Am I the only person who wants to be cured?

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No I wouldn't want to be NT. My life is so much more interesting as an aspie

When I was a teenager, I didn't want to be cured. I was happy the way I am. Now I wish I could be. I want a normal life. I want to drive a car, to get a job, and live on my own.

You're treated differently/negatively by the NTs? That isn't strictly caused by your Asperger's Syndrome. It is caused by NT ignorance and intolerance of anyone and anything different from "the norm".

Don't shoot me for saying this, but I'd rather be a sweet and endearing autistic caveman like Mick Avory than become an NT. The reason I've said this on a global forum is because I've been hurt by a lot of NTs in my life and I say these things about sweet Mick, because they're true in a nice way.

This is exactly what I do not want to be. I want to be liked as an equal, not a "sweet and endearing autistic caveman". This is the way 99% of NTs my age see me. I've met three people in total that liked me as an equal. Right now I'm not in contact with them. I know there is no cure at the moment. For now I just have to do the next best thing and act as NT as I can. It's very exhausting, but it's 100% worth it if more people will like me as an equal.

I voted no.

But up til two years ago, I would have voted yes. Heck, even this year at times, yes would have done. In school, I had a heated debate about the value of conformity with my best friend. But, this year, I got accepted for who I was at a job. I had just left a job where I had been told "Everyone likes you now, but we used to all think you were weird" (no jokes, that was the way it was said), and went to a job where I was told "Everyone here is different and learns differently".

I don't know, I voted yes just so my job as a mother could be easier - this small talk BS I have to do in the mainstream world is not easy. Thank God I got help for my anxiety for that has opened doors for me - so many years of pain I lived without professional help - thanks Mom.... NOT!! !!I have suffered with food addiction/shopping addiction that cause me many years of difficulty. I think so many people with addiction problems are people on the spectrum that turn to a "drug of choice" due to the internal pain and confusion. I don't want that for my daughter, so I am going to have to be the Obi wan kenobi of autism for my little girl..... the moments when now I can say to here "does it feel this way/that way when this happens???" she looks at me like "OH MY GOD - you know what I am thinking????".... I love that:) and then think, wow my childhood sucked......no one was there to help and guide me or understand me at all...... just stuck me in anxiety provoking activities and I had to brave them out. yuck.


In alot of ways if I wasn't this way, I wouldn't have the insight I have into her world. I get all her ways so my parenting is easy in that sense - I keep telling my husband to make billions somehow so we can just live in our world so we don't have to deal with the NT BS and game playing. Its so hard and a pain in the ass, the NT world pisses me off most of the time. Being a female there are so many mind games - at least I am doing my research for the sake of my daughter to teach her these ridiculous games.

My grandmother told me once "sometimes you have to be an actress"..... Wow huh? I hear those words every time I have to go into a social situation(my ASD hubby who is silent in social situations says he is very proud and in awe how I handle myself in those settings - I worked with people for years with my job and it gave me a great deal of practice).... I will be telling my daughter the same thing, at least I can be a mom that hopefully has the answers instead of the grave mistakes my mother made. Love isn't enough with helping your child with ASD.

So yes and no probably is my answer:) Overall NO, just certain times when I have to seem like a NT yes......

I don't think I'll ever have kids unless a cure gets invented.

I too some what want to be cured. Its sort of like I have two separate selfs. the one that everyone else perceives is fragile, very bad at communicating (its a constant struggle for me, even simple things like telling them how my day was is difficult) and sometimes even ret*d. The one that only I can see is funny, great at what interests me (there's no way I can verbalize what i'm interested in) and fairly creative.

You are wanting to be cured because "being AS makes you unhappy" --- Let me tell you a little secret getting cured will not make you happy!! I have known many NTs that were not happy and I have known Asperger's that were quite happy. Yes, the opposite is true in both cases as well. You are trying to force yourself to be something you are not, this breads feelings of failure and disappointment as well as make you nervous and keeps you from activities that you find pleasing. All this leads to one unhappy person. The effort you expend in faking "Normal" is effort and energy you cannot expend on doing something that you enjoy and will make you happy.

I can tell you that I am much happier today than when I was younger - the main reason for this change is that I have accepted who and what I am - and therefore I am doing and being what makes me happy much more often. I just returned from a vacation on which I visited about a dozen museums that I did my best to read my way through and walked nearly empty beaches - spent only one day at Disneyland and overall, avoided hot tub gatherings at the hotel. It was a wonderful vacation and my Asperger's hung out nearly the whole time. I have returned and I am looking forward to attending the next AKLUG meeting where I will see friends that are as geek and Asper as I am - and we will discuss all things computing and I will enjoy the evening.

