Write-In Candidate

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I'm entering the political contest for President of the United States in 2008. If you feel that you can not vote for any of the other candidates, then write "FNORD" in the appropriate blank space on the ballot, and cast the appropriate vote.

I assert that I meet all the minimum requirements for a presidential candidate, under Section 1 of Article 2 of the U.S. Constitution, which states that a President must:

Be a natural born citizen of the united States (I was born in Chicago, Illinois, 1957)
Be at least 35 years old. (I am 51 years old, as of this post)
Have lived in the U.S. for at least 14 years (Overseas military duty does not count)

I further assert that I have never been convicted of a felony, I have never been declared mentally incompetent, and that I am not, in any way, being coerced or forced to declare my candidacy.

My platform is as follows:

Americans First: Legal citizens, whether native-born or naturalized, of the United States of America will receive the highest priority of any policy-making decision made during my administration. This means that If there is a choice between spending 700 billion dollars on a war that nobody wants, and spending 700 billion dollars on education, infrastructure, law enforcement, and medical care, I will deny funding to the war in favor of the aforementioned needs of Americans. Of course, this also means that the needs of anyone in this country illegally must take second place behind the needs of legal American citizens.

Education: Emphasis on the "Four R's", which being Reading, Writing, Arithmetic, and Reason. Any country, which citizens can not make reasoned and informed choices and then communicate those choices in a meaningful way, is sure to fail under an avalanche of illiteracy, inumeracy, and ignorance. Make English the official language of America.

Infrastructure: Transportation being the lifeblood of commerce requires that roads, railways, waterways, and airspace must be maintained and free of threats and hazards for the safe and secure passage of commercial goods and people.

Law Enforcement: Eliminate plea-bargaining. Try the crime, not the criminal. Place greater emphasis on material evidence rather then circumstance and hearsay. Multiple crimes are to be served consecutively rather than concurrently. Foreign nationals committing crimes on American soil will be tried and sentenced first in America, and then be deported to their native country only upon the full service of their sentences, or upon condition of release or parole.

Medical Care: Every legal citizen should be entitled to preventive and emergency health care at cost to the government. This means examinations, consultations, evaluations, innoculations, life-saving surgury, and basic health-related instruction will be billed directly to the American government (reconstructive surgury and prosthetics will also be paid for by the government, but elective cosmetic surgury will not). Foreign citizens requesting preventive care will be billed directly or their native country will be billed. Those foreign citizens requiring emergency care will have their medical costs billed to their native government.

Your future is in your hands.

Remember, you don't have to be crazy to vote for Fnord, but it never hurts!

Last edited by Fnord on 17 Oct 2008, 2:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Are you smarter than George Bush?

Good. You're qualified!

What's your policy on censorship, abortion, and gay marriage? And what about school choice?
And I don't think that English should be the official language, as we really need to respect diversity.

Censorship: Every adult is responsible for themselves. Parents or legally-appointed guardians are responsible for their children or wards. Thus, censorship of oneself and for oneself is a personal decision, while censorship on behalf of children or wards is the decision of the parent or legal guardian, only.

Abortion: Personally, the idea of abortion on demand is abhorant. But then, I am a man and can not become pregnant, so I would never need an abortion. In certain cases, such as when the unborn child poses a clear and immediate threat to the life of the mother, abortion may be the preferred option. Minors should have a parent or court-appointed legal guardian sign off on abortions; and for the cases where the girl would be in greater danger from the wrath of a parent or guardian, a "Sanctuary" program could be set up to provide a healthy, safe, and legal environment for the girl in question - she would become a ward of the State, if necessary. Again, the health and safety of the mother takes precedence, but only when the pregnancy itself presents a clear and immediate threat to the health or safety of the mother.

Gay Marriage: Gay people currently enjoy the same rights as straight people - any unmarried adult male can marry any unmarried adult female, provided both give their free-will and informed consent, and whether or not either party is gay. Thus, under current law, a gay or straight man can marry a gay or straight woman. There are no rights being denied, and no need to provide special rights to gays or straights. This is a non-issue, and should not be allowed to waste any more legislative time or tax dollars.

School Choice: First, under my administration, a school would not be certifiable if it did not meet the minimum standards for teaching literacy, numeracy, and critical thinking - these are the minimum tools necessary for making informed choices and eliminating ignorance, since any literate person can read, any numerate person can add things up, and any reasoning person can reach conclusions and make decisions. Second, there is no reason to limit the choices of schooling to a ramshackle dump that is staffed by cast-off teachers and short-sighted administrators. Third, we should force public schools to compete for funding based on the free-will, informed choice of the parents as to which school their children will attend. Charter schools and school vouchers are a good start, so lets force public schools to compete for their tax dollars with private schools, head-to-head.

This is the only point in your platform where I strongly disagree with you. Gays should have the right to marry, and there should be no legal distinction between heterosexual and homosexual couples.

BTW, what about taxes, fiscal and monetary policy, the current economic crisis, and the spiraling national debt? How will those be dealt with? What about marijuana legalization? Are there any programs you would eliminate?

