Therapists who are ignorant about AS [rant]

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The other day I had to take a class for work, and one of the presenters (a therapist) made some really stupid remarks about people with aspergers. For example: "What would aspergers people do if there were no computer games? Hahaha" I tried to point out the obvious, but he didn't get it.

I have to take classes sometimes where we are supposed to "learn" about aspergers. Only my boss at work knows about me, and I keep it that way to prevent being sidelined, made fun of, or written off by my coworkers and other management.

Still it makes me REALLY uncomfortable to have to supposedly "learn" about myself when a good deal of the time the information offered us is stereotyped, shallow, demeaning, etc. I've known a lot of aspergians who've come a long way in their lives, learning to get along in the world. But I've never met someone who benefited from "therapy" or other "help" such as offered through the traditional therapy systems. Although in many ways it's better for younger aspergians that more people know they exist and can help if they have, for example, severe communication issues. But in general, I think younger aspergians have it harder than we "old" aspgerians did, because we didn't have to grow up learning the latest NT theories about ourselves and being hampered in finding what works for us.

In an ideal world, I wish I had grown up knowing of older aspergians in my life - people who know the drill from the inside out and could help me find my way through the NT minefield of high school, college, and work. But "therapy"? I'm glad I missed it.

Amen. A-fucking-men.

Except the "making similar comments about NTs" thing. Like it or not, the numbers say they win and we lose. Can't change that. Have to live with it. Keep your head down, lips puckered.

I'm glad the services are there for those who need them. I really am. Being warehoused and given up on is a terrible thing.

So is being mocked, belittled, and told what you can and cannot be, what you are and are not capable of, dismissed...

I'm right in the middle-- neither young nor old; I was in my late teens and early 20s when this stuff hit society at large. Yes, I think the "highest-functioning" among us were better off before.

Asking for help can be dangerous business. I've done it often enough. I've gotten relatively little actual help, and a lot of harm.

I get a few types of reactions (in no particular order):
1. Disbelief: "Nah, you're normal. I know someone with Aspergers. You're nothing like them.You're just quirky. Stop trying to be "special.""
2. Ignorance - Disbelief: "Oh, autism. Is that the thing where you can't talk or you flap or something??? But you talk...you're ok."
3. Ignorance Squared: "Asper..how do you say it? What is it? I aint never heard of it."
4. Wonder - Enlightenment: "Oh! That makes so much sense now! Now I understand why you're different!"
5. Wonder Squared: "Woah. That's neat. I've never met someone like that. WOW."

Places where you "learn" about it....oh gosh. Like my intro to Biology class. We had a question on a quiz - what's ASD? People were scratching their heads....it's either not known at all or so stereotyped that all they see is RAIN MAN.

I quit describing it and asking for help. It's pointless under most circumstances.

About making NT stereotypes...I have noticed that NTs ENJOY stereotyping themselves. They make parodies of their behavior. It's amusing to them. So much for that, right?

I can't say I blame you. To many therapists here are also completely ignorant about ASD.

Thankfully I am lucky enough to live in a country that has a couple of world class specialists and a couple of clinics solely for ASD, and they really know their stuff.

But if you walk outside of that nice little bubble of knowledge, I still encounter much of the same sort of things that are in your post, even amongst other psychologists at work (they don't know about me), and when we did have an information session on ASD it was basically like you described.

If anyone walks through my door who and I think they might be ASD, I refer them instantly to the specialist clinic. I'd rather they get help from people who actually know what they're doing. Getting help from anywhere else is going to do more harm than good, at least as far as I can tell.

What would aspies do if there were no computer games? They be into something else like always long before they even existed. You can't miss something that has never existed.

I don't even play computer games all that much.

Exactly. When the therapist/trainer asked that stupid question, I answered "They'd study Indonesia or become car mechanics or something." Duh.

I see this all the time.
What makes things worse is here in Sweden I never get associated with Rain Man, which is a plus, but a huge negative is that a Swedish film came out last year or the year before called I Rymden Finns Inga Känslor. I think the English name is Simple Simon, but the translation is "There are no feelings in space". They've done a similar thing in this film as in Rain Man - exaggerated EVERYTHING or used stereotypes to portray a young adult with Aspergers.

Here is a clip someone's made of some random scenes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNmDL5hogR0
Here's a translation of what is said, to show what I mean:
Narration
Some people think I'm an idiot, but I'm not. I just want things to be as they've always been. I don't like change. But I like Sam (His brother, who in the film has just been dumped by his girlfriend, Frida), and that's why I have to make the equation work. Sam needs Frida, just like I need him.
*The badge he then puts on his shirt says "Don't touch me I have Aspergers"*
Then comes the steryotpe of hitting people when they touch you, as he slaps the icecream out of whatsherface's hand when she touches his nose.
When she bumps into him;
Girl; Oh, sorry, are you alright?
Simon slaps her round the face
Girl: What the f**k are you doing?
Simon: I slapped you in the face.
Girl: Yeah, you did. Why did you do it?
Simon: I have Aspergers
girl: Okay, so just cause you have Aspergers you can go round hitting people as much as you like?
Simon: You touched my arm, I don't like people touching me.

I can't be bothered to translate the rest.
I know some people with Aspergers do lash lout when touched, but all this happens in only 2 minutes of the film, and believe me the rest is full of it too. It makes me really angry because before it came out I would tell people I have Aspergers and then explain, where as now I'm wary about how I tell people because they all think I'm going to slap them if they touch me. They act like I'm diseased, all because of this bloody film.

That's terrible, Leiservampir!

I actually had a very positive response to therapy growing up, but some therapists are just plain bad at what they do. I guess it depends on what they specialize in and how they approach their patients. People have to see us as people first and foremost because aspergers isn't a cookie cutter term. I guess that's something that my speech and language therapists understood that this person doesn't.

I do, however, have experience with counselors that didn't understand autism and simply read off a list of symptoms. For example, one was so certain that I would aspire to conform to mainstream society. When they found out that I wanted the complete opposite, they were baffled. They were so used to having students tell them that they felt insecure because of their differences. He wasn't a bad counselor, nor was he lazy but he just never dealt with my kind of issues before and his only point of reference was his brother, who is also on the spectrum. He actually did a fairly good job of challenging my damaging beliefs and behaviors than certain other people.

Even worse, I've had people simply dismiss my concerns and problems as ' well, that's autism for you'. And maybe there is some truth to that, but in doing that they made me feel ignored and dehumanized. I'm a person, not a list of symptoms. Sure, maybe I do have a tendency to read too much into things and maybe that is a major aspect of my condition but I would appreciate it if instead of saying 'that's just aspergers, kiddo' and just left it at that, you actually rolled up your sleeves and gave me tools to recognize when I'm being irrational.

I've had bad experiences, but that was mostly when I left school. I think it's a problem with adult mental health services, really.

I think that's the worst - therapists who only know all the "theories" and such, but don't know our real lives or needs.