Falsely Accused and its making me ill

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Firstly I know anyone could come on here and say they had been falsely accused and hey I am innocent and I do not bring that to this discussion. A few months back I remember reading a topic where by someone with aspergers had got themselves into trouble on a few occasions in regards to how he connected with children. Well I hate to say it but its gotten to me and its very serious and it as changed my whole outlook on life and shattered all the walls of how I saw the world. Here is my story and I hope it may help others to see what they may face if they not careful about how they behave towards children.

My partner and her gal moved to my home last year at around November time just before christmas. Her sons also came to stay but through other reason kept swapping from house to house until they eventually stayed at there dads home. My partners gal was really cute and I would run after her and grab her, kiss her, hug her and play games like dads do. I have two of my own kids from a previous relationship so it came natural to me and I wanted to treat the gal as if she was my own. That I think was the big mistake when a jealous father is still on the scene, I do not think he did the cuddling stuff as much. He would often tell the gal that he was her dad and that I was not her dad. She would often tell me that I would get beat up by her dad when I did things that she did not take to.

She lived here until around june time and due to difficulties between me and my partner her home here was under threat because I wanted my independence back and I did not like being a family man. My partner walked out of the home thinking she could go to live back with the father which was a home he had left and later taken over again with his partner. It is a complicated setup. About a month went by and things started being said like I had been nasty to the girl being my partners daughter and eventually out of the blue she had said I had been doing rude things to her. My partner was back living with me at this time and she was looking for alternative accomidation so she could set up a new home for her and the kids. I was really angry about this and I kept trying to find help for being called such sick and slanderous names and phoned the police on many occasions but they never really helped. My partners ex husband had called me really sick things and said he was going to kill me if the police did not do anything but I just thought it was some way they could stop the mother from seeing her daughter. The weeks went by and the police had told me that they were not not investigating me for this sick accusation. My current partner is now living in a womens refuge so that she can get a place to live not through a violent relationship.

Last Tuesday morning I got a knock on the door and I looked out of the window to find two detectives, I asked who they were and they said the police. I opened the door and let them in only to find them requesting my computers etc. I was happy to hand them over knowing with confidence that there was nothing sick on them. There was also a camcorder with footage of our holiday on it which had some really happy moments on it. I got taken off to the police after being formally arrested and there I was held for many hours and being througly questioned over the aligations What really scares me is that the girl only six years old had made a statement that really was horrorfying and it really came out to destroy me. I can not even being to understand how a child could make such things up. I was later realeased on bail and asked to re-attend the police station in november this year. I am not worried about the outcome unless they think I was guilty and intend on charging me with the pathetic amount of evidence they have against me which is four statements. I am sorry to say this as well but I really dislike the girl now and I think there is something sinster about her or the people around her. My partner is still with me but she did say the other day that she became 95 percent sure I was innocent and I do not know if that other 5 percent is grounds for me to get rid of her. I am scared of my partner now and I think they are all twisted people but I am scared to get rid of her in case she trys to destroy me for having got rid of her. I never knew people were capable of conspiring against people in such a sick way. I will never see people in the same way again ever because of this but I do not want it to change who I am. I love kids and like being kind and caring towards them but one of my partners sons said I deserved what as happened to me for being the person I am.

The thing is what should I do now, I phoned up the UK's NAS hotline and they gave me a small list of solicitors of whom don't seem to have any concern about me. And a list of councilors what good will that do I do not know. Its not going to help with me being a victim and having been attacked in such a way. I have told all on here so that others who may have been through a similar thing can help me feel better because the idea of the worst case senario scares me to a living hell. I do not see any light at the end of all of this and its blown my life apart. I also have two kids who I love to bits and I could end up not being able to see them until they grow up. I should have seen all of this coming but I guess I did not want to. The good thing is that every day I feel much better and my mind is slowly emptying all of the concerns I have about my future. I also hope the people who did this will get there just deserts eventually in life.

I hope people can help me out with positive words and if you think I did do what I have been accused of please do not attack me as I have not been convicted of the accused crime.

as the defendant, can't you get your kids to testify to you?

I am very sorry to hear this....
Sad to think of all the people who DO do bad things and get away with it while innocent people are made to go through this sort of thing...I am a bit curious about the accusation.

I went through some bad stuff as a child at the hands of more than one person, and of the events that i remember, I tend to mull them over and over in my head to figure out the ways in which they might have been misunderstandings...or something....
I never had anyone accused or put into jail..and I never told my parents or anything....

Young children are easily manipulated...ideas can def. be put into their heads...especially when they are surrounded by somewhat twisted grownups.

The best of luck to you.

Thanks for you replies not many but still it helps. It had to me that this has happened to. Ill just keep looking for support. To the person who said can I use my kids to help defend me I wouldn't want to put them through it as they are far to young to be aware of such things and only by them being told of certain things I think would destroy the cloud of innocence my kids should have. Its even destroyed my world really as in I did not think could be manipulated or controlled and I did not think that parents could do such things to there kids. I keep my chin up and carry on through life I have to because I have much to live for.

Thanks anyway

Nebula

What a terrrible situation, nebula. One would think it wouldn't be the first time the police dealt with a false accusation, and that they probably have checks built into their system to detect such a thing. Good luck, you sound like someone who doesn't despair easily which is of course always a good thing .

that is the one of the worst things that could happen, I've never been accused of it, however when my daughter was in grade 5 she had a class mate (who she was sort of friends with), that accused the school janitor of taking her into the bushes around the school. This girl was a chronic liar so it wasn't surprising, however when we found out (from another parent who was volunteering in the office at the time) my wife refused to let her come over or ever be near me or her father alone, in case she decided to falsely accuse us of something similar.

this is why I'd never get involved with someone that already has kids.

