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GoofyGreatDane
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24 May 2016, 12:52 pm

Opinions?
http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2016/05 ... s-and.html

Supposedly men with aspergers are sexual deviant pedophilic stalkers that commit "antisocial acts" due to having no capacity for empathy.



TheAP
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24 May 2016, 4:47 pm

I don't think it was talking about all people with Asperger's, just saying that these problems do occur.



ASPowerationsReturns
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25 May 2016, 1:44 am

I have so many problems with this article, I'm not sure I can list them all without forgetting a few.

1) The article suggests that romantic/sexual relationships are of the form "Man wants sex, woman may or may not be interested."

2) The article does not mention the fact that in our society, courtship is based on deception and plausible deniability.

3) The article dodges the real issue of the intersectionality between ASD and awkward sexual advances by avoiding the following issues: Much of the courtship process involves either lying about the sexual nature of your intentions or limiting your statements so that if you decide to lie about it later, you can do so without contradicting yourself. People rarely state this fact explicitly, and we have a particularly hard time learning things that are not explicitly stated.



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25 May 2016, 6:48 am

There are enough cavaets to make the case that the article is not offensive. Whether the caveats are there to deflect attention from the authors belief that these are core wrongs about bieng HFA/ Aspie or the author really believes the "some" and "might" that are used are beyond my mind reading abilities.


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YippySkippy
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25 May 2016, 7:02 am

Quote:
2) The article does not mention the fact that in our society, courtship is based on deception and plausible deniability.

3) The article dodges the real issue of the intersectionality between ASD and awkward sexual advances by avoiding the following issues: Much of the courtship process involves either lying about the sexual nature of your intentions or limiting your statements so that if you decide to lie about it later, you can do so without contradicting yourself. People rarely state this fact explicitly, and we have a particularly hard time learning things that are not explicitly stated.


That's not how normal, mature, healthy relationships work. Just because you saw it on The Bachelor doesn't mean it's so.



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25 May 2016, 8:04 am

i didnt read at any point people with autism/aspergers were explicitly called sexual deviants.the article seemed ti imply that people with asd's dont hide there intentions as well.

but still i did find the article overly negative because not all people with asd's are that blunt sexually anyway most are to reserved if anything at all.it was a dumb article


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BuyerBeware
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25 May 2016, 4:22 pm

Be as offended as you want; it's pretty accurate.

I was lucky-- I'm female. I just got to get repeated accused of leading guys on (or cheating or playing the field) because I thought conversation was just conversation, a cigarette (or 30 over the course of a term) was just a cigarette, and going out to shoot pool was going out to shoot pool, wherein we would take turns paying for games, buy our own Cokes, and the only sticks and balls involved would be the ones knocking around the table.

Stupid girl.

My dad had a horrible time figuring out how to approach women as anything other than friends. He A
WANTED to, he just couldn't figure out HOW. Most of the time, all he could do was either pretend to have only a platonic interest (very frustrating) or flat-out tell them he wanted to date/have a sexual relationship/court with the intention of marriage (it was always about 'with the intention of marriage,' he could appreciate a nice body walking down the street, but not stomach the idea of casual sex or have sex without getting profoundly attached).

It's not about saying young male Aspies are all stalkers and rapists.

It's about saying the vast majority of us, male and female, have to be taught how to correctly engage in flirting/dating/courtship behavior.

And how to recognize it, at least in my case. I still can't. It doesn't matter any more, because I'm out of the dating pool FOREVER (if he divorces me tomorrow, I'm taking a vow of celibacy, because f**k that s**t or better yet, don't). Except when some dick doesn't notice, or acknowledge, the ring, and then suddenly I'm once again getting accused of something I didn't even think about doing.


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YippySkippy
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25 May 2016, 6:18 pm

Quote:
I was lucky-- I'm female. I just got to get repeated accused of leading guys on (or cheating or playing the field) because I thought conversation was just conversation, a cigarette (or 30 over the course of a term) was just a cigarette, and going out to shoot pool was going out to shoot pool, wherein we would take turns paying for games, buy our own Cokes, and the only sticks and balls involved would be the ones knocking around the table.


Wait, what? There's something more going on? :lol:
I was the same way. I only knew guys were interested with 10 years hindsight.



