my first meeting with a therapist

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hi there
well i have just been for my first meeting with a therapist, which never whent good at all i found it realy hard to
talk about my self and my problems (should of wrote things down) i can relate to most threads an posts on this forum but
my therapist tells me i just lack self confidence and self asteem. my eye contact is fine, allthough we never realy made eye contact.
and all i need is to talk to some one like a counciler. which is a good thing but i just felt a bit like my desciption of my symptoms and self, were not realy being heard and that both therapists had made there mind up about me no matter what i said.
the therapist allso said that people with as are far worst then me. which i find a hard comment to understand from a profesional. especialy after reading about as.
anyway thats only my first meeting i think i will start to write things down for the next.

Last edited by toby2 on 31 May 2008, 7:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

hi toby,

i don't know where in the world you are, but in the uk, i went to the national autistic society helpline - 0845 070 4004 and spoke with them. sure, they're not perfect either, but they helped by

1. sending me an information sheet to give to the doctor,
2. giving me a list of people in my area who could do the diagnosis,
3. advising me to do on-line tests to show to the doctor, like RDOS: Link to RDOS Aspie Test here - and the AQ test: Link to AQ test here
4. giving me a sheet which explained how to bring up the subject of AS with the doctor

anyhow if you're not in the uk maybe there's a local helpline or information service which could help you the same way. i think it helped get the doctor motivated because i'd already gone to these guys, so he had to kind of take me seriously.

just an idea. not that i support everything the NAS says or does, but take the help where you can get it!

thanks Robinhood, i live in the uk thanks for your advice will ring them on monday done the test and a few others
and allways come in the spectrum range.

In CentraL New York State where they have the Kelberman Center for Autism... there are many children and adults with
Autism and Autism Spectrum Disorders as well as other mental disabling conditions living in supportive housing. It is a policy of
the agency governing these residential facilities to have a "communication sheet" accompany the resident whenever one needs
to go to therapy appointment or visits with any doctor.

These "communication sheets" do indeed avoid any problems that may arise when addressing the needs of a resident and to make certain that these needs are met appropriately by treatment providers.

I feel your pain. I am REALLY outspoken (had to be as a kid) and ended up training my personal and family therapists as well as learning a lot from them. Most research about what is going on inside the head of someone with AS or HFA is WRONG (also their capabilities) prior to 2005 and many counselors, especially established practices, hold onto the old beliefs that aspies could never empathize (etc.). If there is a university that studies AS I would look there. If you get a good feeling from them you should ask for a referral.

What school of therapy is this?

I've seen several different types over the years, and while none have been brilliant, they have all been helpful to me in some way. I'm surprised that your therapist is making sweeping judgements about you "just lacking self confidence and self esteem" on you FIRST visit! For one, there's nothing trivial about these issues even if they are a correct judgement. And then it seems innappropriate to be making any such judgements on a first visit anyway.

Sometimes, you do need to keep hammering away at them When they say your AS isn't as bad as others, that may even be true, you just have to counter that it's a spectrum and that you're not there to discuss anyone elses AS, it's YOUR experience that matters.

I've been seeing a psychodynamic therapist for a few months now and she virtually dismisses any thing I say about AS. Not that she denies I have it, more that she thinks that using labels is not helpful to the real individual. At first she often suggested that I was not as different as I thought, now she is more aware of how different I am and is really helping me to allow those differences rather than always negate them.

Admittedly, you experience sounds somewhat worse than this, but even with a good therapist it takes time to build a releationship. They will not be able to help you on session 1. If they say they can, then they're a fraud.

You say you found it hard to talk about yourself. Working out some ideas in advance is a good idea. You may just find that once you start, the floodgates open and you actually have lots to say.

One other thing. In the UK at least, NHS therapists are generally of a lower standard than private. Or maybe it's just that the best all go private (and hence very expensive). I'm lucky in that I've been married to a psychotherapist so can get a good insight into whats available in my city. I've only ever had therapy from those with the very best reputations, so maybe my experience has been unusually positive through not seeing the charlatans who definitely are out there.

I hope things turn out well for you.

well the more i think about it the more i realise the apointment never whent very well at all.
i am a bit upset realy, i realy thought it would of gone a bit better. i got the feeling they felt i was wasting there time.
a statement like most people with as are far worst then you, what kind of a thing is that to say to some one
i have plenty of confidence more than most people i meet, but i loose my confidence with my as symptoms or what ever it is.
i think i was hoping for a direction to look so i could read up about it. well atleast i get to see a councilar some time
so i suppose i will start there and get prepared. i might even book another apointment with the doc but this time
take some advice and follow it, hmm might even have to take me mum jeez over 40 and going to the docs with me mother
but to be honest both parents are very upset about relising what my problems are and were, i think they feel guilty and anoyed
that i have never been diagnosed, i showed the signs when i was a child.