Inability to love

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Inability to read social cues is what stays in the road of affection and bonds. So many of us are alone, feel unprotected and unattached. If you feel unattached you also plunge in an increasing abyss of detachment. Why do you have to care for what happens in the world? It’s not a philosophical conclusion or reasoning, it’s an emotional consequence of feeling abandoned . The world leaves you and you leave the world, lose interest in events.

sim, eu compreendo. Eu quero gritar para você, para mim e para tudo que compreende como nós .

Merle

in English:
yes, I understand. I want to cry for you, for me and for all that understand as we do.

Portuguese? Here's something you two might appreciate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_klppfz2gk

Wow, that's exactly how I feel and what I've gone through. Not having the ability to respond to some of the misconstrued cues. It does feel like an abyss as I do feel detached to the human race of complexities. I think fears and rejections are large part of it since it can go the other way around. Not having the ability to express what I feel externally on the outside and consequently getting no or small connections to those around me.

I remember thinking that I if they wanted to, other people could give me the love I craved. I remember thinking that they. . all of them, no one exception, but all the people I had ever met in my life must had decided to withhold their healing love from me.

well, it finally got around to my consciousness that if every person I had ever met had had more or less same reaction to me. . .maybe it wasn't them, maybe it was ME!

I couldn't feel the love they were giving. I wonder, is this the missing link of my inability to bond with people?

That thought alone gave me pause.


Merle

Same here.

I know this is of no real help,
one thing I have learned and seen is that if you know someone from a vary young age
(like that of me and my child) they are like a new book,
you get to know and see the pages as they are added,
you get to KNOW them and how they respond and feel,
this makes it much easer to empathies with them and read them.
where with others they are a big thick book that they seem to hide behind
by keeping much of them selves protected and behind lock and key making it much harder to read them.

But yes, I can relate to what the posts above are saying,
it seems my ex-g could never relate to my feelings or see them,
and I just gone by what I felt and hoped she felt the same,
but that was wrong judgement on my part,
seems she hated my guts and I didn't know it,
and it seems the rest of the world is so damn cold and un-empathetic.
and yes I also sometimes feel that way, as in,
why should I care if others don't, unattached and abandoned,
from and on the wrong planet.
.

wow, what a depressing thread, but I have to concur

The only women I have ever dated seriously in my life (a whopping 3 at age 33) I knew as friends before we started to date. Unless it was a drunken hookup where social interaction is dulled by alcohol, I have had such a problem reading women in the dating world. Same with guy friends, the ones that became friends I got to know over time, but so many people whom I meet initially I rub the wrong way for one reason or another...

Sure can be frustrating and lonely.

Here is an amusing cartoon which made me think:



The two guys succeed communicating, because their thoughts fit together like pieces of a puzzle. What's necessary here? That the pieces fit together from the start, or that they are made to fit as the result of an effort ? Or perhaps it's all the result of a chance? Selective affinities? The cartoon is open to various interpretations. It's not taken from AutismSpeaks.

I don't know. i just don't know.

What to think, what to believe, what to refuse about all this.

I think the puzzle pieces were already made to fit by the way.

We can get along with some one a bit by trimming our piece but its still a wobbly fit and a wobbly interaction.

what I saw immediately was it was the same stamped piece, but they are cojoined upside down

that looks gay to me

.
This poses a serious problem. How much of stable ralstionships between humans, straight or gay, is supported by sexual attraction? I think much. This might even be a subject of another thread. Many AS here, who have not succeded in their life to maintain stable relationships, are married or have sex mates.

The puzzle of love topic

Having children is the extent of my 'love'.

Mature adult love I have never fathomed.But I do not feel any loss because this is never something I have ever experienced. Love blind, I guess.

BAZZA!
I think it is Bo Decker and Cherie

Merle

I think so too. IMO relationships start off with sexual attraction and then they can develop deeper meaning.

I have always found comfort in participating in community groups. I have never made any close friendships from any (Army reserve, shooting clubs, freemasons, etc) but makes me feel I belong and have acquaintances I see regularly.