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Stop talking about it.

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BuyerBeware
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28 Mar 2014, 11:21 am

Dunno-- I guess I'm the dissenting voice.

I agree that, if we don't talk about it, the only ones talking are going to be Autism Speaks. The only message is going to be the one that says, BROKEN.

But-- Talking about it isn't doing much good, either. The OP is right-- most of what openness does, is invite bullies. Invite judgment. Invite those who already believe the BROKEN BS to tear into you.

People who are going to be understanding and tolerant, I have found, are going to be understanding and tolerant with or without a diagnosis. They're going to say, "People are people." They're going to say, "You are just you." They're going to say, "Nobody's perfect," and "In the Father's house there are many rooms," and "It takes all kinds."

And people who are going to be s**ts are going to be s**ts. They're going to call you names with it or without it. They're going to use it as an excuse to kick you-- they're going to be the ones who say, "I think she's going to be the next school shooter."

Openness might help others on the spectrum-- to see you, and see what you have done, and see how you are living, and know that they can do it too.

I don't think it will help stop the bullies. At all. People who want to act that way are going to find an excuse to act that way; it IS better not to give them a tool that they can use to justify their behavior, or worse, to subject you to institutional harassment.


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28 Mar 2014, 1:10 pm

BuyerBeware wrote:
Dunno-- I guess I'm the dissenting voice.

I agree that, if we don't talk about it, the only ones talking are going to be Autism Speaks. The only message is going to be the one that says, BROKEN.

But-- Talking about it isn't doing much good, either. The OP is right-- most of what openness does, is invite bullies. Invite judgment. Invite those who already believe the BROKEN BS to tear into you.

People who are going to be understanding and tolerant, I have found, are going to be understanding and tolerant with or without a diagnosis. They're going to say, "People are people." They're going to say, "You are just you." They're going to say, "Nobody's perfect," and "In the Father's house there are many rooms," and "It takes all kinds."

And people who are going to be s**ts are going to be s**ts. They're going to call you names with it or without it. They're going to use it as an excuse to kick you-- they're going to be the ones who say, "I think she's going to be the next school shooter."

Openness might help others on the spectrum-- to see you, and see what you have done, and see how you are living, and know that they can do it too.

I don't think it will help stop the bullies. At all. People who want to act that way are going to find an excuse to act that way; it IS better not to give them a tool that they can use to justify their behavior, or worse, to subject you to institutional harassment.


Then expose the fact that people are acting that way. We should not be afraid of speaking out about anything just because there are people out there who act that way, if it's part of the problem, then expose it, that's how problems are solved. Ignoring the problem doesn't change anything.


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28 Mar 2014, 3:01 pm

Jaden wrote:
Then expose the fact that people are acting that way. We should not be afraid of speaking out about anything just because there are people out there who act that way, if it's part of the problem, then expose it, that's how problems are solved. Ignoring the problem doesn't change anything.


^^i agree with this. i think if bullies are ever going to become an unpleasant wrinkle in humanity's history then they need to be called out and shamed publicly whenever they are found. it's only when they realise that if they open their mouths and say something mean and hurtful to someone that someone (or likely several someones) will publicly call them on their sh***y behaviour that they will begin to think twice before doing it. this is why nowadays in most places people know better than to make stupid racist comments publicly, even if they harbour stupid racist beliefs. and the fact that they can't speak those stupid racist beliefs out loud without someone pointing out to them that that's a sh***y way to look at large groups of people is what will get them thinking that maybe they've got a few conclusions wrong. if the public clearly and consistently takes exception to the behaviour, then the behaviour dies away.

this is the only way change happens in regards to equality.



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30 Mar 2014, 7:24 am

The way I understand blackmetal83092 is that building a whole community around autism is NOT a good idea and be all up and angry about the "others" who are intolerant is wrong. Why? (1) Communitarianism only partly allows to be accepted by "outsiders", (2) it seriously limits the vision of what are the traits, goals and desires of ASD people, (3) it only helps those who have the biggest mouth in the group and (4) it provides a concrete target for any irrational hater.

About bullying, I don't think it is that simple. Yes, it must be exposed but do you really believe that autistic people are the only ones mistreated by bullies? No! Linking the two is wrong and close-minded. I have also been bullied because I am black, it is not an autistic-only thing to be bullied. I have been discriminated because I am female, it is not just an autistic-only thing to be discriminated. I am also openly bisexual, which I have not been bullied or discriminated for, but I could be.


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Jaden
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30 Mar 2014, 2:37 pm

Adele_ wrote:
About bullying, I don't think it is that simple. Yes, it must be exposed but do you really believe that autistic people are the only ones mistreated by bullies? No! Linking the two is wrong and close-minded. I have also been bullied because I am black, it is not an autistic-only thing to be bullied. I have been discriminated because I am female, it is not just an autistic-only thing to be discriminated. I am also openly bisexual, which I have not been bullied or discriminated for, but I could be.


Just because we aren't talking about every other group in the world, doesn't mean we're linking bullying with autism. This is an autism community, it's only natural that the conversations within it are about the autistic perspective and the issues associated with autism/asd's and people who have them, that doesn't mean we think that bullying is only occurring to us, and we haven't "linked" it to specifically autism in any way. If anything, the fact that so many are being bullied for so many different things, makes it easier for us all to expose it and the social problems that cause it.


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01 Apr 2014, 12:56 am

vickygleitz wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
I got bullied for my autistic traits well before I or anybody else knew I was autistic. My job situation was hurt in part because of my autistic traits before I or anybody else knew I was Autistic. So why should I think keeping the status quo is a good thing? I also on occasion have been praised and had good things happen because of my autistic traits. Why would I want a cure that eliminated these? Why would I not want to let people know the things they like about me are autistic traits?

It is good you re able to hide it since that is what you want, but what about those who can't?, Are we to just let them keep on being bullied and discriminated against while we wait for a cure? Don't be so sure you won't burn out from constantly trying to hide who you are. If that happens to you before the cure I would like you to get support which won't happen if we do not advocate.


YOU ARE SO AWESOME!


A belated THANKS


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01 Apr 2014, 4:46 pm

blackmetal83092 wrote:
I find it to be an abysmal approach to reveal what should be hidden onto a national spotlight and then turn around and complain about bullying and mistreatment.


The way to handle that isn't to keep quiet about autism; it's to legalize punching bullies. :lol:


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Here
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15 Apr 2014, 12:29 pm

Asperger adults and NTs receptive to Aspergers need the concrete and tangible to boost consensus and yield action-plans that deliver results.

It's one thing to "preach to the choir" - yet is another thing to encourage the choir of NTs and Asperger adults to take their show on the road, and boost choir and audience numbers in the process!

RELATED: Lack of news coverage regarding Asperger adult concerns in major US media outlets are discussed in post http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt256490.html - Specific Asperger adult concerns are also mentioned in LINK in post.



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15 Apr 2014, 8:55 pm

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