How do I get nero-typicals to not say "ret*d"?

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Anyone taking offence is basically saying "I'm a loser and I want you to accommodate me" - and they deserve what they get.

Well, it depends on the context but in general, casual use then I agree.

But we aren't ret*d, many of us are the polar opposite, so using it that way would be EXTREMELY offensive to people who actually are ret*d.

Haha, true that. It's also saying, "Hey I'm a target, aim here", especially on the internet.

Stupid also means low intelligence so people misuse that word too. But no one takes it as an insult when people say something is stupid or an item is stupid or a situation is stupid. But replace it with ret*d/ret*d, people throw a fit. What would be the most accurate word to use for those situations?

Thank you, everyone, for all of the responses!
It’s just that… I kind of posted this in the political section (as opposed to something like the school section) because I was hoping someone might know about some legal support out there.
In government class (in my high school in 2004), we learned that it’s our right to not be harassed. The kid who sits next to me often used the word “n****r,” so I interrupted the lecture to say, “Oh, like how he says ‘n****r’ all the time? Sure, I’m not black, but my boyfriend is half-black!” The teacher confirmed that I had a RIGHT to not be exposed to that.
Surely there is some legal protection for us, too. Maybe this is just the wrong place to ask. Maybe I should ask someone like a lawyer instead.

To what situations are you referring? I only ask because it seems that people use “stupid” accurately, except when confusing it with “ignorant”.


The most common pronunciation of “Asperger’s” sounds crass to me. When I was diagnosed, they pronounced it “Oss-burger’s”, not “Ass-burger’s”. That’s why I will always pronounce it the prior way, even if it might sound ignorant.


That’s why I have yet to freak out in public, the way I would like to. I’m afraid it would have the opposite of the intended effect. People would laugh their asses off, then just harass me all the more. At least, that’s what they did in middle school when I told them I was offended at them using cuss-words around me.



I think I understand what you’re trying to say. I just wanted to mention that I don’t feel like black people have devalued “n****r” at all, because they still get infuriated if anyone who isn’t black says “n****r” or “n***a” in any tone of voice. It often seems unanimous among others that it shouldn’t be used by anyone who isn’t at least partially black (unless in very private company).
….It really confuses the hell out of me, actually.



I understand how academically, it seems like we’re geniuses just because it’s easy to memorize stuff. (Yay, we’re good at being parrots!) But when people say that we’re not ret*d, i.e., not mentally-impaired, it feels like they’re devaluing our struggles. It’s VERY difficult for me to recognize the subtle differences in faces, and I have a hard time believing the prospect that this might not be caused by a mental impairment of some sort. Therefore, I don’t consider myself to be the polar opposite of ret*d. Maybe we’re just a unique kind of ret*d, and a unique kind of genius. Maybe… we’re neither. Maybe we’re just different all around.


I recently made some friends who turned out to be gay. (I don’t have gaydar. Is that a common Aspie trait, to not be able to tell if someone's gay?) While hanging out with them one night, they started saying “That’s gay!” when something was unfortunate. I said, “I’ve always been really offended when people use ‘gay’ as a derogatory term. Now I’m REALLY confused.” They explained that “gay” is not so offensive, but “fag” is.




Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one! I’ve argued until I’m blue in the face that “mentally ret*d” is a MEDICAL TERM. It’s not offensive when used to mean what it means LITERALLY. (After all, there are flame-retardant blankets, and retardant also describes something you add to paint to make it dry more slowly.) Therefore, to say that we are “socially ret*d” is actually quite accurate! I can’t recognize people TWO MINUTES after I meet them, even if I’ve met them FIVE TIMES! (It usually takes 10 times, then I recognize their face). I might get good grades in classes, but I sure feel mentally ret*d! People say Asperger’s is not a handicap, it’s just a difference—BS!!


Oh…. No, I was completely ignorant of the history of those words.
Now I’ll think on whether to add them to my list of offensive terms, or to let go of my offense altogether (as most of you seem to encourage). Up until you made that point, I’ve been very offended whenever someone tells me not to be so easily offended at this. (How dare they tell me how to feel!)
It’s like you just put into Aspie terms what everyone has been trying to tell me in NT terms. According to your profile, you’ve been diagnosed, too, so I hope you know what a big deal that is. It will probably take at least a day for it to fully sink in, (and for me to fully let go of my resentment) but by the end of it, I’m sure I’ll come to the conclusion that you’ve helped me a lot! Thank you!

