Women and autism TEDxtalk

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Hey everyone! It has been quite a while since I have been here, but I simply had to share this with an appropriate audience to get your feedback!



I recently had the honour of giving a TEDx talk in Münster this year. I felt that being honest about certain things would be therapeutic for me, and it was! However, I want to hear from other people - both men and women - what do you think about the talk and what I said? Unfortunately, I fear that neurotypical feedback will be largely superficial, so I want to know if you agree or disagree with what I said.

Having new perspectives on this will be fantastic

Hi Saraip, I haven't seen you post here in a while, it's good to have you back. Your talk seemed fine to me, I don't have any feedback, well done.

Hi Jono!
Yeah - it is a place that I can't really ever leave... there's just too much understanding and kindness here!

[quote="Jono" Your talk seemed fine to me, I don't have any feedback, well done.[/quote]

Thanks so much

Great talk, thanks for sharing.
Loved the way you structured it - I could see the audience at the start looking puzzled and embarrassed and how that changed to nods and smiles as they began to understand.
I think you've enlightened a few people with this.

Thank you for sharing this, it was beautiful.

I suspect I could possibly be autistic, but am not diagnosed. I joined WP a few months ago and have been lurking since my welcome post. I absolutely loved your talk. It prompted me to make my second post!

I don’t wear make up. I don’t do anything with my hair (well, I wash and brush it, but most people style and straighten etc). I wear comfortable clothes. These are comments about me, which I mention because you mentioned these things at the beginning of your talk and I related to them.

I had never heard about struggling to do chores in relation to autism. I have always struggled. Most of the time I am completely useless. I get distracted by something more fun (anything is more fun than chores so this happens a lot!). Even when I’m not distracted, it takes me forever. I struggle to work the appliances and I do things the wrong way. I would much rather play video games!

Putting objects in the cupboard... I am bad at putting the shopping away! I can’t pack the bags properly at the supermarket. I have to leave it all to my husband because he gets so frustrated that I put it in all wrong!

Sorry for waffling on about me, but I just really enjoyed your talk, and could relate to it.

I don’t have feedback on the dating side because for some reason I didn’t struggle with dating and I’m married now (although I can relate to wanting a date with no talking, and wanting a verbal warning before physical contact!).

I might even show this to my family if I choose to tell them (I haven’t talked to anyone yet) because I think I see myself more in your talk than any others I have seen.

Thanks very much for posting and I’m glad I logged on today and didn’t miss it.

So glad that you enjoyed it - I'm glad that I could share the message a little

Am so glad to hear that, and thank YOU for sharing your experiences because it also helps *me* to feel like "OMG, so I wasn't just making stuff up - people *do* actually relate to what I am going through!"

And I feel you on the shopping - took me six hours to finally leave the house to do laundry yesterday, did some shopping on the way and the shopping is still unpacked



I think that if you are in a less hostile social environment, it is easier to get into the dating scene. I'm actually worried now that I have just been alone for so long that I am no longer able to accomodate another person in my life, but only time will tell

You're talk was wonderful! I related to the video so much, I've never understood why I was expected to feel nurturing toward everything under the sun. I've also started teaching myself to code in the hopes of finding people who would be super impressed with my skills and decide to be my friend. I went about making friends almost the same way you went about dating, what you were describing sounded so familiar that I thought for a moment that you were reading my mind. I think I even have that same dress in green!

Anyway, congratulations on your amazing video! You look so confident in front of so many people, I could never do something like that!

I love this so much - and honestly, I fully agree!


I can assure you that you will meet some fascinating people - and I believe that most people who learn to code automatically learn to understand the way that our minds work and become much more understanding.

It feels so good to know that we have so much in common (including amazing dress sense!) - I am feeling quite isolated at the moment and even when I do manage to connect with a real human, I seem to put them off

Ahh.... I must admit, I don't think I was all that confident - I just reached a level of frustration and believed that there was no other way to get this message across. I've *really* tried to explain this to people over and over again and I always get cut off. No more!

I can assure you that you will meet some fascinating people - and I believe that most people who learn to code automatically learn to understand the way that our minds work and become much more understanding.

It feels so good to know that we have so much in common (including amazing dress sense!) - I am feeling quite isolated at the moment and even when I do manage to connect with a real human, I seem to put them off

Ahh.... I must admit, I don't think I was all that confident - I just reached a level of frustration and believed that there was no other way to get this message across. I've *really* tried to explain this to people over and over again and I always get cut off. No more! [/quote]

I admit it's taking me a really long time to teach myself useful code, my attention span is atrocious! I did sign up for some kind of Google scholarship though so hopefully I get that. I think I learn better with some structure.

Just going by your video, I would say we have a ton in common, so feel free to pm if you ever feel like you need to make a connection with a real person. I have problems with this too, especially irl.

Hehe! This talk is fab! I saw so much of myself in this. Dating in absolutely horrible. I tried all the tinder and POF etc when all my friends were excited about their dates I was dreading them. Like you, I was always 'too intelligent ' 'too quirky' Totally gave it all up and by accident found a guy that totally rocks my socks and happily the feeling is mutual! All the 'personal' touchy things, were on the same page etc. excellent talk. Well done

I love hearing that people managed to get by with a little bit of luck Glad you enjoyed the talk! Dates can be absolutely terrifying - and worse still, telling people that you are terrified rarely goes down well. Enjoy not having to go through it