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Website against Asperger's Syndrome: HeartlessAspergers.com

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firemonkey
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30 Jun 2019, 3:15 am

I'm very suspicious of a person whose second post here is to praise a site many people here find very negative and unsupportive towards those of us on the spectrum.



Benjamin the Donkey
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01 Jul 2019, 11:11 am

B19 wrote:
norwegiansun wrote:
the haters claim: "Neurotypicals know themselves "

NO!! ! ! NEUROTYPICALS DO NOT KNOW THEMSELVES!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


I tend to agree with you there. The superficiality in the NT planet is popular with many because they judge by appearances and skim the surface of things, often mistaking it for the substance. Knowing oneself is a challenge for all, and I have a theory about that. To me, a person is four fold - the physical, the psychological, the emotional, the soul (soul not in the religious sense but as the source of deepest feeling, creativity and insight. As I see it, every person has there own preferred locus which becomes paramount in the way they live their lives - for some it is the body; for some the mind (psychological). For some the emotional, and for some the soul - though the latter are far fewer in number. And the profiles of NTs vis a vis AS people in which locus is predominant would be very different I think. Generally AS people don't care for superficiality or life on the surface (though some do).

The more people live on the surface, in my experience, the more judgmental they are, and less informed their judgments are. The one good thing about hateful websites is the examples of this that they provide, a clear example of that kind of human being. It is good to be aware of them, and how they think (and hate) for they will always be around, always have been. Another of their hallmark behaviours is projection: they typify the old saying about "point a finger at someone else and three point back to yourself". Very judgemental, superficial people have one major habit in common, and it is blaming others for their own anger, disgruntlement and contempt. They are miserable people, often poisoned by their own toxicity, though they can almost never see that.


While I don't agree that all NTs are miserable, I do think that most of us know ourselves better than they do--if only because they've never had their way of being called into question.


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Joe90
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01 Jul 2019, 12:19 pm

What angers me about the site is not the site itself but the way it's written. It's the angriest thing I've ever read, and very overexaggerated. It's nice to have articles and tips about how to cope in Aspie/NT relationships, but this heartlessaspergers site is NOT ideal to get tips, advice or information about Asperger's people. The whole site is basically saying "NTs are the perfect party and Aspies are the problem". That isn't the best way to give information about a certain group of people. It just adds to the stigma against autistics.

It's also annoying how in almost every paragraph she repeats herself, to drum it into people how heartless Aspies are, even though we are not heartless at all.

I mean, if your spouse has been diagnosed with dementia, would you want tips or advice from a site written by some angry individual who had a bad experience with a dementia spouse and has exaggerated the whole thing in a misleading way that gives a bad name for people living with dementia? No, you wouldn't. You'd rather go to a library or a medical website that empathises with dementia patients and how to understand them and form a mutual understanding in order to keep up a loving relationship.

I wish they'd take this hateful site off the web. It's harming our reputation.


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kraftiekortie
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01 Jul 2019, 1:36 pm

I would bet that at least 95% of the people on the Internet don't even know the "heartless Asperger" site exists. And that of the 5% who do, at least 95% don't even care about it. It's obvious it's an idiot site.



Joe90
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01 Jul 2019, 5:51 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would bet that at least 95% of the people on the Internet don't even know the "heartless Asperger" site exists. And that of the 5% who do, at least 95% don't even care about it. It's obvious it's an idiot site.


But she claims she is a therapist who works with autism. So people might take her site more seriously if they know that.


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kraftiekortie
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01 Jul 2019, 6:09 pm

I don't believe any serious therapist would take that Site seriously.



Magna
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01 Jul 2019, 7:47 pm

firemonkey wrote:
I'm very suspicious of a person whose second post here is to praise a site many people here find very negative and unsupportive towards those of us on the spectrum.


I agree with you, firemonkey. I only perused the heartless site and its vitriolic agenda. It's funny, because I found the site to be heartless against autistic men.

To Wittgensteiner: The heartless site, from what I recall, portrayed autistic men as incapable of having healthy relationships with others and incapable of contributing meaningfully to the wellbeing of NT women. The site is written as if these falsities are a foregone conclusion. With that said, Wittgensteiner, how can one "improve", as you say?

I can say with certainty that my PhD autism therapist who specializes in working with autistic adults does not share the views of the creator of that site, nor do her colleagues.

I have been married for 18 years.

I don't have a problem with someone creating a site and sharing their own personal opinion, even if jaded, ignorant, inaccurate and angry as long as the person makes it clear that they're sharing their opinion. However, posing as an authority and using that as a means for spreading their hatred under the guise of selflessly 'helping others' is as bad as others have said. It's defamatory, it's flat out wrong to vilify an entire group of people based on one's personal experience.



Wittgensteiner
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02 Jul 2019, 2:11 pm

Magna wrote:
firemonkey wrote:
I'm very suspicious of a person whose second post here is to praise a site many people here find very negative and unsupportive towards those of us on the spectrum.


I agree with you, firemonkey. I only perused the heartless site and its vitriolic agenda. It's funny, because I found the site to be heartless against autistic men.

To Wittgensteiner: The heartless site, from what I recall, portrayed autistic men as incapable of having healthy relationships with others and incapable of contributing meaningfully to the wellbeing of NT women. The site is written as if these falsities are a foregone conclusion. With that said, Wittgensteiner, how can one "improve", as you say?

I can say with certainty that my PhD autism therapist who specializes in working with autistic adults does not share the views of the creator of that site, nor do her colleagues.

I have been married for 18 years.

