Living as an autistic in Singapore

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Singaporean Autistic --- A Hard Life

Being a Singaporean and an autistic at the same time, it’s a hard life for us. We have to live through a lifetime of disappointments, pain and discrimination.

Our parents do not have the money, the time, or the know-how, to give us a full and comprehensive treatment that could maximize our potentials. We have to go through speech, play, exercise, and whatever therapy, just for a silver lining of hope. But hope? In what way it is hope? I only know there goes our parents’ hope of an early, well-deserved retirement – because they’ll most probably have to work harder and much longer, to take care of us even if we are high functioning (which I am). Some parents even divorce as a result.

In school, we suffered greatly. We do not have the social skills to get around attacks, verbal, physical or mental. Bullies see us as the lower species, judging out intelligence from our behavior which we have no control over. This is made worse by the media who portray autistics as people who will never be on par with normal people. We autistics eventually develop low self-esteem, or a “me against the world” attitude. Unfortunately, the anti-bullying campaign started very late. But some schools do not even implement it. Hearing stories from other autistics, I say the anti-bullying program was a failure. Thus Singapore has several generations of kids who will grow up into teenagers and adults who may end up in jail or in the Institute of Mental Health. Most of these are not even autistic!

I still wonder why did our country’s leader sent his autistic son to an international school that normal Singaporean can never attend. It’s simply not fair that he goes to some international school where they have facilities to accommodate autistics, while WE suffer so much in the mainstream…. He claims that our mainstream school cannot facilitate his son. Then he, as leader of the country, should implement change in the mainstream education system to accommodate both his son and us! I say it’s only fair that all of us autistics should be allowed a part in the mainstream life.

School was living hell for us. They instituted compulsory co-curricular activities which we are neither interested nor up to the task. There should be a more choices for all, normal and autistics. Autistics can contribute to society by doing what they are talented in, from, art, science, to even obscure interests like stamps or chess. (Very few schools outside the elite schools have such CCAs.) So our teachers hammer us, trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

The system forces Singaporean students, autistic or not, to do Project Work at both polytechnics and Junior Colleges. This is where we are victims of political maneuvering. They gang up on their autistic classmates to take credit for their hard work and to falsify their peer appraisals against us. Despite their disability, Autistics are hardworking and dedicated to our work. It's not fair for our classmates to do this.

For males, life is worse. All of us are subjected to two years of brainwashing and physical torture; National Service. I bring to the reader’s attention to male autistic Singaporeans, as males constitute three quarters of the autistic population globally. I am lucky to have survived NS with the help of supportive superiors. But lots of autistics are not that lucky. They are bullied, harassed and even beaten up while travelling home. To think the perpetrators are grown men who behave like school children. One autistic, who also survived NS, told me that there are many gang members in the SAF. Our society does not allow flexibility in autistics serving our country. They either serve it or be exempted or even expelled like a few of my friends.
And it is common sense here to know what happens when a guy gets exempted from NS.

Our employment situation is dire. 85% of autistic Singaporeans are unemployed. Even if we do get employed, Singapore is extremely vulnerable by both governmental and foreign decisions to develop any industry. Foreign companies, while still coming here with governmental support, such as those big pharmaceutical firms, come here with their countries’ research talents (not Singapore’s). Some local industries are still in their infancy and are vulnerable to foreign competition. I have a friend of mine who was retrenched from an animation company, Egg Story. just last year. The downfall of his company was due to the fact that our Singapore industry is unable to take shocks like the recent financial crisis. The Government should first support our local industries until they are ready to compete internationally before letting in foreign competition. In addition, the civil service has no clear public indication that autistics like me, even with their sub-par social skills, have a place to contribute to them. Where can we find our jobs?

With employment, NS and educational fundamental issues in our country, where can we Singaporean autistics find a place in society? Our society has to be more gracious and more sympathetic to not only autistics but to those with disabilities. Until then, I have put in motion, plans to leave this tiny island that others call home but I call it Hell on Earth.

The author is a Singaporean, diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.

aaronkok, it is known that aspies or anyone who falls into the ASD category have a hard time in Singapore and i believe it is the lack of understanding and tolerance.... I do not how to put this across to you without offending you but, girls have it worse sometimes =) (of course i am assuming you are a guy)

You might be thinking, "who the hell is this person?!". Okay, simply put, I am an aspie girl in Singapore, currently studying in SRJC taking BCME 4H2, taking the A levels this year. I have been bullied since the age of 5, nearly committed suicide at the age of 12 and is still going through the so-called hell in school. however that is not my point. I am here to say something about how I am still handling things to the best of my abilities despite this.

For teenage girls, we establish and maintain friendships through emotions. Given that a person with ASD have poor social skills, you can roughly know how hard it is for me to maintain friendships. I was able to with a number of close friends of both genders, both in secondary school and junior college. The only issue is, when to tell someone close to you that you are different and hoping that they will not reject you. Well, when I told people about my condition, most of them were shocked but all accepted this fact in a way of another. So I guessed I did not do so bad in 'covering up'.

