How to change the "victim" mind set?

Page 3 of 7 [ 109 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,920
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

05 Jun 2011, 1:56 pm

ProudAspie wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

ProudAspie wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

draelynn wrote:

We do all realize that many cannot 'think on their feet' in an immediate situation. someone on the spectrum may not be able to come up with snarky retort when confronted face to face. They may form scathing responses later on that they can save and store for later use but, in the moment responses, is the root of of their problems.

I am all for standing up and not letting yourself be a victim. But I am also all for standing up and helping someone else who can't self advocate. Self esteem is something that is built - not something that is decided. so, I'm agreeing with you but I'm also requesting some compassion for those that don't have the same strength as you. Telling someone to stand up for themselves isn't going to help address the reasons they can't do so in the first place.

I tend to agree with this, I mean I never had much of an oppurtunity to gain any self esteem.....and any I was born with got destroyed I am pretty sure so yeah its not that terribly easy for everyone.

The only person who can take your self esteem is you.
Start getting fit and having a few little victories!

I do not think that is exactly true......I mean I got mentally abused by a pre-school teacher, how is a 5 year old kid supposed to process that. When I was in 4th grade I went to school every single day knowing I was going to face harrasment from all the other kids in my class I think I missed one day because I could not walk due to a sprained ankle I attempted to walk off and refused to go to the nurses office so the other kids would not call me weak for giving into the excruciating pain that comes from walking around all day with a sprained ankle. Oh and I played soccer every day during recess because it was something I was ok at, that the other kids could not attack me for. So I think it is safe to say some of that may have lowerd what self esteem I did have.

Life is about choices. You can choose to have a happy productive life as you live in a prosperous western democracy and to do this you need to commit to putting in the work to acheive this goal.

You can also choose to develop a "victim" mentality which will result in misery, frustration and poverty.

Most people on the spectrum had a fairly crappy time growing up, as do a lot of NTs, however, you can not let this dictate your choices.

I hope you will choose the former option, good luck.

I actually have severe chronic depression, so even when things are good...I still feel depressed, I've gotten used to it but it still effects my life and even causes physical pain I mean I have ways to decrease it but no cure. I have been depressed as long as I can remember....along with the anxiety and aspergers and more recently PTSD. So I do not feel like I chose any of that....I mean it took a while before it really started effecting me at first I was able not to be too effected if some people disliked me.....But I guess after years and years of being harrased even when I was minding my own buisness and staying out of peoples way I finally got burnt out on it.

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,920
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

05 Jun 2011, 2:09 pm

Mindslave wrote:

As long as you think of yourself as a poor persecuted person with AS, the victim mentality will never change. When people get too attached to a vague, arbitrary label such as AS, words like "minority" come into play, and minority is one step away from victim. I'm not a minority or a victim, and as such nobody victimizes me. I used to be, but not anymore.

I think of myself as more of an angry persecuted person who is going to lose it eventually...because I have a hard time expressing anger so chances are its building up. Yes I used to feel like a victim, but now I am more angry about it I can't help hoping all the people who contributed to the hell that has been my life have either died or are living horrible lives they hate. I just don't want to lose control it just feels like kind of a dangerous mind-set I guess.

Mindslave
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,034
Location: Where the wild things wish they were

06 Jun 2011, 3:57 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

Mindslave wrote:

It sounds like that has nothing to do with AS. It's like my friend who has AS. His anger has nothing to do with the spectrum and everything to do with the people responsible for ruining his life.

ProudAspie
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 274

06 Jun 2011, 5:20 am

Mindslave wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Mindslave wrote:

It sounds like that has nothing to do with AS. It's like my friend who has AS. His anger has nothing to do with the spectrum and everything to do with the people responsible for ruining his life.

The only person who can ruin your life is you!

Everything is a challenge that you can think your way over or around!

Please..................................................... emancipate yourselves from mental slavery..................................................

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F10tP5HIpaA&feature=fvst

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,920
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

06 Jun 2011, 9:48 am

Mindslave wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Mindslave wrote:

It sounds like that has nothing to do with AS. It's like my friend who has AS. His anger has nothing to do with the spectrum and everything to do with the people responsible for ruining his life.

Well all it has to do with the AS is, that was part of what made me come off as a bit different....which is what a lot of people did not like about me. I was not quite normal enough for them.

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,920
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

06 Jun 2011, 9:50 am

ProudAspie wrote:

Mindslave wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Mindslave wrote:

It sounds like that has nothing to do with AS. It's like my friend who has AS. His anger has nothing to do with the spectrum and everything to do with the people responsible for ruining his life.

Well I am glad you are so optimistic, if it works for you great....but lets not but all the blame on me all right. I tried to make it through without being Affected, and I failed but that does not mean none of the messed up things others have done to me are partially to blame.

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,920
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

06 Jun 2011, 9:53 am

ProudAspie wrote:

ci wrote:

Like what I do here but the more profound the disability the more compassionate the means of inclusion needed. However compassion is a means to adapt to increase ones ability to transition and become independent.