To what situations are you referring? I only ask because it seems that people use “stupid” accurately, except when confusing it with “ignorant”.

People use that word on people who are judgmental or have a different opinion or are ignorant on stuff (therefore they say those people are stupid) or they use it on something they don't agree with it or they may say things or they may use it on items like "stupid case" or "stupid chair." People will even use it on a person they don't agree with like I am sure you have seen someone say how stupid another person is because they didn't like their rules they set for their students. What does all this have to do with low intelligence? So we do misuse the word, even me.


Low intelligence would be mental retardation so therefore stupid be an insult to those people but we use that word anyway and find it acceptable. Just like we do with moron and idiot and dumb but dumb means unable to speak. Maybe someday ret*d be acceptable to use because people would stop connecting it to mentally disabled folks. I wonder if people got offended with the words stupid or imbecile or idiot or moron when they started to get misused back in the days? So ret*d took place to replace all those words but then people started to misuse that word too and I bet they will do it again with the new word. Maybe gay should be replaced too since that also gets misused in the same way as ret*d (going by logic).

Being sensitive to certain words does not make all those people privilege-demanding pricks. Shame on you. I am so sick of this whole "lighten up" and "can't take a joke" BS. NTs are giving us aspies such a bad rep whenever we get hurt by something but that's not the problem. The problem is when people can't accept the fact that you're going to have people once in a while WILL get offended to something. Everyone has different levels of sensitivity regardless of whether they're aspie or NT. And even though what we say wasn't intended to upset, we could at least show the courtesy of being more understanding of what upsets who and try to not be like that around those certain persons again.

In fact, the word 'stupid' itself originally denoted mental disability.

Can I call Checkmate?



Well, if you try to produce a list of 'offensive' words pretty soon you won't be able to say much as many words originally started out with insulting meanings that have lessened with time.



You don't want to be one of those people that seem to be offended at nearly everything and spend their spare time writing in green ink to the broadcasters about shows (that you never even bothered to watch) that 'deeply insulted' your moral values. There are more than enough of those professionally-offended loons (a term that used to refer to people with psychiatric problems and is still considered quite pejorative by elements of the mental health community today) about and not many people like them.



I was diagnosed at a very young age.



No problem. It's what I'm here for.

Thank you for putting better words to how I was feeling!
I was raised Christian, but when I was old enough to interpret The Bible for myself, I came to my own conclusion that "foul language" does not mean a list of certain cuss-words. Instead, it refers to the meaning behind your words. However, my parents still felt strongly that I should not use the list of words that they deemed "foul," so I made an effort to not say them around them, just because they were offended (even though I felt it was really petty).
All I wanted to ask of others is that they respect me the same way I'm willing to respect them.

I was shocked to find that older adult," professional", critical care nurse co-workers would just casually drop that word into their conversations, as in "this scheduling is so ret*d!"... I'm only 23 and I was just thinking "What the hell!? Am I back in junior high again?" (Please sweet alien Cheezus not again... but sadly yes, yes I am, because many of these people never grew up, they just became more subtle)

Wow, that's a shame.
PS I LOVE your signature! Dependent adults can be so demanding, since they can't control much in their lives.

Retardation is a medical term for having an IQ below 85. If you have AS it is extremely unlikely that you are ret*d, and using the term to refer to yourself is disrespectful, it's like white people calling eachother n****r. Anyway we don't just come across as geniuses because we have better memory, according to studies we also have higher fluid intelligience, which is intelligience where you completely eliminate prior knowledge from the picture. Yes, we have mental problems, but intelligience is not one of them, at least for the vast majority of us here.

But what if someone really did think they are ret*d? I thought when I was 14 I was and I wasn't happy about it. After years of being called that by kids, I had started to think they were probably right and I was. I don't think I was showing disrespect. All I got was that I wasn't ret*d and I kept being told I am very smart. Then my mother had to remind me I have Asperger's.

I'm not saying that ret*d is not offensive to us, I say it definately is, I'm just saying that the word does not belong to us as we technically aren't.

You said we are showing disrespect if we call ourselves that so I am saying I thought I really was at one point in my life so I always called myself it. Luckily no one got upset with me for it. They just kept reassuring me I wasn't but I had a hard time believing them.