This purpose of this post is to solicit resources available for developing social scripts and other socialization tools for adults with AS (e.g., books, videos, classes, and coaching).
Over the past couple of years, I have spent a considerable amount of time learning about spectrum disorders, due to my 4 year old son's diagnosis of being high functioning autistic (same as AS, but with more bargaining power to deal with the school district and regional center). However, it was not until recently that that I have come to terms with the possibility of being on the spectrum as well. I have gone through life, prior to my son's diagnosis, feeling socially awkward and disconnected from people around me, but thought that it was a result of a dysfunctional upbringing (unemotional and uninterested dad - AS dad in hindsight).
Through coaching from older sisters, I realized in adolescence that a lot of my interests (e.g., comic books and endless hours of video games) and friends from elementary school were considered "uncool" and, if I continued down that path, I would not be successful with girls in junior high and high school. As a result, I tried to remake myself into a cool kid. The one problem was that I had considerable social challenges. I ended up resorting to becoming a bully, based on my propensity to fight, rather than use words to solve conflict (I still have difficulty articulating myself and making eye contact). I did okay socially during my teenage years (not voted most popular, but not an outcast either), mostly based on many of the guys being scared of me and girls thinking that I was the strong silent type. Taking on a bad kid persona and being genuinely bored out of my mind in school, I had extremely bad grades (at that time, the lowest GPA that you could graduate with was a 1.7 and I barely made the cutoff)
I subsequently remade myself again after high school and, fast-forward more than 10 years, I am now a CPA working for the largest accounting and professional services firm in the world. However, I have never been able to shake the social anxiety and awkwardness that I have had since I was a little boy.
The following information has been provided to give additional insight into the areas of social challenges that I face, with the hope you might have good advice/ideas for resources:
• Early in my career at a prior firm, I was passed up for a deserved promotion. The partners decision was not based on my technical skills, but rather on the fear that putting me in charge of people would cause staff turnover. Apparently I was not friendly enough with my peers.
• I have difficulty answering questions on the fly and completing work quickly because of my tendency to overanalyze. Up to this point, the quality of my work has been able to make up for any time delays.
• Working in a field like accounting, I have been able to hide my difficulties articulating myself socially by speaking mostly in technical jargon. However, I now have a lot more socialization with partners and clients, which makes my social awkwardness and difficulty speaking about non-technical topics more apparent.
• I have difficulty “switching gears” between work, which usually will throw off my schedule and organization. In a client service field, it is not realistic for me to think that I can work on one project at a time without being unexpectedly interrupted.
Thanks for any help that you might offer.
19 May 2008, 6:13 am
