to hamper your ability to make your own way.

I moved out of my parents' house a few days after I turned 18, and since I didn't really fit very well in the so-called "real" world, I found an alternative lifestyle in the rock 'n' roll scene of the 1980s and became a freelance journalist and, later, part time editor at a rock magazine. I've always been on my own and until my boyfriend moved in with me 10+ years ago, I generally lived alone too.

Of course, I was always seen as a little wacky and different by a lot of people (less than most of you, 'cause rock 'n' roll is full of wacky and different people), but nobody ever seemed to doubt my ability to take care of myself. Plus I put my penchant for numbers to use at practical things like paying bills, rent and later on, mortgage, and playing the stock market.

Really, I think that people tend to limit themselves sometimes because they are told they must. No one ever told me, so I didn't know I was supposed to!

-J.

we love our token NT

haha

yip

Guess people would see me as successful as I do earn enough income to support myself and my mother as well. I have been in emotional turmoil for the majority of my life, though, and wish I could better adjust to living in this mostly NT world without feeling so constantly battered and alone

I've struggled my whole life to "live up to my potential". I've never liked working for other people and have huge difficulties with executive functioning. Despite having no knowledge of AS, until my fifties, I've learned to keep life simple, and manageable.

Over the last 13 years I've build up a modest real estate portfolio and actively manage the properties myself. I work remodeling houses with a friend to pay for day to day living. I sink all of the investment income, from the the properties, back into the business to keep it growing. Because of problems with clerical skills and scheduling etc. I've relied heavily on my NT wife and work partner.

I'm lucky to have become financially successful without having much skill in any one area. I feel like I've out smarted the system.