We need to stop just accepting that they think we have no...

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CharityGoodyGrace
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19 Jul 2017, 9:21 pm

feelings.


We need to ask them why they think that, and help them with their unhelpful thinking style. We mustn't just enable them by letting them continue to think this unchallenged; it isn't helping them and it certainly isn't helping us. I am TIRED of people assuming due to my diagnosis that I have blunted feelings or something.



Jesus Sperg
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20 Jul 2017, 6:03 am

CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
feelings.


We need to ask them why they think that, and help them with their unhelpful thinking style. We mustn't just enable them by letting them continue to think this unchallenged; it isn't helping them and it certainly isn't helping us. I am TIRED of people assuming due to my diagnosis that I have blunted feelings or something.

But a symptom IS blunted feelings (personal attack deleted)



CharityGoodyGrace
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20 Jul 2017, 6:07 am

I have a site B19 wanted me to add to this thread and I think it's a good one... https://karlamclaren.com/2015/02/02/aut ... ay-people/ It's about how we have complex and intense thoughts and feelings, whether we recognize it or not, just like everyone else.



CharityGoodyGrace
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20 Jul 2017, 2:38 pm

As you you, Jesus Sperg, if you're even serious... and that is, ONLY if you're serious... you probably mean that you have trouble identifying and being able to express and then solve the problems (relationship issues like loneliness included) behind your feelings, so it seems to you you have no feelings.

But if you're going to tell people you have no feelings, don't come crying back to us saying people treat you like an untermensch.



BuyerBeware
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20 Jul 2017, 4:57 pm

I'm pretty sick of that myself.

I have, thanks folks, a full range of human emotion. I've learned to ACT like I don't have feelings because mine don't manifest on the same timetable, or at the same observable intensity, as "normal" people's, and therefore I get reprimanded for any display of emotion. So, I've learned to look numb, mouth the appropriate words, and then celebrate alone (or cry into my pillow).

If I were a neurotypical woman, this would be called "emotional abuse." Since I'm not, it's called "learning social skills." Yes, it makes me pretty angry. But-- whatever. I can try to be kind and tolerant toward other people who don't adhere to the socially approved range. I can't change the world-- just try to survive in it.


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Jesus Sperg
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20 Jul 2017, 6:26 pm

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CharityGoodyGrace
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11 Aug 2017, 11:43 pm

I'd rather people think I have inappropriate, even dangerous, feelings than have people think I have none. Which is more dangerous for me too.



Marknis
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11 Aug 2017, 11:46 pm

CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
I'd rather people think I have inappropriate, even dangerous, feelings than have people think I have none. Which is more dangerous for me too.


I never got the impression you didn't have feelings, Charity. I see a lot of warmth in your posts. Anyone who can't see that is at fault, not you.



Voxish
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12 Aug 2017, 5:41 am

Marknis wrote:
CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
I'd rather people think I have inappropriate, even dangerous, feelings than have people think I have none. Which is more dangerous for me too.


I never got the impression you didn't have feelings, Charity. I see a lot of warmth in your posts. Anyone who can't see that is at fault, not you.



I concur 8)


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CharityGoodyGrace
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07 Sep 2017, 10:19 pm

Voxish wrote:
Marknis wrote:
CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
I'd rather people think I have inappropriate, even dangerous, feelings than have people think I have none. Which is more dangerous for me too.


I never got the impression you didn't have feelings, Charity. I see a lot of warmth in your posts. Anyone who can't see that is at fault, not you.



I concur 8)

OMG, thanks so much, you guys. I love everyone here, even the people who don't recognize feelings in themselves and others. :)



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09 Sep 2017, 2:11 pm

If you read the Markrams, and this is entirely consistent with me, is that we feel far too much. The neurotypicals see blunted affect because many of us shut it down in order to cope, and think we have no feelings.

I feel very deeply. I have many doubts that what I feel maps on to English vocabulary very well (with notable exceptions such as fear), but I have very intense feelings. I tend not to show them to the outside world any longer.


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noteasybeinggreen
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10 Sep 2017, 3:00 am

Niall wrote:
If you read the Markrams, and this is entirely consistent with me, is that we feel far too much. The neurotypicals see blunted affect because many of us shut it down in order to cope, and think we have no feelings.

I feel very deeply. I have many doubts that what I feel maps on to English vocabulary very well (with notable exceptions such as fear), but I have very intense feelings. I tend not to show them to the outside world any longer.


Agreed, this is definitely the case for me. I don't think in language, but in pictures, so I know my feelings don't map to language very well.



hurtloam
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10 Sep 2017, 4:59 am

I feel deeply too.

But I think what they mean is we are more liable to not pick up on other people's body language and misinterperate their emotions, which makes us seem cold.

It we value facts over emotions and will tell someone straight what the facts are regardless of how this will affect them emotionally.

I see a lot of post on here berating NTs for valuing emotion over facts.

That can make us seem like we don't have emotions.



Justgeorge
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12 Sep 2017, 10:59 am

I agree with the sentiment of the OP, and would take it a step further and say i would like to be treated like a human instead of a list of symptoms.



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12 Sep 2017, 11:36 am

I'm perfectly fine being seen as an emotionless robot, it means less random human contact and that's a positive as far as I'm concerned. I realized when I was a child that for every thousand people I meet there are less than a handful worth my time and multitudes more that are downright destructive in their attention seeking. No thank you, I'll take my 'robotic' life and be perfectly happy in my hermitude-- after all, when the unsustainablity of the societies around me finally reach their tipping point it will be those that adapted to independence who survive.



CharityGoodyGrace
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16 Sep 2017, 9:02 pm

Aristophanes, maybe people just hurt you too much and you're rebelling? That *is* emotion.