I don't have a problem with someone creating a site and sharing their own personal opinion, even if jaded, ignorant, inaccurate and angry as long as the person makes it clear that they're sharing their opinion. However, posing as an authority and using that as a means for spreading their hatred under the guise of selflessly 'helping others' is as bad as others have said. It's defamatory, it's flat out wrong to vilify an entire group of people based on one's personal experience.



I think it's undeniable that ASD leads to a decreased level of empathy, which will of course make meeting the emotional needs of other more difficult, while Heartless AS might be greatly exaggerated, I think it is very helpful to at least be reminded of our potential failings and their effects on those around us in order to learn how to counteract our flaws.

I definitely agree that it's bad that the site presents these issues as set in stone, but at the same time, I think there's a small lick of truth to it, and it would be wrong of me personally to dismiss it entirely.



firemonkey
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02 Jul 2019, 2:40 pm

Any person who is intelligent , and not a troll, would know that site is prime BS .



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02 Jul 2019, 3:07 pm

Wittgensteiner wrote:
Magna wrote:
firemonkey wrote:
I'm very suspicious of a person whose second post here is to praise a site many people here find very negative and unsupportive towards those of us on the spectrum.


I agree with you, firemonkey. I only perused the heartless site and its vitriolic agenda. It's funny, because I found the site to be heartless against autistic men.

To Wittgensteiner: The heartless site, from what I recall, portrayed autistic men as incapable of having healthy relationships with others and incapable of contributing meaningfully to the wellbeing of NT women. The site is written as if these falsities are a foregone conclusion. With that said, Wittgensteiner, how can one "improve", as you say?

I can say with certainty that my PhD autism therapist who specializes in working with autistic adults does not share the views of the creator of that site, nor do her colleagues.

I have been married for 18 years.

I don't have a problem with someone creating a site and sharing their own personal opinion, even if jaded, ignorant, inaccurate and angry as long as the person makes it clear that they're sharing their opinion. However, posing as an authority and using that as a means for spreading their hatred under the guise of selflessly 'helping others' is as bad as others have said. It's defamatory, it's flat out wrong to vilify an entire group of people based on one's personal experience.



I think it's undeniable that ASD leads to a decreased level of empathy, which will of course make meeting the emotional needs of other more difficult, while Heartless AS might be greatly exaggerated, I think it is very helpful to at least be reminded of our potential failings and their effects on those around us in order to learn how to counteract our flaws.

I definitely agree that it's bad that the site presents these issues as set in stone, but at the same time, I think there's a small lick of truth to it, and it would be wrong of me personally to dismiss it entirely.


One can be reminded of it by looking at the diagnostic criteria. If one goes by that site Autistics do not have impaired empathy they have none. We are narcissistic manipulative monsters going by them. Going by that site if any women express interest in you, you should immediately tell her to run away from you as fast as possible and as far away as possible. Autistics suffer a lot of depression and suicide ideation. Autistics in that fragile state looking at that site are going to have every negative thought about themselves and their autism validated and will probably start to find ways to off themselves as fast as possible.


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firemonkey
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02 Jul 2019, 3:26 pm

It's ironic that those who use that site make a point of saying people with Asperger's/autism lack empathy,while showing zero empathy themselves for people with Asperger's/autism .



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02 Jul 2019, 3:47 pm

Quote:
One can be reminded of it by looking at the diagnostic criteria. If one goes by that site Autistics do not have impaired empathy they have none. We are narcissistic manipulative monsters going by them. Going by that site if any women express interest in you, you should immediately tell her to run away from you as fast as possible and as far away as possible. Autistics suffer a lot of depression and suicide ideation. Autistics in that fragile state looking at that site are going to have every negative thought about themselves and their autism validated and will probably start to find ways to off themselves as fast as possible.


I agree with this. I've always been insecure about having AS anyway, and finding this site not only makes my blood boil but makes me feel depressed too. And I don't think "heartlessaspergers" is a very acceptable thing to name a site.

I also get offended when people (Aspie or NT) agree that autistics typically lack empathy. I feel rather naturally skilled in empathy, and I not only feel empathy a lot but I also show empathy a lot. My NT boyfriend says I am very understanding, loyal and easy to confide in.

Anyway, NT relationships can also fail, and often do. The heartless b***h who created that despicable site kept saying that Aspie spouses won't manage money or be responsible. I know lots of NTs who don't manage their money properly, and a lot of couples typically argue over money. Not only that, but NTs can do heartless things to their spouse, like cheating and lying. A lot of people I know have suffered heartache from past relationships. But this s**t excuse for a human being wrote this site implying that autistics are the worst people in the world to have a relationship with and that all non-autistic people are perfect.


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Magna
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02 Jul 2019, 6:46 pm

^I manage my money extremely well and always have. I can say as fact that I manage my money far better than a lot of NT people I know and have known.

You're also correct, Joe90, and I think everyone would agree that huge numbers of NT/NT relationships fail and often fail miserably.



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02 Jul 2019, 7:24 pm

Brief visit back to the planet to post a troll alert..



kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2019, 7:26 pm

I miss you, B19.



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01 Aug 2019, 6:29 am

Hi all you lovely people. I haven't looked at the website in question or is it the questionable website? But sounds like a support group for survivors of Asperger boyfriends and husbands in Sydney Australia that i stumbled across not long after i was diagnosed AS in 2008.
The so called psychologist leading the group was on the haters' side who were obviously his paying customers. I remember one of their gripes or pet peeves was that these AS males always drove at the top of the speed limit. Doesn't everybody? i said. I do. Noooo, they said, horrified.