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25 May 2016, 9:21 pm

I have some familiar issues and misgivings about the hidden assumptions in the article:

Quotations are in bold text, my response is in italics:

The degree of skill in this area varies among "typical" people, but those with AS and HFA are outside the normal range

[Note the writer's choice of 'normal' instead of neurotypical - her usage is a blatant example of "the tyranny of normal"; secondly note the sly conflation of 'typical' with 'normal']

Many are over-sensitive to criticism and suspicious of others.
[lacking context: many NTs exhibit these characteristics, though this is by-passed completely]

Some have a history of rather bizarre antisocial acts (perhaps because of their lack of empathy).

[The old canards reaffirmed - they lack empathy/they are all the same/some of them are very dangerous to we normal people]

Their social behavior is peculiar and naive.

[They are intrinsically inferior because they don't conform to our way of doing things - therefore they are "peculiar" eg freaks. Tautology.]

They do not have the intuitive knowledge of how to adapt their approaches and responses to “fit in” with the needs and personalities of others.

[The consistent use of they they they reinforces the writer's divisive philosophy of them and us, normal and abnormal, they are lesser and less human than us] Also note her usage of "others" when she is really referring to neurotypicals. There is also the implication that everyone has a duty to fit in with the 'normals'.

They may be aware of their difficulties – and even strive to overcome them – but in inappropriate ways.[/i]
[Even the more aware ones are stupid and peculiar, they are all inappropriate however they act]

The whole piece is an exemplar of what is called "othering". The writer lacks any perspective beyond her extreme bias of Them (the freaks) and Us (the normals).

No wonder that neurodiverse populations have higher suicide rates. Othering is vicious and endemic. Initially I thought the article had been written by an aggrieved parent. I was more shocked when I realised that it had been written by a professional touting his services. Shocked, but not surprised..



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25 May 2016, 9:30 pm

Seems pretty accurate. Of course it didn't mean to generalize that behavior to all aspies, it's just what kinds of things might come up.



vermontsavant
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26 May 2016, 4:57 am

i still think a lot of aspies are if anything to reserved and not awkwardly aggressive


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08 Jun 2016, 10:12 pm

I am actually the opposite. I am gray-asexual so don't really care that much about sex. It seems like many aspies are asexual.

Any type of sexual situation makes me nervous and uncomfortable. This however, is not a side of AS you hear much about.

I am absolutely NO interest in porn, which is the opposite of what is article implies. But again, the article appeared to be referring to males, and I am a cisgender female.


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09 Jun 2016, 11:46 am

B19 wrote:
...
They may be aware of their difficulties – and even strive to overcome them – but in inappropriate ways.[/i]
[Even the more aware ones are stupid and peculiar, they are all inappropriate however they act]

The whole piece is an exemplar of what is called "othering". The writer lacks any perspective beyond her extreme bias of Them (the freaks) and Us (the normals).

No wonder that neurodiverse populations have higher suicide rates. Othering is vicious and endemic. Initially I thought the article had been written by an aggrieved parent. I was more shocked when I realised that it had been written by a professional touting his services. Shocked, but not surprised..


Thank you for this analysis. It explains why I was bothered by the article.



Unfortunate_Aspie_
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13 Jun 2016, 1:17 pm

ASPowerationsReturns wrote:
1) The article suggests that romantic/sexual relationships are of the form "Man wants sex, woman may or may not be interested."

Isn't it though? :lol:
ASPowerationsReturns wrote:
2) The article does not mention the fact that in our society, courtship is based on deception and plausible deniability.

I don't understand this- please elaborate. That seems very... cynical and creepy.
Deception. Plausible deniability??



frag
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18 Jun 2016, 3:50 pm

I'm sure there have been situations of social clumsiness and also involuntary semi-stalking with teen aspies... but probably more common they really dare not seek much contact if they start failing, and feel sad about it.

The worst in the article is the part where it seems like it is common that autistic people are pedophiles and fetishists. That absolutely does not belong there. Like "Hey I'll read about what happens to my autie kid at puberty.... oh hell he might become a pedo!" That helps no one... There is a much greater "risk" they are gay but it says nowhere.

Also.. um girls can actually also fall in love/lust... or maybe they cannot be autistic... heck if I know.

Also I miss the part where many autistic people develop relationships that are actually good. Or it never happens? I swear I've seen it...