Should I live this site?

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It seems I'm the only person here who actually wants to be cured. I'm not proud of being alienated from the rest of humanity and not able to connect with others on a deeper level.

Does anyone know of an online forum for people who support the search for a cure? I don't think I'm welcome here...

hiya Nerdtopia welcome to our cool club btw, what about this site makes you feel unwelcome? my suggestion would be to give us a proper chance before you kick us to the curb.

There have been other polls here about if people would take a cure or not. They were about 50/50. I've also found that the general forums at the top tend to be more anti-cure than the coping with life forums.

I've also noticed that there is a more stark contrast. The general forums tend to portray AS in a much more positive light than the coping with life.

I once opined that I could read 50 posts here in one forum about how AS is what makes someone special and it's great, then in two clicks, read 50 posts about how AS is aweful and people want to die.

Well, a workable cure for autism wouldn't be through pills or medicine, so if that's what you are looking for, then good luck. Autism is complex, and its causes are multi-faceted. Genetics or biology is only one part of the big picture.

It's not that I don't want a cure, it's just that there isn't one and so I might as well wish for a magic pill that tastes like chocolate and makes me thin. I don't love having AS, but there is nothing I can do about it and so I try and search out any positives that I can, which I think is the approach of many people here.

Whilst there are many aspects of AS that quite frankly I could do without, there are other aspects that I am glad I have - my hyper focus for example. Every moment of time I spend outside my house is a nightmare for me, but once I am in my house with the curtains closed with my books, I am happy. I see how dissatisfied many NTs are with their lives, and I feel lucky that I am happy with my books and knitting.

I definitely don't think you should leave - there is room here for everyone. We all have different experiences of AS and we are all entitled to our own opinions and our own experience.

You'll find kindred spirits here, believe me. Joe90 has serious autism issues so you and her can relate well together. I, myself, have mixed feelings about it. No, I don't like being abnormal and different, but yes, I do like being a writer and sometimes musician. No, I don't like spending day after day after day in utter and complete isolation and being a social reject, but I like this site because it tends to be non-judgmental.

I don't mind being a "weirdo," but I wish I could do it in peace. It seems the hardest part is having to deal with the "normies," or NTs.

It would be nice if there was a switch where I could turn it off and on as I pleased. That way I could gain all the social benefits and perks of being neurotypical without losing the benefits of AS.

What are the benefits you ask? As oblivious and awkward as we may be socially, I feel that had I been born neurotypical there'd be other things that I'd be oblivious to, such as the ugly side of NT behavior which they seem unable or unwilling to question. Perhaps I'd be blissfully ignorant, but I think the downside is that I'd be more emotional to the point of throwing out logic and reason, less observant of that which was going on, more easily persuaded and led, less of an ability to think for myself, and so on. There are aspects about NT behavior which I think I understand in theory but don't come naturally to me, and quite frankly, I find downright appalling. Every bone in my body tells me certain behaviors just aren't right, even if everyone else engages in them naturally and unquestioningly.

I'm not trying to stereotype the NTs, but I think because of our position we are actually better able to observe and find fault with some of the cardinal rules of social behavior that the NTs wouldn't dare question or defy. And I don't know at this point in life if I'd want to give that all up to be neurotypical. I don't think I'd even be the same me.

Basically, I wish we could be ourselves minus the social problems.

There just seems to be a lot of animosity towards people and organizations that support a cure. I support Autism speaks and most people here seems to hate them with a passion

You could still be this things if you were NT. A lot of the so called "positive effects of Aspergers" often also exists in NTs. So I don't see what one could lose by being cured. I don't think the talents I have are because of my diagnosis, and even if they were I would gladly give them up to be able to connect with other people the way NTs do.

Yeah, you can have musician or writer skills as a NT. But it's kinda like saying you can have social skills as an autistic. When writing is one of your obsession, there's pretty much all chances that you would be worst at it as a NT since you would probably be less obsessed by it. Not a general rule, but...

Very true......black and white thinkers we are.

yes, there is a bit of a schism between those who reject and those who embrace "holland."

I have lived in this world for more than 60 years. From what I have seen and what I have learned I can tell you this....

1. The possibility of a cure that really works especially for anyone already born - is so near non-existent as to be not worth worrying about. Yes, the medical community may be able in the near future design a test for a certain gene mutation that occurs at conception that leads to a small fraction of the severe Autistic births - and then abort those children - (somehow, I believe that is not what you have in mind when you speak of a cure). For the vast majority of us on the spectrum the best science strongly indicates that our makeup comes from a large number of genes that seem to be well spread out over our genome.

2. If you are looking for a drug base cure - I can tell you that the probability is very high that the side effects will be worse than the "disease" even if it manages to effect something like a cure. We see this in schizophrenia - My wife works in the mental health field so I know and know of several schizophrenics and the reason most go off their medication is that as a rule they find the side effects of the drugs worse than suffering the disease. I know of several adults who refuse to take medication for their ADHD - again the reason cited most often - Side effects are worse than the ADHD.

3. Now for the most important thing I have learned - Your life is passing - you have just one shot at it - and you can sit and wait for a cure that will likely never come - or you can decide to go out and live it and enjoy it!! ! Yes, you and I are by most people idea - an odd ball - so what - I have decided to take my bite out of life - I am not waiting for anything before I do what I want to do after all I do not have that many more years - this is what I have been teaching my son.

4. A little something I have learned over the years of watching the NT world around me. They are as screwed up as we are! They are no more likely to be happy than we are. So here's the kicker - If the miracle of miracles happens and you do get the cure - and it is real - you are no more likely to be happy then as you are now. So figure what will make you happy - and repeat as many times as possible before the grim reaper finds you.

I can make some suggestions on how to proceed - Find and make friends with others of your kind. H**l, every race, nationality, religious and other group does this ---- IT is high time that the Apers and Auts do the same. Yes, you will probably not like every other person you find on the spectrum - but guess what --- the same is true for NTs as well, no NT likes all other NTs. Friends are best in small numbers so finding them is not that hard after all. In fact once you stop expending all your effort to fit in with the NTs around you, spend a little effort at finding others on the spectrum you will find them. One place to start searching is Google - search for "Asperger's Meetup" and your location.

If you still want to wait for a cure ---- Autism Speaks will gladly take your money

Okay, first of all, I think you mean should I leave this site and the answer to that is yes.

People here hate autism speaks for a good reason. If they had their way I wouldn't exist, my sister wouldn't exist and none of my friends would exist. The fact that you would support an organization that aims to (in autism speaks' own words) "eradicate" this group of fantastic, wonderful, beautiful people utterly repulses me.

So my friend, yes, it probably would be advisable to find a site that better caters for self-loathing pessimists such as yourself.

not everyone here hates autism speaks you just need to find the right crowd to chat with

There are many Autistics on this site THAT hold similar views as you do.

They are numerous and easy to engage.

Also, being pro-cure, anti-cure, or indifferent to a cure is only one of many broad topics up for discussion on WrongPlanet. Unless, this is ALL you want to discuss, it's a place where you can connect, learn, and grow.

Welcome to the forum.

TheSunAlsoRises