My son's new girlfriend

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My son who is almost 22 met a girl who he gets along with. They seem happy and chatty together. The other day he told me that her mom is a prostitute. She has a step-father but her biological father was a john. She works in a supermarket but is actively a prostitute as well. I can't accept this. He lives with me and now I'd like him to move out. He thinks I am mean. I sent this s.o.b to college and this is how he pays me back. He's staying with my brother now because I can't stand the sight of him.

Well I think you are being mean, try not to take offense because I am not here to just insult or anything.

But the mother of your sons girlfriend is not your sons girlfriend so really it should not matter what her mom does. That is not the person your son is dating.

Also though why does this cause such feelings of hate for you? Maybe a little bit of self introspection on that would be helpful. I mean what do you know of prostitution...really? I actually think it should be a legal industry as it would make it over-all safer for everyone involved. But that said what do you know of this girl and her mom, you don't know what situations they've been through or why she's in that line of work. People do fall on desperate times you know...could be its what she had to do to have enough to provide for her daughters needs.

But that aside from that seems like you are treating this as your son is dating a prostitute, rather than a family member of the sons girlfriend is a prostitute. I can really only recommend trying to be a bit more open minded about the whole thing because I certainly cannot say I think you did the right thing.

Prostitutes are people too.
You have old fashioned values.
I don't have a problem with that, but my broadmindedness finds what you have said, amusing.

You're not obliged to give him a place to live but your opinion of his girlfriend is unneeded and unwelcome. Furthermore, sex work is a legitimate way to may a living and you have no business shaming people for being sex workers.

If I read it correctly, the mother and daughter are *both* prostitutes.
Borat would be proud.

RightGalaxy might have religious inclinations. <shrug>

Personally speaking, problems with prostitution is rather pedestrian, as long as safety and health considerations are addressed.
I prefer being broadminded.

I wouldn't have put it so forcefully.
Well, actually, I didn't.

hmm appears you are correct, well than...they should be more open minded of that. Doesn't seem logical to see prostitution as wrong.

Social/community conditioning as children.
What can you do? <shrug>

How do you find what I said amusing?

I guess try and see if there is a good way to support efforts to legalize prostitution.

It is totally legal in Australia.
We are socially advanced, in some areas, over here.

In another thread you implied you think prostitution is exploitation of another human...but you have hate for the people you see as being exploited? Why is that? you don't have to say here but maybe just a thing to think about.

Did not know it was legal there, that is cool. I think in the U.S its legal in Nevada I think it is, but that is just one state and not even sure if its even entirely state-wide.

Many moms HATE their son's wives. It's because you feel jealous and want to keep the son for yourself. It's kind of sexual, as you felt deprived of male connection after you were pregnant and became older and lonelier and you crave that close connection with a male and you want to get it through your son. Prostitution is sad and I used to be against it, then went to strip clubs and was amazed at the long lines of girls and women getting naked and rubbing themselves on men in private dances because it was a requirement of their job and was normal for them. Some girls from Russia looked trafficked and it was sad (I think they were hired for a baby sitting job, then told there is no job, but you can make money at the strip club to pay back the mafia or else or something like that). Visiting strip clubs killed my sex drive instead of easing me into physical touch and sexual intimacy with women who were always shocked at how uncomfortable I was with dating.

This girl could get your son into drugs, crime, etc., and she may work as a prostitute too. Likely, her mom's boyfriends harassed her and maybe even forced her for sex when they were dating her mom. You are right to make assumptions. But if I had a choice between dating a prostitute's daughter and a 60 year old mom, I'd choose the girlfriend. Sorry mom, your time is up, and you can't fight to get it back.

Deciding who lives under YOUR roof is definitely not mean, regardless of the reason. If you don't want your adult son living under your roof then that's it, he can't live there, end of the conversation, regardless of what your reasons are. You are not legally responsible of him anymore, and while a parent's moral responsibility to take care of their child exits to some extent, that doesn't mean outright providing for an adult child.

I wouldn't outright judge someone for being a prostitute though, assuming it's legal where you're from of course. If not, then I would be rather worried, too. However, I understand your concern about the profession, for it has it's risks. Have you considered asking your son's girlfriend why does she do such a job when she has another job as well? She could be in a serious need of money, like for medical bills of her own or of a family member. In situations like that, people tend to be anything but picky about what jobs they take. I'd seriously recommend talking about the subject with her and your son.

No mom wants her son to date a prostitute, or the daughter of a prostitute. Prostitution is called 'the life', it has it's own culture, norms, ways, seedy people associated with it. Are you sure the prostitute is dating your son and not just grooming him as a john, or a beta type as a provider? Usually, prostitutes get badass boyfriends who are tough like gang members or drug dealers or very social, but they also sometimes try to date a boring guy.

My advice is for you to befriend the prostitute and learn how to be friendly to people, because prostitute essentially trade friendliness to people and set them at ease in any situation. Try to show kindness to her. The hate will destroy you. You don't have that much life left give you are sixty, you may only have 20 years left, use it to learn something. I think you are concerned for your son rightfully and disappointed, but also I think you are jealous and don't want any other woman to take him from you. Maybe you should look for a relationship with a man slightly older than you? I am 100% sure you are either widowed or divorced or never married. Sounds like you lack male companionship, and perhaps prostitutes have something you never had - the open sexuality that they can use to trade for survival and lure men. Sure they are abused and there is drugs and trafficking and they get raped and extorted for sex by police and manipulated by their boyfriends.