Fnord-

As to the medical, throw in dental and you've got my vote

As to the school choice, it's hard for the public schools to compete with the private ones because the public school have to take any kid (since all citizens have a right to a free public education) while the private schools can be selective and reject troublemakers, less intelligent kids or special needs children. How will this be handled under your Administration?

Oh, BTW, I just got my absentee ballot in the mail today, so I may be one of your first voters. I wasn't going to vote for either Obama or McCain, anyway. Obama seems like a Socialist, and McCain picked Sarah the Psycho, noted wolficidal maniac, as his running mate so I can't vote for him now, either. There's nobody for me to vote for!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQobIUE1zTU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K37jm-un ... re=related

Last edited by KaliMa on 17 Oct 2008, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Under my administration, dental, medical, and mental issues will all be treated equally.


Allow public schools to expell troublemakers ... perhaps into a Public Works Administration, where they will learn that the penalty for expulsion is manual labor - maybe not hazardous or dangerous work, but if we put all the drop-outs to work in the fields, we might also solve the illegal immigrant problem, as well.


It is for people like you that I have entered the race - to provide an alternative to the Republocratic clones already on the ballot. Best Wishes!

I agree,

The original content seem to miss some words to make it right
"a gay or straight man or woman can marry a gay or straight man or woman". There are no rights being denied...... This is not an issue anymore.


Actually, if only straight couples can be legally married, then straight couples seem to have special rights over the other.

Taxes: An adjustable rate that starts at zero for the poverty level, and then increases asymptotically to one-third the gross income for individuals and corporations (a person would pay on the same schedule as a corporation). There would be no deductions, no joint filing, no waivers, or delayed payments. The taxation would be based solely on individual income, and not on extenuating factors...


Fiscal & Monetary Policy: Cut the foreign aid budget, and apply it instead to domestic aid. Let the world find out what it's like to get by without a hand-out from Old Uncle Sam! Let's make Defense Spending about Defending our country on our own soil, rather than imposing an Imperialistic policy upon those countries that are too weak to defend themselves. I'm sorry, but if there is only one thing to be learned from the current economic crisis, it's that too much money is being sent abroad to force other countries to see things our way, and too little money is being kept within our borders to provide paying jobs for people who can't obtain credit to buy the basic necessities of life: nourishing food, safe and secure housing, durable clothing, effective medical care, and essential transportation. People need jobs, so free up the bureaucracy to allow more people to be employed by the government in positions that restore our schools and infrastructure to safe and useable condition. True, these jobs would be labor-intensive, but people would be working and earning a living!

Marijuana: Medical Marijuana use has been demonstrated to be effective in many cases. Chronic pain from terminal illness; glaucoma; and geriatric dementia. Let's establish practical, useable standards that allow the use of this natural medication, instead of imposing restrictions that make its use illegal for those who need it. I've joked about the idea of making use on demand legal for anyone age 65 and over, but maybe it's time to stop joking and give it some serious consideration.

Cutting the Pork Fat: One of the programs that I would eliminate is Affirmative Action. It has been shown that the majority of students entering college on an Affirmative Action program drop out by the end of the first year. Also, Affirmative Action imposes racial and gender-base quotas on corporations doing business with the government, without giving priority to both the ability and willingness to perform the assigned tasks.

Other programs having to do with subsidies on agricultural products - tobacco in particular - would be eliminated, especially those enacted by previous administrations to compensate for economic conditions that no longer exist.

NAFTA and other free-trade agreements would have to be re-negotiated (to say the least) or eliminated entirely (to say the most). There is a distinct lack of an enforcable quid-pro-quo in each of these treaties, and this has contributed greatly to our national debt and outsourcing of jobs. "Made In USA" once meant something special. Today, it means something more like mid-rate, overpriced goods that are ten to twenty years behind the world market when it comes to innovation of technology.

Wow. This ranting has been fun. I've been wanting to get some of this off my chest for 30 years! It's about time for some real changes - changes that will secure Americas status as a world-class entity and ensure the health, saftey, and security of our citizens in the centuries to come.

Good Night, and Best Wishes!

-Fnord-

Overall seems decent. Would welfare programs be eliminated or changed?

Have you ever heard of Milton Friedman's Negative Income Tax proposal? That could be an interesting way of simplifying both the welfare and the tax systems and avoiding some of the current problems of both.

EDIT: Hey, can I be your running mate? You haven't chosen a VP yet!

My responses are in italics.

[i]
P.s. What about the genocide in Darfur?

Last edited by WillThePerson on 19 Oct 2008, 9:32 am, edited 2 times in total.

Well, I think the number is closer to 47, unless 7 states have managed to ban gay marriage twice (I'm sure some have tried ) . But I'm sure you meant to say 47.

Personally I feel that their should be no legal distinction between gay and straight marriages. In fact I think the only reason marriage needs to be legally recognized at all is to officially consider the 2 people as immediate family (for the purpose of inheritance, medical privileges, or even witness protection) . The bottom line is despite being a devote Christian I feel that marriage as a whole is a largely religious and cultural matter, and does not need the large level of legal recognition or regulation it has today.

I think that's the point he's trying to make...

Hey Fnord, do you have Cabinet members in mind?