Strategy - Warm and fuzzy but non-hippie.

Warm and fuzzy is OK in PR but a lot of Aspies are, in effect, fighting a war which they don't even know has been declared. We are all in competition for scarce resources.

Therefore, we need to operate together to form productive networks to promote our interests in terms of proacticve strategies and tactics in order to prosper in a fairly hostile environment.

Corporations and the political arena are very much like the school playground and unfortunately a lot of Aspies were very poor performers in these environments.

Hence, the need to drop the victim mentality and adopt a resilient and robust approach if one is to survive, prosper and live up to one's potential.

Just throwing this out there, but I really don't want to make it up the corporate ladder....I am all for doing what you can not to feel like a victim, but that does not mean I want anything to do with that corrupt mess.

ProudAspie
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 274

06 Jun 2011, 10:22 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

ProudAspie wrote:

ci wrote:

Fine, then don't play then... Just try to cheer up!

You are 21` go and back pack round Europe!

Have a series of random affairs with bikers, truck drivers and Frenchmen!

Just cheer up!

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,920
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

06 Jun 2011, 10:32 am

ProudAspie wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

ProudAspie wrote:

ci wrote:

Fine, then don't play then... Just try to cheer up!

You are 21` go and back pack round Europe!

Have a series of random affairs with bikers, truck drivers and Frenchmen!

Just cheer up!

I am about as cheered up as I get at the moment....I describe it as comfortably numb I might make it to mildly content if I watch 1000 Ways to Die on netflix its intresting to see what sorts of weird deaths people have died.

ci
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Nov 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,546
Location: Humboldt County, California

06 Jun 2011, 10:40 am

I watched an episode of that last night. Hardly a way to cheer up but maybe a morbid way of being thankful.

_________________
The peer politics creating intolerance toward compassion is coming to an end. Pity accusations, indifferent advocacy against isolation awareness and for pride in an image of autism is injustice. http://www.autismselfadvocacynetwork.com

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,920
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

06 Jun 2011, 10:44 am

ci wrote:

I watched an episode of that last night. Hardly a way to cheer up but maybe a morbid way of being thankful.

For whatever reason I enjoy things like that, so yeah if I where feeling bad and where to watch that I would most likely feel better....otherwise its just entertaining in general.

ProudAspie
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 274

06 Jun 2011, 10:52 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

ci wrote:

I watched an episode of that last night. Hardly a way to cheer up but maybe a morbid way of being thankful.

For whatever reason I enjoy things like that, so yeah if I where feeling bad and where to watch that I would most likely feel better....otherwise its just entertaining in general.

What music d'ya like? Where do you go dancing? Have you got an old caddy or a transam?

I wish I was 21 and living in America!

Here's a song going out to ya!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,920
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

06 Jun 2011, 11:10 am

ProudAspie wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

ci wrote:

I watched an episode of that last night. Hardly a way to cheer up but maybe a morbid way of being thankful.

For whatever reason I enjoy things like that, so yeah if I where feeling bad and where to watch that I would most likely feel better....otherwise its just entertaining in general.

That is a good song, but yeah I like mostly psychedelic rock and metal but there are bands/artists from other genres that I like as well...and the only dancing I can say I do is when I am at a concert but that tends to consist of moshing or headbanging or whatever and I have a bus pass because I am in college so I can go wherever I want on the buses without paying.

ProudAspie
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 274

06 Jun 2011, 11:12 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

ProudAspie wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

ci wrote:

I watched an episode of that last night. Hardly a way to cheer up but maybe a morbid way of being thankful.

For whatever reason I enjoy things like that, so yeah if I where feeling bad and where to watch that I would most likely feel better....otherwise its just entertaining in general.

Buy an old Transam or firebird and go to bands! You are only 21 once!

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,920
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

06 Jun 2011, 11:15 am

ProudAspie wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

ProudAspie wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

ci wrote:

I watched an episode of that last night. Hardly a way to cheer up but maybe a morbid way of being thankful.

For whatever reason I enjoy things like that, so yeah if I where feeling bad and where to watch that I would most likely feel better....otherwise its just entertaining in general.

Buy an old Transam or firebird and go to bands! You are only 21 once!

If I could afford that I might, but there is no way...I can still go to concerts though.

ProudAspie
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 274

06 Jun 2011, 11:22 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

ProudAspie wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

ProudAspie wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

ci wrote:

I watched an episode of that last night. Hardly a way to cheer up but maybe a morbid way of being thankful.

For whatever reason I enjoy things like that, so yeah if I where feeling bad and where to watch that I would most likely feel better....otherwise its just entertaining in general.

Buy an old Transam or firebird and go to bands! You are only 21 once!

If I could afford that I might, but there is no way...I can still go to concerts though.

Cool and an old Ford or Chevy V8 costs nothing and part are cheap!

Have fun and FTW!

Page 3 of 7 [ 109 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 Next

Jump to:

How to change the "victim" mind set? Post Reply New Topic

How to change the "victim" mind set?