disowning society

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just wondering if there is anyone else who has completely cut themselves off from society (i.e. live alone, work from home and/or receiving assistance, no friends, only leave the house for vital things or appointments), etc.

this is my lifestyle which has gradually been forced upon me and accepted at the same time. i accept that every person who i speak to will become angry with me because of miscommunication, so i don't bother to leave the house or attempt to reach out to anyone.

this goes online as well as in reality. i feel i'm even going out on a limb just posting this.

my psychologist says this is a type of anxiety common with people who have AS, and that it is detrimental.

but at what point do you look at "society" as a whole, and give up hope? i never feel as i'll be truly able to live the life i want. i don't think i'll have the freedom to go places i might want to go, without fear of confrontations.

i'm slowly becoming a mute by choice. i don't feel being a hermit is a problem, but my psychologist is tugging me in the other direction (with compromises).

what do you think?

Thats right where i am.

Your lucky to have a shrink. best wishes.....

How old are you? Because I think how old you are is important. Since we make experiences based on our experiences and lack thereof. To me you sound sensitive (i.e. would rather not deal with the constant struggle it is to communicate with others and avoid hurting yourself and others), am I perceiving this right?

What kind of life do you want? To me it sounds like you don't care either way, whether you go on as you are or not.

A lot of us over 40's live as semi recluses, by that age you've more than had enough of the relentless fault finding, exploitation and outright abuse metred out to those who only look normal.

When I was young however I tried to stay in the game, I think I learnt a lot and progressed more thru doing that, but it took a big toll on my health. I would say I had to opt out for health reasons.

But, remember: there is no society, just an endlessly repeated pattern of me and you.

If there isn't one person you can look to for support, then there's no help out there. Society isn't going to save you; finding one person who cares can.

Well, finding one person who cares can be the first step on a trail that may lead to safety and security. Perhaps by fighting our individual ways through it, we can make the process a little easier, a little more rewarding for the aspies we've given birth to who are already beginning to battle with it?

I've done this to the extent that I actually can. I have a husband and three kids, two of which are in school. My husband, though he is NT, has had his fill of society (what with his manipulative family, a lot of his friends turning out to be something other than they made themselves out to be, and finally a trusted friend working for him and stealing money from him, and all the people who knew the guy had a history of it that never warned him... even an NT has limits) so we both tend to be reclusive. From a personal perspective, I just got sick of the misunderstandings. They're only funny on TV, and not always there. But as a parent, it worries me. I know my personality is affecting my children and I wish I could be someone different for them. They have spectrum traits and are already having trouble in school.

But yeah, when I go to pick them up, I stand around among the other parents looking up or down or away or at a book, and no one tries to get me to speak. I'm pretty sure most people start social interactions cold (I mean with someone they don't know) with eye contact, and I avoid that in the extreme. I've tried to speak to people a little more lately and it always seems to go bust in a hurry. The weird looks never feel okay, and if a couple of people were to exchange a glance while I was speaking, I would be furious. Sometimes I think being a face-blind Aspie would be nice. But I am all too aware of the weird looks.

I came back to add that I know I should try to cultivate a sense of humor about the little misunderstandings, but so many people take a little one and make it into an out-and-out snub. I finally got so I figured that I wasn't coming off any nicer when I opened my mouth than I would if I really did snub everyone, and quit trying. I also hate being stared at, and I hate seeing people's faces all day and night (as I tend to do if I make eye contact) so there's still more strain there.

It's been my dream to become a hermit since I was a teenager. I was actually on the road to my goal, had planned out where and how and done a lot of research, was saving up to get the piece of land when my health punked out and I had to go on disability. Now with needing assistance with many things (home nurse visits, assistance with housekeeping etc) I wouldn't be able to live away from the city or at least a big suburb of a city.

yeah it's like being isolated Amish people in a world full of "English". I'm too naive to mix with people successfully.

I've disowned society, not to long ago. Over the course of the last 2 tears, I've decided to withdraw and say screw everone else. It may be immature to think like this, but, I don't really care what anyone thinks anymore. In some ways it is "free-ing" and in other ways it is depressing, but it was my choice after hundreds, or thousands, of hours of self-analysis and thought.

I recognize that underneath it all, it is really acceptance that anxiety is in control of my life, and I'm just trying to lessen the pain. Also, all of this is subject to change......

I'm pretty isolated nowadays despite living with family, going to Uni, and having a job (which I am probably going to lose soon). I am beginning to give up on society. I am only 20.

To those who have disowned society: How do you deal with loneliness?