The one of the best parts of letting my Asper out more is that I do get along better with the NTs around me. I have become that Quirky odd guy that can always get their computer to work for them that tells them nice things about themselves, and "everyone knows that autistic people can't lie". So they believe the half truths I tell them about themselves - and when I do goof and go too far and say something I should not have - well "everyone knows that autistic people are stupid about human interactions and don't understand". Also knowing that I am AS allows me to fake basic NT behaviors much better - I have figured out that I do not have to look someone in the eyes - they cannot tell that I am focusing on their eye brows - and that I am timing the look away to mimic their behavior. Yes, they can tell that I am not like them in many ways - so I don't hide it as much as I once did - I try to do enough to put the NTs at ease as much as possible - though trying too hard does not let me trade on present day political correctness towards disabilities practiced on the job.

Another goodness of letting more of my Asper out is that friendships become more likely. You say that you cannot accept AS friends because you are afraid that they will "blow your cover". Once you stop trying to fake NTness so much you will find that at least some of the AS people will make great friends and have common interests to a level that will mesh with yours. Further, letting your Asper to show will allow you to find NTs that are more accepting of AS and thus capable of being a friend to you. Yes, there are NTs that are accepting of those on the spectrum - many have family members that are AS and therefore define normal and acceptable to include those on the spectrum. My wife is such a NT - I suspect that her father was and her bother is AS - so for her I am what she sees as a good man and most NT males just won't do.



I am not so much anti-cure as realistic - AS is a very complicated compared to many others genetic conditions that are themselves nowhere near a cure that it would take a truly well planned and unbelievably massive effort to even make headway against that our present medical establishment is way too corrupt and broken to come anywhere near pulling off. So, put your effort into gaining more acceptance for our kind and pursuing your happiness where ever it may lead you.

I would never let anyone cure me! Why? I wouldn't be me anymore! If they cure you then you're not you... and not only that but I would know that the cure cures AS right, but I would know NOTHING else about the medication... even if they tell me it's fine, not even they can know that. I wouldn't want to be one of the many formerly AS people all over the world dying of leukemia in a hypothetical situation in which the cure has some such side effect.

But that's not the primary reason. The primary reason is because I'd be offended! I feel offended that anyone thinks a cure is even required. It's basically telling me that I'm wrong and that I need curing because of how wrong I am. I'm me, my AS makes a fair bit of who I am, I'm proud of my beliefs and interests which I don't know how many of them come from AS or are as passionate as they are because of AS. Does anyone ever say that Daryl Hannah needs curing? She's one of my heroes for what she's managed to achieve despite her AS. There's nothing wrong with me, there's something different with me, not wrong. There's something wrong with whoever tries to enforce a cure upon me, that person needs curing of their ignorance and arrogance to boot.

Yes my AS has been detrimental in ways, the main one being that I've always been alone. But that's a part of who I am. Look, the cure for this, the cure for AS, is life. And love I feel would help me. But the real cure is life. Daryl Hannah is a living example of that. You just have to get past the hurdles, the challenges that life throws at us which for us are more challenging than they are for NTs it seems, you have to fight to keep going. Never give up because then you ruin every chance you have of curing yourself. The cure is life... see I don't want to not have AS, I want to be AS and happy. There's a difference, so the only cure I want is to cure my loneliness and unhappiness and I do not want to lose my AS in order to do that. I just need to keep fighting and keep going and as hard as it is me being alone, I have to believe that I will find someone one day. That's my cure.

You are wanting to be cured because "being AS makes you unhappy" --- Let me tell you a little secret getting cured will not make you happy!! I have known many NTs that were not happy and I have known Asperger's that were quite happy. Yes, the opposite is true in both cases as well. You are trying to force yourself to be something you are not, this breads feelings of failure and disappointment as well as make you nervous and keeps you from activities that you find pleasing. All this leads to one unhappy person. The effort you expend in faking "Normal" is effort and energy you cannot expend on doing something that you enjoy and will make you happy.
Having successful social interactions makes me way happier than any of my special interests.

I can tell you that I am much happier today than when I was younger - the main reason for this change is that I have accepted who and what I am - and therefore I am doing and being what makes me happy much more often. I just returned from a vacation on which I visited about a dozen museums that I did my best to read my way through and walked nearly empty beaches - spent only one day at Disneyland and overall, avoided hot tub gatherings at the hotel. It was a wonderful vacation and my Asperger's hung out nearly the whole time. I have returned and I am looking forward to attending the next AKLUG meeting where I will see friends that are as geek and Asper as I am - and we will discuss all things computing and I will enjoy the evening.
I actually used to be moderate functioning when I was little. I had echolalia(repeating what people say), I stimmed a lot, I was way worse at reading body language, I hit people and I talked about my special interests for hours. I used to count for hours and hours. I worked very hard to not hit people or think out loud. I am so happy I don't think out loud or hit people. I still stim and have obsessions. My goal now is to not stim(fidgeting is ok) in public and make meaningful friends that don't know or suspect I'm on the spectrum.

