Went through my Yearbook and saw my bullies

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I found it in the other house I was living in. So I took it home and went through it. I can see even through my pictures what a miserable person I was. I was picked on both verbally and physically. Eventually I got curious and looked up some of the people I use to know on FB including most of the kids who picked on me. I discovered that almost all of them were married and with children. Not only that, but with successful careers and most of the successful ones were bullies. I don't know why I'm venting about this. I guess I feel more resentful than I used to. I feel like I should've done more to get out of my shell even while being single or that I should've taken more risks in order to achieve something in life. At 30, I feel I'm officially now a failure. This notion I'm so use to hearing...that school bullies turn to drugs and become dead beat parents living off their mommies and daddies seems like nothing more than wishful thinking or a myth...at least from what I discovered. Again I'm not sure why I'm posting this. I guess I have no one else to tell and don't feel comfortable talking about it with other people. I know exactly what my parents will say, "you're not a failure" or "they probably have problems of their own". I think there is something to be said about how sociopathic/narcissistic type people are usually the ones who rise to the top. I don't know. This yearbook really opened up a can of worms and feelings I never thought to experience The very few who did stick up for me and whom I got connected with are struggling themselves. I'm no scientist and I know not all bullies are successful or have better lives than the next average person but this experience seems to be telling otherwise.

Would a narcissist claim anything but success? Living where I was schooled, their narcissistic supply is still what they consider success.



I am more than happy not to share in it.

Just think of all the major political leaders, and essentially the one percent. Most of them exhibit behavior typical of antisocial personality disorder.

One of the biggest bullies from my class is going to school to become a clinical psychologist! I almost puked thinking about her giving advice to people who are victims of bullying! I hope she changed, and that's what I keep telling myself.

The girl who accused me of showing off and telling others about it when I was in 4th grade and saying how weird I am and spoiled, she grew up and became a special ed teacher. She now works with kids on the autism spectrum.

Hopefully she has grown up and realizes I may have had that condition and maybe I wasn't a show off and why I was so weird. I wonder what inspired her to work with special needs kids?


Another girl I looked up who didn't like me because I "talked weird" is a mother and she was not very nice to me as a kid. I don't know what job she has but she has a cute baby girl. God I hope her girl won't talk weird and if she does, maybe she will learn acceptance and not judge people for how they talk and not make fun of them and not be mean to them for it.

Well, I think that the notion that all the nasty people will grow up to be junkies on welfare is probably a myth or a pretty lie told to misfits by people who mean to encourage them.

I bought the same line as a kid, and it just ain't so.

I don't need Facebook-- my grandma is faithful about keeping me updated about the wonderful lives of the as*holes I went through grade school with. Oddly, the kids who kicked me around are, today, a mixed bag. In other words, pretty representative of society at large. Some married, some single, some divorced, some with great kids, some with kids their parents are raising, some without kids. Some with substance problems, some not. Some with psychological issues, some without (for the time being, anyway).

Pretty-- average. On the surface.

Then again, on the surface, my life is pretty average too. I decided, in the end, that I wanted to be a housewife and mommy. Well, I've got three-going-on-four kids, we own our home thanks in no small part to my budgeting ability, and we're working on becoming quite self-reliant.

On the surface, quite successful.

Underneath-- Well, that's another story, isn't it?? For me-- and I'm willing to bet for them, too.

Final note: People on Facebook lie through their f*****g teeth. They're putting the best possible face on a heavily edited version of their actual life. That's how you're supposed to use it. I HATE Facebook. It's the ultimate example of the social deception sacred image game.

And-- Yeah, I take a vindictive pleasure when I happen to hear about one of them falling on their nose. Or on the rare occasions when I happen to meet one on the street and I get to smile and wave and be all patient and understanding and then talk to them about how happy I am.

I recently tried to look up some of the people I went to school with out of curiosity. Since the last time I was in a normal school was in sixth grade, never got a yearbook in the one year I had a chance to, and can't remember most of their names I found nothing. I'm kind of relieved that I found nothing since I hate most of them and never want to see them again.

^^^ So true! And if those very same people haven't changed & are still jerks, MissConstrue would you really want to associate with or be like them? I have 5 yearbooks personally. Sometimes I'll crack one open, but I usually just leave them in the bookcase where they collect dust. I know full well that I am not successful. Have never been. I know my bullies are the type who are successful. But those same people are liars & cheats who'd stab their own mother in the back if it meant they'd get away with it & rewarded.

My parents pushed me to be something they wanted, & all it did was make things worse for me. I can only be myself...as genetically messed up as that is. I do wish that I had had people in my life back when I was in school who were kind & even supportive of stuff that I was interested in. Instead, I lived in a world where I couldn't do anything right, no matter how hard I tried, or where I went. I guess that's why I haven't tried to look up people from my past either...it would only make things harder for me. My life has been difficult enough without throwing gasoline on the fire.

If I can offer any advice, it'd be to stop trying to please anyone else because in the end, it comes down to how you feel about you. You're still young with a lot of life left in front of you. Find your passion & pursue it. It's funny, just before I read this posting, I gave the exact same advice to someone close to me. LOL I hope you find your path. otherwise, you'll end up very resentful & bitter. It's not a good way to accomplish anything.

Tomboy

I would not be interested in anything my bullies were saying or doing now. Good riddance, I say!

I don't really care what happened to most of the people I went to school with. It was so long ago that I don't feel much connection with it.

I do recall pulling into a gas station in my hometown and the attendant was a kid who used to terrify me, not because he specifically bullied me, but he seemed like such a badass dude when I was 14 and he was 15. Then I was 20 and I guess she was 21 and he was pumping my gas. And at that point I was bigger than him too. Just a weird feeling.

In the end I guess that I only care about right now. I'm trying to deal with serious problems every day so I have no motivation to measure myself against people I knew 30 years ago. I don't wish ill fortune on anybody else, I'm just trying to deal with my own current situation.

It's just more reasons to avoid FB.

I don't think I would know them now I have no interest in going to school reunions I wouldn't want to put myself through that again.

Someone said on the radio one time that everyone has a photo of their bullies its called a class photo.

I suspect most bullies never saw themselves as bullies, the instances that were terrifying and traumatic to us were just goofing around and having a bit of fun for them. They probably never realized it had such an effect on others.

At least that is what I tell myself when I see they are quite honestly arranging and planning to attend class reunions (I would have one coming up this month - no way I am going anywhere near it). How else could they look at us in the face - or themselves in the mirror - and still stand tall?

I have looked their pictures up in my yearbook befor but I have a better life now then they do karma is a b***h

They started switching me to a different school every year after sixth grade so I never had a yearbook and I only have one class photo from fourth grade I think.

I hated primary school it was a nightmare things were better when I went to the special school.

I hated middle school the must every one was in a cliuq but not me I was just a outsider.

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