On a similar subject, I had two boyfriends ( atypical of an aspie girl right?) and it was even harder because the guy will think that you are normal and when you are in love with someone, it becomes difficult to tell them anything and it is equally hard to understand them. And true enough, the first one lasted for three months, the latter, only one month plus. Even though there were other factors affecting the period of time that we were together, but from my side, a guy who would be together with me longer is the one who would understand the implications of having an aspie girlfriend. No prize for guessing who accepted the fact and who did not. The point I am making as, it is hard for girls to find a suitable partner in the long run.

On the part about PM Lee, you got to understand about his position. Firstly, there are many places that ASD kids or their parents can seek help from, whether it is locally or overseas and he is just doing what a very well-off Singaporean would do. Secondly, if his son was in the mainstream school at that point of time, he would have it real bad, bullying and all. Do not forget, he is an albino as well and that does not help matters. About changing the education system, it is a good point but what are the changes that you want to see? Are they feasible? Would the people accept? There is a school called Pathlight in Ang Mo Kio ( PM Lee's GRC) but that is only for the more serious cases and there is already discrimination against that school. The root cause was mentioned earlier in this post. If the current government can do anything, that would be public awareness.

so aaronkok, you seem to completely missed out the girls sections when you typed the post and I was pissed because it hinted something about yourself; a little ignorant and self-centered. I understood your view as I have brothers who also have ASD and my mother is worried about them, especially the part on NS. I hope that you would be able to understand what I am trying to say.

I am very glad I don't live in Singapore. I understand it is a very competitive country where students compete for limited places in university. Social status is based on education level so as an autistic person you should use this to your advantage and excel. If students try to copy your work my suggestion is keep a diary and show it to the teachers or lecturers at the end of semester.

I am sorry to hear the terrible stories, looks like internationally everyone bullies, takes advantage or ignore us.

it will continue till someone can do something... hmmm... copying work? haha that is an activity that we do to avoid trouble with the teachers ( yes i am guilty of this as well XD) so that is not an issue

I see

hehe that is Singaporeans for you cyberdad

While academically, Singapore is far more meritocratic in that respect, I wouldn't want to live there (along with Malaysia) permanently due to the hot weather and also the reduced tolerance for people with different Neurological conditions. I hope for stigma towards ASD individuals to decrease in the future, but I'm too tired to face all that crap as an adult, as bad as when I was a kid. If your parents can afford it, maybe you and aaron can come study in Australia! There's a lot of intolerance here too, but from experience it's easier to find a few people who you get along really well with.

Yes the quality of life, wide open spaces and fresh clean air are a great asset for Australia. I wouldn't trade that for the congested, noisy and polluted streets of Singapore and KL (Orchard Road in SG and Jalan Ampang in KL exempted).

I worked in Malaysia and Singapore in the early 1990s and appreciate that the people are very friendly and family orientated. The Malaysian and Singaporean community gives you a different vibe, the extended family provides a wonderful protective and comfortable environment for their kids and there is a sense the cultural environment is far more enriching and exciting than our boring sterile Melbourne. I really enjoyed my time there.

I wouldn't imagine it'd be easy living as an outsider in an authoritarian country like Singapore at the best of times, never mind as an autistic.

Keep your chin up as best you can.

Are there any Singaporean autism boards where you could hang out, lah?

Not sure it's that bad. Certainly the attitudes toward disability are different, but people are very polite and appear tolerant.

Hello.

I can imagine, and understand that kind of experiences, especially you are from one of several certain countries in the Far East...( I have no good impression on that type of countries )

May I put your post here please? For it is relevant.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf163725-0-15.html

Please inform me if you would like to permit me to do so. Or would you like to do it yourself please?

Thank you very much for it, I am looking forward for your reply.

Hello, could you as a courtesy indicate if you are directing this at the OP or another poster as most of us do not have ESP.

Oh, I am sorry for it..

I mean the OP.

hi Aaron and everyone..

Saw your post (yes I know it's 2012 already) and I haven't been around here all that too often.

From Singapore too and yes it's tough being an Aspie here.


Hope to hear some responses. And, I'm "high functioning" too .. look "normal" etc, but have anxieties and difficulties socialising - usually awkward.

I sometimes wonder, what is worse:

Discrimination against Aspies in Asia (our home), or Discrimination against Asians in a land more tolerant of Aspies?

From my own experiences living in both Singapore and other countries more accepting of autism, I guess both are bad, but it really stings a little more to feel like an outcaste at home. We try to understand the predicaments of those in power and those who are females. For those who are females, I admit I will never get a complete viewpoint from them for now, but certainly females have roughly the same predicaments as male Aspies. As for those in power, we tried our best to accomodate, but if we can't, there is nothing much we could do but to accept things as they are.

I guess skribble knows how I feel

Im a Chinese-Australian who has Singaporean ancestory on my father's side. I've visited the country many times, (have relatives over there) and I'm really shocked to hear these sorts of things going on.

With the high academic culture and interest in introverted activities like watching movies, computers and video games, I'd imagine Singapore to be more tolerant of AS in my opinion.

It sounds very similar to what I experience in Australia from the ignorant NTs.

I guess it's the same mentality throughout any country in the world. "If your not with us, your our enemy"