19 year-old woman.. I think I may have Aspergers?

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My whole life I've been "different." Certain textures like papers and things like that irritate me to no end and I have to wash my hands or use hand sanitizer to remove the sensation. I've never really had a whole lot of friends and was always "different" during school, though I never really understood why. I got made fun of a little, and always ended up hanging out with the "nerds" even though I didn't even fit in with them. I love numbers, dates, things like that. I'm a bank teller and I can't help but always notice things about people's birthdays and SSNs that most other people wouldn't, "oh, if you add the last two digits of your social to the third, you get the first two numbers. Neat!" Response: ".....Can I have my money?" I love the serial numbers on bills and get very excited whenever I get two in that are consecutive. I commonly read peoples' account numbers as "123456" and process them as "123465" or something like that. I have a hard time keeping friends. Any friends I used to have are long gone, and our relationships have been reduced to emails about how we need to hang out, but no definitive plans. I love words, one of my favorite parts of school was learning etymology. I've always wanted to write but I find that I have a very hard time developing a story. I've always felt that if someone gave me characters and plots I could write an amazing story because I've studied how people act down to a T. Speaking is problematic for me as I constantly jumble up words, stutter, etc. As a child I saw a speech therapist for a lisp.

I'm also very uncomfortable around people, though at work it is very easy to make myself act as though every member I see at work is a long lost best friend who I can't wait to help. I hate parties, I hate meeting new people. I'm very happy to stay at home with my boyfriend and play with our pets. My whole life I've found things to collect. When I was young, sugar packets and jewelry boxes. As I've grown I've collected movie stubs, an old friend's lighter wrapper who I haven't even talked to in years, tarantulas, and any random little thing I find that makes me happy. This drives my boyfriend nuts because he is a neatfreak and I like to save EVERYTHING. I love to take pictures of things like bugs and people, but can't draw for the life of me. People see me as the "artistic" type even though I can't make any art. When I was 12 I was institutionalized for suicidal tendencies and running away, and when I found out that they were planning on admitting me I flipped out and beat my head on the desk and pulled out my hair until someone confronted me about it and told me that that wasn't the type of behavior that was going to get me out of there. After that comment I kept my chin up and tried to act normal so I could get out.

Long story short, I've always been "weird" but never really understood why. My teachers in school have always considered me prodigal, and yet I barely graduated from High School. I was a spelling master from the age of 8. I enjoyed reading the dictionary when I was 11. I get along best with people old enough to be my parents. I can hardly stand people my age. People my age make me incredibly uncomfortable, especially girls.

I took some online test about aspergers and it gave me this:
Your Aspie score: 143 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

Is this something you think I should look into? I'm a functional adult in a wonderful relationship. I have a good job that pays me well that I would do for free. I feel like a diagnosis would bring some closure. I've always asked myself why I'm so different...

Welcome to WP!

Hi there Jeanine,

many of your stories are similar to mine, I don't function socially as well as you currently do, but there was a time when keeping up the act wasn't as hard as it is now for me.

I could go on for hours about things that irritate me, I've felt different my whole life.

For a very long time I always wanted to write as well, it's like having all those wonderful ideas, and not being able to fit them together like you want. you have all the wonderfully magnificint ideas, and you cant fit them into the whole puzzle. I am like that as well, it used to drive me up whatever wall I happened to be facing.

I love being social! I can make friends with ease, keeping them is beyond me. Sound Familiar?

I too saw a therapist for a speech impediment, was and still am a spelling bee champion. While I believe everyone with AS is different, we do share many of the same traits.

People always thought I was artistic as well...I could barely draw a stick figure to save my life

Theres many other stories, and other people here able to articulate better then I am, but I saw a great many similiarities in our stories.

From my point of view, it seems to me you may have some traits common to asperger. My advice to you is to keep reading, share your experiences in here with other folks smarter then myself.

The Simple fact is for me is this, Knowing I have aspergers has saved my life. Quite Literally.

Best wishes to you Madam,

Feel free to reply to me in open if you so choose , or PM, or Not at all. I always have an open ear, take care.

Andy WHO?

Hey there Jeanie,
I'm almost 26 and I am in the same boat as you I have a job but no boyfriend. I have a few friends that I really keep in touch with.
I would just go see someone if you really wanted to know. I am seeing at least someone in a week.
So many things you have described is totally me too.
If you want to chat just send me a PM.
You sound like you have everything going for you. If having a diagnoses would bring closure to you than I say go for it but on the other hand there comes disavantages as well but hey what do I know.
Lauren

Welcome to WP

The important thing is finding that with which you identify. It sounds likely that you are on the spectrum, but the whole thing is just a label. If attaching a label to yourself is important, as it is with many of us, then seeking a proper diagnosis is important.

Regardless of what label may or may not be attached to you, welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to the forums Jeanine!!

I'm obsessed with consecutive numbers as well. I also like when numbers had up to 10, 20, 30, etc.

Hi Jeanine, Welcome to WP

the answer to those questions is 42.

Here is an article by a shrink regarding dx of adults. I found it interesting. I suspect that I (and you) as a functional adult would fail the DSM-IV definition of AS so I think PDD-NS is more probable in my case.
http://www.childpsych.theclinics.com/ar ... t#section6

it sounds a lot like my story, and i'd say there's a good possibility that there's something there. the question you have to ask yourself is why do you want a diagnosis. if that reason is one that seems good enough to you, then go for it. I'm looking to get one and i'm pretty functional. i have a few friends/acquaintances, i go to university, etc. i would just like to see what a psychologist who's dealt with asperger's and other ASD's can offer to give me a bit more help, especially socially. i'm functional to the point where others don't think of me as weird but i constantly feel like an outsider, even with some of my actual friends.