How to change the "victim" mind set?

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Well I have the intelligence for that....but with the lack of social skills that did not really work, then I still ended up getting called ret*d,stupid, dumb ect which only further frusterated me since I knew I was intelligent but everyone still took me as an idiot. Its not so much of a problem now, as my social skills are a bit better though it is selectively sometimes they are still non-existant.

I used to have a victim mentality. I would let people push me around and step all over me. But not anymore. A year ago I've asked myself " do I want people to push me around for the rest of my life?" decided that I would stand up for myself, I hit the gym, took up MMA and boxing, lost 50 lbs, and will lose more, and now, I feel soooo much better.

Its important for us to stand up for ourselves, because the social bullies that run this society would run us over. Remember, the elites are more afraid of us than we are them.

I view elites as a social concept that is given more credit then due. Simply because the concept is resulting in a product of false beliefs at times. With concern to the ideas of inferiority and superiority I best creatively achieve and succeed by not concerning either. I figure the people I create awareness to and attempt to function with and around are simply equals including the elite. You see the elite are flesh and blood as well.

Good lad!

We do all realize that many cannot 'think on their feet' in an immediate situation. someone on the spectrum may not be able to come up with snarky retort when confronted face to face. They may form scathing responses later on that they can save and store for later use but, in the moment responses, is the root of of their problems.

I am all for standing up and not letting yourself be a victim. But I am also all for standing up and helping someone else who can't self advocate. Self esteem is something that is built - not something that is decided. so, I'm agreeing with you but I'm also requesting some compassion for those that don't have the same strength as you. Telling someone to stand up for themselves isn't going to help address the reasons they can't do so in the first place.

I tend to agree with this, I mean I never had much of an oppurtunity to gain any self esteem.....and any I was born with got destroyed I am pretty sure so yeah its not that terribly easy for everyone.

The only person who can take your self esteem is you.
Start getting fit and having a few little victories!

I do not think that is exactly true......I mean I got mentally abused by a pre-school teacher, how is a 5 year old kid supposed to process that. When I was in 4th grade I went to school every single day knowing I was going to face harrasment from all the other kids in my class I think I missed one day because I could not walk due to a sprained ankle I attempted to walk off and refused to go to the nurses office so the other kids would not call me weak for giving into the excruciating pain that comes from walking around all day with a sprained ankle. Oh and I played soccer every day during recess because it was something I was ok at, that the other kids could not attack me for. So I think it is safe to say some of that may have lowerd what self esteem I did have.

Life is about choices. You can choose to have a happy productive life as you live in a prosperous western democracy and to do this you need to commit to putting in the work to acheive this goal.

You can also choose to develop a "victim" mentality which will result in misery, frustration and poverty.

Most people on the spectrum had a fairly crappy time growing up, as do a lot of NTs, however, you can not let this dictate your choices.

I hope you will choose the former option, good luck.

As long as you think of yourself as a poor persecuted person with AS, the victim mentality will never change. When people get too attached to a vague, arbitrary label such as AS, words like "minority" come into play, and minority is one step away from victim. I'm not a minority or a victim, and as such nobody victimizes me. I used to be, but not anymore.

Good!

This reminds me of ASAN and aspie politics. Being the victim of many things and seeking attention by means of the victim mentality. That's one thing I do not do in public relations. It's always the uplifting and progress approach. So anyone want to explain what the goal is with the non-victim mentality? Will it seek to ignore inequality or mold different approaches?

Goal: Happy and productive lives

Acheived by: Developing effective life and career strategies that optimise strengths and mitigate weaknesses associated with condition.

Means: Use of AppropriateTechnology, lobbying, networking and effective dissemination of tactical and strategic methods and feedback.

Like what I do here but the more profound the disability the more compassionate the means of inclusion needed. However compassion is a means to adapt to increase ones ability to transition and become independent.


Strategy - Warm and fuzzy but non-hippie.

Warm and fuzzy is OK in PR but a lot of Aspies are, in effect, fighting a war which they don't even know has been declared. We are all in competition for scarce resources.

Therefore, we need to operate together to form productive networks to promote our interests in terms of proacticve strategies and tactics in order to prosper in a fairly hostile environment.

Corporations and the political arena are very much like the school playground and unfortunately a lot of Aspies were very poor performers in these environments.

Hence, the need to drop the victim mentality and adopt a resilient and robust approach if one is to survive, prosper and live up to one's potential.

My social and political approaches can make hairs stand up on arms and people stop and think. Why don't these groups consult me for speech writing. Otherwise because of some of the approaches I tend to stick to my own and do my own thing. So if you want approaches that people simply do not ignore for disability inclusion from compassionate strength and determination toward the more human rights loving compassionate for the more severely disabled who are also left out let me know.

It's not about inspiring one against the other but working together.