The one of the best parts of letting my Asper out more is that I do get along better with the NTs around me. I have become that Quirky odd guy that can always get their computer to work for them that tells them nice things about themselves, and "everyone knows that autistic people can't lie". So they believe the half truths I tell them about themselves - and when I do goof and go too far and say something I should not have - well "everyone knows that autistic people are stupid about human interactions and don't understand". Also knowing that I am AS allows me to fake basic NT behaviors much better - I have figured out that I do not have to look someone in the eyes - they cannot tell that I am focusing on their eye brows - and that I am timing the look away to mimic their behavior. Yes, they can tell that I am not like them in many ways - so I don't hide it as much as I once did - I try to do enough to put the NTs at ease as much as possible - though trying too hard does not let me trade on present day political correctness towards disabilities practiced on the job.
I actually have normal eye contact according to other people. Eye contact helps me read non verbal cues. Reading non verbal cues helps me act normal. I probably still miss non verbal cues, but having eye contact helps a lot. I'm not aiming to be normal normal. I'm aiming to be slightly quirky, but normal enough to not have special treatment.

Another goodness of letting more of my Asper out is that friendships become more likely. You say that you cannot accept AS friends because you are afraid that they will "blow your cover". Once you stop trying to fake NTness so much you will find that at least some of the AS people will make great friends and have common interests to a level that will mesh with yours. Further, letting your Asper to show will allow you to find NTs that are more accepting of AS and thus capable of being a friend to you. Yes, there are NTs that are accepting of those on the spectrum - many have family members that are AS and therefore define normal and acceptable to include those on the spectrum. My wife is such a NT - I suspect that her father was and her bother is AS - so for her I am what she sees as a good man and most NT males just won't do.
I still don't believe there is any NTs that accept people with AS. NTs my age that know I have AS treat me like I'm younger than them. The only time I get treated like an equal is when I can pass as normal.


I am not so much anti-cure as realistic - AS is a very complicated compared to many others genetic conditions that are themselves nowhere near a cure that it would take a truly well planned and unbelievably massive effort to even make headway against that our present medical establishment is way too corrupt and broken to come anywhere near pulling off. So, put your effort into gaining more acceptance for our kind and pursuing your happiness where ever it may lead you.
I don't believe there will be a cure either. I just know that a cure will get a lot of hard work done for me. I think I if I get cured I will be able to focus on other things and live a happier life. I also think I would still be me. I feel like there is an NT girl trapped inside of me that is begging to come out. The best I can do is get into the habit of acting like an NT.

Friends are far and few between for me but at least when I make them I know its for real, unlike NTs theres no guessing. They know i'm different, can't escape it but they don't care and view me as an equal. Odds are if you are looked down at now you still will be if you became NT only maybe you won't be able to notice anymore.

By the way most of my friends likely don't even know I have AS or even know that autism is, just that i'm different, its a matter of finding people who are not overly judgemental, yes the world largely is cruel and judgemental.

I agree with the person who said trying to be someone your not is just wasting enegry that could be used finding enjoyment and fulilment in life. Hoping/dreaming/trying of becoming NT is a very silly goal in life in my opinon, take that from someone who tryed unsucessfully.

I don't know about a cure and for me I went most of my adult life not knowing what was wrong with me and wondered what was wrong for a long time. I thought that I was different and just really shy. Now that I know there is something neurologically different about me it helps to know this and understand why I am different. Knowing why I am different is a relief in a way. As far as a cure I do not want one because it seems unrealistic at least for now. I would like more confidence and feel that speech therapy and taking a speech class or a drama class would help me. I would not become normal per se, but I could "act" more normal, have more confidence and get a job I like. Still acting NT is tiring so I would not want to not tire myself out and I want a job where I can work alone most of the time, but yet have some interaction with people who accept me and do not treat me horrible because of my differences and social ineptness.

Regarding a cure I have read online that there is some research going on about using stem cells to help persons on the autism spectrum function better socially. I will be researching this topic more online to find out more about it.

I would have loved it in my teens and 20's, in fact I was willing to bully myself to death in order to get it done just about. In my 30's though and having most of the opportunities that I was yearning for already passed by - it really doesn't matter as much anymore simply because there's nothing to really reclaim and its effects are minimal to say the least.

I wouldn't knock anyone for that choice because I understand all too well to have had a personality, desires, and goals that ASD ran counterclockwise to.

Different strokes for different folks. I hope you get what you want.