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pleiadian
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26 Mar 2009, 8:22 am

:cry:
OH my....I just heard from my dad who said NO I cannot go with him to see my 83 yo mom who's in intensive care. Just a few miles away. Because of my AS?? God forbid I may be inappropriate and say something out of line? Carry havoc energy with me into the room? My brother who lives with them now he's 55 has taken control of their lives and I was estranged by them last July. They all misunderstand me after all these years, my brother especially does NOT accept me nor like me!! This is sad. All the info out there now and no one cares to read and learn about AS. What is it with them, besides ignorance?? My brother is an *#!#*:%! !
Last nite my dad said he would pick me up at *:45 to go to the hosp then calls and says "it's not a good idea". Judgemental? Them being presumptuous??People usually gossip or laugh about me for my being weird. Inappropriate things I've done and said in the past. Leaving me no room for improvement and believe me I have made changes. OH my .........



Learning2Survive
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26 Mar 2009, 9:53 am

umm, what's the big deal? is she intubated? i mean you just come in. watch, you can hold her hand if you want. we bring DOGS into intensive care units to play with patients (dog therapy) so there is NO reason you why you should not go. of course, he may just have trouble coping with grief and stress, so you might as well just give him a break and let him act like a weirdo. just pray for your mother.


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whitetiger
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26 Mar 2009, 10:11 am

I agree. Pray for your mother. I can't imagine your dad not allowing you to even see your mother. That must be traumatic. Have you asked point-blank what his reasons are? Maybe you could have a discussion about it.


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Learning2Survive
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26 Mar 2009, 10:24 am

Draw a picture, print out a post card, or buy a Get Well soon card, sign it, and have your Dad leave it in the room. Or put it in an envelope, address it to your mother's name, hospital's address and mail it. the nurses on the floor open the envelopes and put the cards on your mother's bedside table.

your dad just cannot cope with the mother's hospitalization, so you might as well cut him some slack. it is not fair to you and very unreasonable. you should totally be allowed to see your mom. it would be good for her - even the therapeutic touch. often people can feel their family's presence even if they are unconscious. but sometimes we have to cut people some slack, especially in difficult situations.


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pleiadian
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26 Mar 2009, 10:38 am

Dad went to see mom at 9 am and asked her if I can visit....of course she said yes! She IS intubated and I will hold her hand, bring a good mood along and tell her how important she's been to me. Wonderful. Except my brother will pick me up at 12:30 to go too. Now HE is hard to deal with. I am praying--she deserves to live many more years. I'll try & reestablish a more positive communication with them all. .and their 3 dogs 1 cat. I strongly believe in pet therapy infact I'd love to start a business perhaps visiting nursing homes, etc....thanks for reading and advise :D



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26 Mar 2009, 11:14 am

Bring a family picture and put it where she can see it. This helps with feeling of living a connected and meaningful life.

P.S. be nice to the nurse. Thank them for their care and wish them good night. Don't be critical of the nurses and do not complain. if you see something wrong, politely ask if someone could help you with that.


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Willard
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26 Mar 2009, 12:01 pm

Why don't you just go on your own? The hospital staff isn't going to keep you from visiting your own mother. Seems like it would be easier to go alone than deal with annoying family and their wacky behaviors. I know doing things like that is sometimes very difficult, but I'd find it easier to navigate the experience alone than to interact with irrational people.



EnglishLulu
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27 Mar 2009, 8:11 am

Willard wrote:
Why don't you just go on your own? The hospital staff isn't going to keep you from visiting your own mother...
^This.

FFS, seriously, how old are you? 53? And you can't make your own decision to go and visit your sick mother? :?