The kid is probably not to blame, and there doesn't have to be a conspiracy. Even adults can be persuaded that they remember events that never happened. Children are more suggestible than adults. All it takes is the father being worried or wanting to believe that you would harm his daughter, and asking the girl repeatedly for anything he could construe as an assault. Even a kid without any evil intent can start picking up on what he wants to hear and produce more of the same. If he then takes anything negative she says for real, she can start believing it herself. There wouldn't be a conspiracy, only a nasty kind of wishful thinking on the father's part and suggestibility on the child's. I think the germ of the suggestion was already there when your partner and her daughter were still living with you, as the girl's father apparently had primed her to pay attention to anything you did that she didn't like (what I marked in bold).

Look up the work of Elizabeth Loftus. If you want me to look for some relevant information, send me a pm.

When a child (or adult) is persuaded to "remember" an assault that never happened, it is nasty for two reasons: someone innocent gets accused, and if the accusation is proven false, then the next real victim has a much harder time being believed.

Well not much longer now to wait to see what the police will decide to do to me November the 9th and I am counting down the days and what they decide will no doubt have a huge impact on my life. I was very close to suicide about 3 weeks ago but I have found that this as made me more strong willed to get out there and live.

I am still in a relationship with the girls mum and I will never go near the girl again. My partner as told me that the girl is saying that she hopes to see me again when she gets older which makes me tearful. I really liked the gal and treated her like a father yet that could have been the very thing that caused the dark minded father to create this sick fiction. He has tried at one point to make my partner doubt me by making up rumours about my past but it is sqeaky clean. I do keep imagining the worst though and keep thinking that the police will do anything to frame me. It was like they really believed that I had done it. People say why are yo u worrying if you know your innocent but its not that simple, I am living in a world that currently doubts me. I have been stripped of all my decency and the past experience was demoralizing. They have kept me waiting for a good month now and I have another 4 weeks or so to go till I have to appear back at the police station. Flashbacks will reduce me to a shivering wreak no doubt.

My relationship with the girls mum is uncertain as well but I fight to hold on to it. I told her last night when she came to stay that I was unsure about our futures and she even said herself that she will stay with me until it as all finished and that she would understand if I wanted to finish with her when it is all over. I am scared because deep in my heart and mind that she will always remind me of this situation and I will never completely get away from the father. I hate the people and I am constantly imagining all kinds of situations where I can get revenge. Even killing them would be a better scenario than the one I am in at this moment in time. I would rather be classed as a serial killer than a pervert of this magnitude.

For now keeping myself busy, excercise and music keep me going. Luckily I still see my kids which is the best thing ever. I will keep everyone updated about this so that they can avoid these things happening. We do need more help for people who are accused of such things because this as wounded me more than anyone could ever imagine.

I'm not all that familiar with UK laws, but you might be able to get something out of any legal protections passed for those with disabilities. If you were in the U.S. I would say file a discrimination lawsuit against the police station and the accusers based on the American Disability Act, but I'm not as sure with the U.K. legal system.

Is there any criminal legislation for harassment, slander, or discrimination you could resort to? Just find something that could be charged, and stick, then bug the police station until they do something about it. Make sure you get it in writing every time you go down there exactly what was talked about.

Nebula, my heart goes out to you. I have an uncle who was falsely accused of the same thing and it affected him greatly. This was upwards of over 10 years ago and I'm not sure how much he has really bounced back from it.

The thing is, I knew in my heart he did not do it. And, you are not being paranoid about the police or whatever prosecutorial system they have in the UK. Bad s**t happens to good people and I can only hope you are able to rise from this mess and glean something valuable or useful from this horrible situation.

I hope you are able to find a counsellor or someone able to help you with your situation and doesn't work for the prosecuting side.

Aspiefireman is going through false accusations as well. Perhaps you should pm him just to support each other.

I just thought that I would update everyone on whats been happening. I had to go to the police station on the 9th of November and I was told that my bail was altered to a later date being the 1st of March 2010 because they still have not got around to looking through my computer and there is a very big back log. Well since then I have just chilled out at last and I finally realized that I am not as doomed as I might have believed. My partners daughter who had been saying things as been living back with her mum for a good few months now and at last the other night had told her brothers that I hadn't done anything to her apart from rant/shout at her at times. She also said that her father and step mother with a mental illness BPD had asked her to say that I assualted her. My partner said she was going to phone the investigators up to tell them about what she had said but she could not get through to them so I am hoping she will get to speak to them soon.

So far I have gotten through this by keeping myself busy, going for walks, going to social groups for people with aspergers, going to the gym and weight lifting and doing cardo exercise, playing games on my xbox 360, talking to people family and aquaintences. I learnt so much and become a much stronger person by keeping strong in the face of such evil and twisted times and the truth always comes out in the end I have learnt. I am not sure if the police will listen to this change in information but as long as more people know that I am innocent the better.

The person who started these sick accusations has got BPD Borderline Personality Disorder and I cant stress enough that these people should be avoided like the plague. They are a virus in society and there dark and evil ways are very influencial over others. If someone ever tells you that they have BPD get away from them asap because they are what you see on flims such as basic instinct, the hand that rocks the cradle, single white female and many more.