Adult Aspies 'coming out' to family...any experiences?

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Have any of you here, who've realized as adults that you had AS (whether or not you were officially diagnosed, because I know many aren't), gone ahead and told family members about it? I mean, family of origin?

If so, what happened, and how did they react?

I've been toying with the idea of telling my sister-in-law, who teaches special ed kids and therefore has, I believe, some knowledge of what AS involves. She's also known me since I was small, but I'm not sure whether she remembers enough of what I was like then to make the connection. I'm a little worried about how to broach the subject - if at all - and wondered what others think...

It's pretty much what you'd expect.

Mom was thrilled that it wasn't her parenting that made me so weird.

Dad thinks it's just an excuse for not trying to fit in (I'm 49, that ship sailed a long time ago).

Some others accept it, but don't fully comprehend what it means. They think it's a disease, like Alzheimer's or something and treat me like I'm mildly ret*d (My IQ is 141).

Some smile and say "wow, isn't that interesting", with a look that says "You're just being a f***king hypochondriac." Which I guess is the same basic attitude as my dad's.

The best reason for getting As officially diagnosed is that you then have some protection in the workplace under the Workers with Disabilities Act. Makes it harder for managers to fire you because they're uncomfortable with the fact that you're visibly more intelligent and qualified than them and you hardly ever speak to them.

I still haven't told them. I'll be watching this thread with interest.....

My Mom has several degrees in psychology, but she is doubtful. She kind of accepts it, but she still argues about it. I explained that my Dad and Grandfather obviously have it. Even though it explains their marital problems, he doesn't accept it completely either. Only my little brother agrees it's obvious.

Indirectly, from my ex-wife: I'm not surprised.
From my children: We've known that all along.
And one of them adds: Consider anxiety issues also. (Her daughter has anxiety problems.)

All in all: general acceptance and help

There are a few old threads about this subject. I tried to find one I started, but because the search facility is not what it used to be, I can't find it. If a moderator has better search capability (Quatermass?) perhaps someone could find and sticky one.

I think it depends on the family. I wish I hadn't said anything to my parents and brothers, not that it makes much difference because I only see them a couple of times a year anyway.

I just revealed it to my mom earlier this week. She seems to think it might be so since other family members are the same way, and my brother is PDD. I gave her a print out that gave an overview of AS and how it is with adults. So far she's only gone through about half of it(even though it's only 30 pages...)

Can't say there's been much of a reaction so far...
Well, see what happens when dad comes home.

Me too. Well, actually I mentioned it to one of my sisters, but told her not to tell anyone else. I also told her repeatedly that it wasn't a big deal, even though of course it is, and I didn't explain it very well (this was when I first found out).

Here's one:
Coming Out - Older Thread

I would hope that you'd already have a pretty good idea of what to expect. I have not told any family members, especially since I'm not 100% sure, and it wouldn't go over well with my parents anyway. I know I'd get a negative reaction from my mom since it would probably hit too close to home and she refuses to discuss anything about herself. My dad simply wouldn't understand. I would not get a negative reaction from my brother (likely NT) or sister (NT) but I'm not that close to either one so what's the point? I have one friend I might be able to mention it to.

No one to talk to about it is a big reason why I'm here.

Thanks for the link to that thread, YowlingCat. And thanks, everyone else who responded.

I'm still thinking about it...there are probably other people I'd tell before I told my family anyway...

"

I have written the fact of my Aspieness to my parents, in part to explain some of the communication snafus--not to use it as an excuse. We never really sat down and had a "real" conversation about it or about our family dynamics as it relates to ASD.

I'd worried a lot about telling more people in my family. Sister was great - just annoyed that I hadn't told her first and that I was worried about telling her. Son was completely calm about it and just thinks it's interesting. Hubby's on the spectrum too so he's not bothered and has known for a long time.

I've had more problems telling people who don't know me very well and who don't have experience of ASDs. They tend to either go very quiet, or say something very rude. I guess it's shock/ignorance. Ther's still people who don't know, and I think I'll keep it that way.

Well I told my Mom and she couldn't remember how I was as a child. She never heard of AS and didn't seem to understand when I tried to explain and seemed doubtful. But I don't care I'm coming out with AS to the whole wide world.

Seriously, what happened to the search feature? It is annoying for those of us who have posted in olden days in threads that recur. I imagine it's because the size of the forum has grown, but it really was nice to find an old thread to refer new people to.

"Coming out" for me has been great for the people who know me and care about me. Now we all "get it". But there are family members who just pretend I'm normal yet treat me like crap. So mixed reactions in my case.